The marriage proposal scene is like a black road negotiation: you want to exchange ideas, not just candlelight dinner.
Eight years ago, Gao Feng married and became a father, we say that called prodigal son back, constantly guess what is the reason. He said no, no one was a husband, a father, and you don't know what's going to happen next. It was a long-form decision to have a family. So how do you know you can get into a marriage? The only thing you can do is know that love is simply not enough, and you have to be marathon patient for this love.
Eight years ago, the show's cast announced that he was entering a marriage by not shying away from the high mountain he was known as a "love-field veteran." From the day of talking about nightlife, he welcomed his son and daughter, and his identity changed, becoming a regular visitor to parent-child programs.
Recalling the year he decided to become a family, he said that everyone would say that it was called flash marriage, or that it was a marriage, as if it were because of some irresistible reason, so that the prodigal son could only turn back.
But at the moment of this decision, it is a long time of reflection and struggle: "After all, none of us have been parents, have been husband and wife ah." Whether he is a prodigal son or a good wife, he said, he said, the decision to get married is like a black road negotiation, both of them have to seriously ask themselves, and then reach a consensus with each other - are we determined to start this family together? (Same Side: Interview with High Peaks: When you're a parent, you'll work hard all your life, but no one tells you you're doing great)
"Live together for the rest of your life" marriage proposal scene, you will be very shy ah, what happiness
That time, it was a long-distance phone call, like taking him to someone else's life. He was very frank, saying the naked mood of the moment:
"I was working in Sichuan at the time, she sent a message, because menstruation did not come, to buy a pregnancy test stick, may be pregnant. I'm really anxious right now and I don't know what to do. Boys, they're going to say, "Isn't you wearing a condom?" 』」
Until then, he probably doesn't have much of a family idea: "I really don't know what happens to me when I'm married and have kids." And at the end of the phone, the girl told him, In fact, I am also able to support the children. So even if you're not with me, I can give birth to him myself and take care of him. He said good, I know, but can you wait for me to return to Taiwan, we sit on the sofa, have a good chat about this?
He seemed to understand at once that it was not just a cross of the power, the desire to do it, but a life intersection that needed to stop, consider all the opportunities or fates, and make a final choice. Which side to go, far away will have what, not the same is in hand. "But i ended up telling myself one thing: Would I like to take on this with her?" 」
Or, more accurately, should we take a risk?
Half a month later, he returned to Taiwan and proposed to the girls.
In that scene, there was no romantic candlelit dinner, a flash of surprise, but a word of word, a deep struggle, nothing uncertain and brave: "I told her, you marry me." I've never been experienced, I've never been a father, I've never been a husband. I can't guarantee anything, but I want you to marry me, and we'll be the parents of this child and start learning a new identity. Because there are a lot of can not be guaranteed, so it seems that there is some kind of desperate firmness. Say to the other side to listen to, also like to repeat again to themselves to listen to.
"I know I'm going to be mentally building for myself all the time. But she has to be so aware. She is a very working girl. So he went on to ask the other side in turn, "What about you?" Are you mentally prepared to challenge your new identity together?
Here, I can't help but ask, after so much struggle, you have this full of courage to propose the scene, now have a sense of happiness?
He paused, and quickly responded, "No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I speak my mind, you tell you what you think, if one of them has a silky doubt, you may have to think of another solution. 」
But if it's a good talk, it's a successful communication -- the next step, are we all ready?
To be a husband and wife, you have to be patient with each other's love.
Marriage is like a break- through, a marriage proposal is a rite of passage, and every day after that is like the first day - you never know what's waiting for you.
When it comes to maintaining a relationship, what's the most difficult thing? "First of all, you have to be healthy, you have to have the strength to cope with all the chores you have at home. Otherwise it won't work, you can't do it, you'll be unhappy with yourself. Next, he felt that the second thing was to be patient: "Don't expect that anything will change in a blink of an eye." 」
"Like my life, there are a lot of things that the other person hasn't touched. You'll know if you're going to meet your heart, it's not strong enough. So you've got to put a lot of thought into making sure the road is safe. A marriage, or a relationship, occasionally comes to an event that suddenly hits you; two people, from completely different backgrounds of growth, don't see each other in the same way: "This is a test, how are you going to face it?" Some people quarrel and fight with you. 」
"In fact, to the present, I feel really like the first day, we know that we love each other, but you must also keep communicating, practice good talk, let each other understand." 」
And the understanding of each other, will follow the more profound: "Like she knows that I sometimes get emotional, she may slow down for ten minutes to talk to me about things." And she is not always in my grasp of the person, I will also send a message that I now have something really want to find you immediately, trouble you give me a phone call. 」
One thing by one, let both sides know that these are things that can be resolved. Like playing the game, and the so-called husband and wife, you can gradually establish a tacit understanding is, will not be because of a word of disagreement, suddenly die inexplicably.
So, you know, love, but love is not enough -- if you always have the challenge of updating, if you just can't know for the time being that things will be better, but at this moment you're willing to practice patience with each other for love.
Pictures: High Peak Powder