Why can chat a person's heart go away? Take you together with psychology!
"People have these so romantics put on all it's not on on any kind kind of reality."
"People project romantic ideas about them on everything without any realistic basis. 」
"Love at Dawn" (Before Sunrise)
At midnight, the rain outside the window, she was lying alone in bed, really feel that the lonely night, so open the dating software aimless slip. Is it too much to say she is alone? To see that she didn't stop sliding her hand, but rather was passing the time - she wasn't even looking at the picture on the screen.
Suddenly, the red dot notice jumped out, and she met him and chatted all night, just like Celine and Jesse in Love at Dawn. They talk from their lives to their favorite film directors, and from emotional to family life, and from the rainy season all the way to the cool autumn.
Some people say that long-term and high frequency, and the chat, will be the heart chat away.
Have you ever had the experience of being talked about like her?
Photo : "The Strong Women Are Shun"
Why am I talking and just walking away?
Once upon a time, people, talk ingested by writing letters, saying that love depends on the eyes, everything slow. But now that technology is improving, what will modern people's feelings look like when they get along less laboriously and meet less time-consuming?
Ben-Ze'ev, a professor at The University of Haifa in Israel who wrote Love Online: Emotions on the Internet, says the advent of online technology, including social software, newsletters, and more, has made the emotional link between humans faster.
Technology allows us to quickly find people with the same interests and the same purpose, but how can we bring them closer together just by finding them? The results of an experiment conducted in 1973 explained the secret of "online chat that makes it easy to talk to your mind".
The experiment involved a group of students in two rooms, one dim and one light-filled, to observe the interaction of the two groups of students. The results confirmed that students who meet face-to-face in a bright room are more open and kind than students who meet face-to-face in a bright room.
When we get rid of the stress of "face-to-face", we are freer, more willing to show our true self, and be able to get to know each other. Maybe that's the new secret.
Want to get closer to him, what do you do?
It is not easy to meet a person who feels chatted, how to bring each other closer together through chat? According to psychologists Suzanne Lachmann and Benn Grodin, there are four things you can pay special attention to when transmitting messages:
- Calmly look at each other's responses, don't make too much speculation and brain-filled.
- If you are very active on the topic, or always bet a lot on a message, it is recommended that you maintain a little more open attitude, do not hold too much pressure and expectation on a message, especially at the beginning of the meeting.
- If you're always looking forward to it and need a response, be especially careful about your tone, or you'll be more likely to be rejected. And also to understand, the reason why they eagerly look forward to the other side of the message, whether really care about him, or just want to make sure that they are still worthy of love?
- If you've been chatting for a while, try a phone call. You can get a clearer idea of the other person's tone and words on the phone than typing, so that you can get more "does the other person like yourself" message.
Looking at the above four points, we can find that even if you intend to and each other have further development, but also remember to retain flexible space in the process, do not stage too much of their own small theater, calm view, naturally reveal your good feelingoh!
Photo : "The Strong Women Are Shun"
When I first started chatting, what should You do to be careful?
After reading the four things we can do, let's go on to talk about the four things we try not to do during the chat!
- Don't cling to "how long should I respond" or "How long did he not respond?" Chatting with you doesn't mean the other person should respond with your life schedule, so try not to take the response time too seriously and avoid causing unnecessary anxiety.
- Even if you think and the other side close, also remember to protect themselves, in the uncertainty of what attitude the other person with you before, do not disclose too much personal information too early, especially if only through text communication, if too much may let the other side have room for misunderstanding.
- Don't send provocative photos or text, before you meet with each other and determine who the other person is, try not to share too close personal information, in addition to letting the relationship grow slowly and steadily, but also to protect yourself (of course, if you all have other intentions, then be a different matter, but still want to protect yourself).
- Don't expect the other person to give back, whether it's replying to messages, responding to your wishes, etc. When you expect the other person to respond to you with the same quality, it may be a burden on the other person, and it doesn't help the relationship when you start chatting.
Through chat, we can better understand the people in front of us (or before the screen), and constant communication, discussion, can also make more progress in the relationship, as in the "Before" trilogy film, the male and female protagonists a lot of dialogue and conversation, you can see, all the love is exchanged from that words.
Back at the beginning, she asked me, can chat really let go of the heart?
My answer at the moment is that it is possible if you like.
Bless you, i hope that the person who talks about your heart is the one who gets along comfortably and wants to spend the rest of your life together.