Watch inglechilded teenage girls, "Ellie's Doll", to discuss, why we are always used to sex education for girls in a threatening way?

At the end of September , Peng Jiazhi and others put forward a referendum proposal , " Abortion should be carried out within 8 weeksof pregnancy " . As soon as the news came out, it immediately aroused heated discussion among netizens. And in "Go Home," we're not only talking about the issue of female physical autonomy in abortion, but also about its relationship to family sex education -- I'm a daughter, I had sex today and I'm not expecting to be pregnant, can I talk about it with my family? If we find that the answer to this question is usually negative, what is wrong with sex education at home? (Why abortion has something to do with home: That time, I took a child)

Related theme children's painting book, Ellie's Doll, tells the story of an underage girl who is pregnant and has given birth. The heroine, Ellie, has a doll called Daisy. At the age of 15, she had a real baby. Then she found that caring for children and accompanying dolls were completely different, and that it was much harder than she thought.

In the goodTV "Oven Book Club" series, children were invited to read the book. The host began by asking the children at the scene, "What's the difference between the doll and the baby?" "What age do you think people above the age can have a baby?" "If she's only fifteen and she's pregnant, what's going to happen to her?" " and finally led to thinking, "Or a child has a child, the trouble is big, right?" 」

We can see that the words "encounter" and "trouble" are constantly used to lead critical sentiment. Through these guided questions and answers, we also discuss why we are used to enforcing sex education in threatening language. And on the issue of pregnancy and childbirth, why do we often only do one-way communication for girls? Men are often absent and encouraged to stay out of the game?

Photo : Screenshot of the "Oven Book Club" program

Photo : Screenshot of the "Oven Book Club" program

"How to see obstetrics and gynecology at such a young time" You thought the life, not so well bear

In the show's host's introduction, from the moment Ellie became pregnant, she basically went through a series of unfortunate "experiences." For example, originally wanted to prepare for the high school exam, but the time to study will be compressed; Mom and Dad originally planned to go on vacation money, all you take to buy baby supplies; your classmates began to like to find you out, the class boys began to look at you with a different look.

"The pregnant women in the hospital are all adults, only Ellie is a middle school student. What do you think other pregnant mothers would think of her? The host asked questions. "This strange man" a child replied. He then added: "How is it so small, but also like us to see the obstetrics and gynecology." 」

Throughout the message, we see the host constantly communicating, "How do you have a way to take care of a child when you're still a kid yourself?" Underage pregnancy will only make you lose the happiness you should have, and you will make your family begin to suffer.

And it's believed that this is the context in which many girls grow up -- when it comes to sex, they face threatening, threatening speech.

When you can't afford an unexpected life on a mental or realistic level, the next life you face is really hard. But when we just keep emphasizing this hard work today without offering any solutions to prevention or difficulties, that doesn't really help the children. Instead, children will only begin to fear this, not reallearning

Before understanding "why underage pregnancy is not appropriate for pregnancy", they experienced "the terrible ness of underage pregnancy" and before understanding "sexuality and contraceptive methods", they felt "the shame and fear of sex itself."

The children will not know why he can't do it today, but they will know how much I would pay if I did it today. When an unexpected pregnancy occurs, they think first that I will be troubled by my family, that my friends will stay away from me, that people in the hospital will discriminate against me, that no one in the world will help me. No one will like me that much more. So, you know he may choose to squeal, or he may face the thorny problemins in a more immature way. (Editor's recommendation: abstinence sex education: when our first imagination of sex is fear)

"Don't fall in love when you study" You think love, and will not protect you

We also continue to see how the host guides the character of actor Charlie.

In the drawing, Ellie first tells Charlie about it when she finds out she's pregnant. But at that moment, Charlie only asked, "How do you prove that the child is mine?" He was then sent by his family to a relative's home to "wind away" and had a new girlfriend. And when Ellie pushed the pram and saw Charlie dating other girls, she chose to step forward and wonder if Charlie would like to see the baby. Then she found out that Charlie didn't care about the child, but asked, "How's it going?" 」

Photo : Screenshot of the "Oven Book Club" program

The host asked the children, "What do you think of Charlie as a boy?" Some people answered "irresponsible", "avoiding weight", "one-night stand", "not really like Ellie", "he lied to her, used her", "If he really liked Ellie he would want that baby, would not have a new girlfriend", "wrong attitude" and so on. (Extended reading: Distorted Chinese sex education: men play while young, women's bodies are a valuable asset)

Then the host said, "Well, you're all right." Then direct the discussion immediately to "So do you think it's better to get married and regenerate baby first, or is it better for mr. baby to get married again?" So, in the whole thing, how can a boy properly face and bear the problem, and what better way to educate them about emotion sin can be in addition to being "protected by their families and being able to shelter from the wind?". These things are no longer discussed in depth.

Here we see neglected emotional education, including "Why shouldn't this boy do this?" "Then if he doesn't, what can he do?" And "How can this girl deal with this relationship in addition to accepting the boy's reaction?" 」

When the host pulls the focus back on the "because you have a baby when you're not married, so you're not happy", we won't be able to deal with the real core issues. It seems to say, today a girl in high school on the underage and unmarried pregnancy, you will only continue to feel, you believe in love, will not be guarding you at this moment. It's like what we hear very often when we were growing up -- now we just need to study hard, don't think about falling in love, you're still so small, how do we understand what love is? What to do at this time, what to do, do a good job of the student's own.

Thus, uncontrolled hormones, quietly sprouting heart movements and love, have become a sin. Boys and girls also don't know how to deal with runaway puberty. Finally, grow ingress in immaturity, uncertainty, and chaos. Will Charlie know how to be a better person? Will Ellie learn to love from now on? The answer is almost conceivable. (Extended Reading: Rainbow Moms in Church: You always avoid sex education, how do kids know about themselves?) ) )

Marry and give birth to a baby first, and if you don't follow this order, you'll pay a heavy price.

Towards the end of the show, the two hosts summed up the discussion of the book

"God has helped us set the order and rules to get married first and regenerate baby." This is a kind of protection for parents and children. If you break this order and rules, you have to pay a very heavy price. 」

In response to this passage, we can discuss the two aspects of the home. First, they communicate that "marriage is sacred" and that premarital sex is unmarried and unable to secure love; However, it is not discussed that today a boy like Charlie, even if married, is not necessarily a good father and a good husband. In addition, the program also constantly stressed that "baby should have a mother and dad." After marriage, he will get better care and happiness. Suggests that the "two-parent core family" is the so-called "complete home" and ignores the value of other diverse families.

Photo : Screenshot of the "Oven Book Club" program

And in the communication "underage unmarried pregnancy, will make your life will be very miserable" message, the host asked the children, "Do you think Ellie should give birth to a baby?" Children have said "no", "not yet an adult", "homework will step back" and so on. When the host then asked, "You say Ellie shouldn't have given birth to this baby, what should you do?" The children replied, "Abortion."

"It means, take the baby out of the belly, the baby can live?" What about a life? Dead. 」

So, if you can't afford it, you shouldn't have a baby because your life will be unfortunate. However, if you are pregnant today, you should not easily kill a life. Here, with threatening words, the children are frightened, rather than understanding the meaning behind this.

We see the story at the end, and the heroine, Ellie, begins to blame herself and apologize to her parents. She was angry with herself, because "breaking into trouble", so life has become not good. We can also think, why in the process of growing up, the final girls can only look back on themselves? In the above discussion, we have at least seen that girls are indoctrinated with more education than the solution is shame, blame, morality and fear. (Extended reading: Sex education is not qualified!) Teacher, please don't give me moral discipline)

For sex education for children at home, we should instead let them fully understand the core truth -- if there is no way to raise children, then we should use contraception. Then, educate about contraception, and how you can deal with it if you're actually pregnant today, take it off or give birth. Instead of constantly communicating "you're going to be miserable", we should turn to communication from prevention to the practical way of how things can be faced.

We know it's never easy -- and when you grow up, there may not really be the right sex education for you -- but from now on we can find a way together. And face it, it's a home that should never be avoided talking about.