Sex and love are very similar, you both agreed, say good together, the process may not be perfect, but you are willing to work together to break through. This gender observation takes you to a biological and cultural perspective. Dear woman, take back the right of our orgasm together!

"I learned their moans, hollow and thirsty, and you asked me if I was comfortable, and I said i was comfortable, and the reaction was as quick as i was rehearsed." But I'm just acting, and you don't find out. 」
- Milk and Honey, Lulu Kaur

On September 19, 2019, we asked readers on Instagram: Have you ever had a "fake orgasm"? YES or No!

A total of 977 people voted for "yes" to 697 (71%) and "no" to 280 (29%). In other words, more than 70% of the women had had "fake orgasms".

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Such a result does not seem to be a surprise. To judge a man's orgasm, just look at whether he has ejaculation, but it's hard to know if a woman is orgasm, and the public's imagination of a woman's orgasm is probably also vague - I'm afraid it's hard to moan, tremble, or refuse to welcome.

Since they did not reach orgasm, why do many girls want to "fake orgasm"?

So we went on to ask: Why do you think you want to "fake orgasm"?

Readers responded enthusiastically, receiving a total of 60 responses. There are several reasons:

  1. The body is tired and wants to end soon.
  2. Maintain the dignity of the other side, afraid of the other side feel injured.
  3. Let the other party have a sense of accomplishment, hope that the other side happy.
  4. Cooperate with the performance, meet each other's vanity and desire.

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From this small survey, we will find that in a sex match, "male orgasm" is considered the focus, "male ejaculation" is the end. Sex, which is supposed to be two (or more) pleasures, happy with each other, "woman orgasm" seems to be absent for a long time, and no one even cares.

Let's take a biological and cultural point of view and see what's going on, get back the woman's orgasm and desire!

Biological perspective: We misunderstood the vagina? clitoris orgasm, actually easier

When it comes to orgasm, do you think of a "vagina" or a clitoris?

Shen Zixuan, a sexologist and sex therapist, used to publish an article on vaginal and clitoris orgasms, which is easier? (Same show: Vaginal orgasm vs clitoris orgasm, which is a woman's true love?) ) )

In the 1950s, William Howard Meister, a gynecologist at Washington University in St. Louis, began studying sexual physiology. He placed a fake penis with an endoscope into a woman's vagina, and then used a camera to observe the woman's physical condition during orgasm and divide it into four cycles of sexual reaction.

"These four cycles have four levels of excitement, persistence, orgasm, and retreat. The killer of orgasms is a lack of duration, restless or cluttered thoughts and too weak physical sensations; 」
- Vaginal orgasm vs clitoris orgasm, which is a woman's true love? Sin, Shen Zixuan.

As for "sex" and "women's bodies," we may know less than we think.

In fact, the vagina is only 3-5 cm of the front section is a "feeling area", while the clitoris is spread over more than 8000 nerve endings and is quite sensitive. In other words, it's much easier for the clitoris to orgasm than the vagina.

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If you have a lot of curiosity, recommend you two wonderful pictures, together with the most relaxed humorous way to understand the female body!

Cultural Perspective: The Sexual Imagination of Men

When sexual activity is presented or told, the emphasis is often on the "extraction process" - we discuss posture, study position, and see "men entering a woman's body" as the main play of action. What about the foreplay? Or a woman's body, can there be a proactive side? (Extended reading: Repressed teenage lust: In fact, I've been masturbating since I was 13)

"When it comes to sexual ability, is it all about the so-called imagined persistent penis as a reference point?" 」
- History of Sexual Meaning, Zhang Yiguang

From the reader's response, we will find that, in addition to not getting orgasms, women often have to satisfy men's emotions, including maintaining each other's dignity, giving each other a sense of accomplishment, and so on, which may have something to do with the sex education we receive from childhood to large: we tend to regard the beauty of a sexual relationship as our responsibility.

"Girls casually spend the night outside, beware of bad reputation" "Don't have sex with boyfriends too early, or they will fall off" "Girls are always easier to lose" these accusations and criticisms, perhaps you are no stranger. Mainstream social values often tell you this: sex, is male earning women, is the boy active, girls passive, desire is strong and weak men. (Extended reading:"Mom, I have desire and want to have sex" and mother talk about sex, starting with the virgin membrane)

When girls in sex, become passive, affiliated party, girls' sexual subject, sexual desire, orgasm, also followed by invisible.

"Huang Zhenxuan ( 2005 ) in taiwan heterosexual college students to explore the love of the interview found that the woman is not the party to enjoy sex, for the sake of the man's pleasure and dignity, the woman will choose to bear the discomfort, not willing to take the initiative to communicate. 」
"Most women still lack the ability to negotiate sexual pleasure with their partners (Jamieson, 2002/1998). 」
Research by British academic Janet Holland and others has also found that young women express their sexual desires and ability privately, but in public they never break the established gender routine to talk about sex. 」
- Close Relationship, "Gender Towards and Taiwan Society", Yu Meihui

Looking forward to the day, women can be very comfortable to say: we not only want sex, but also want real orgasm. We know that sex is not a man to earn a loss, women can bloom desire, but also in the sex to become an active party.

Women want orgasm, please get your desire back.

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Whether it is a girl or a woman, there is always an appetite. There are a hundred shapes of lust, and so are orgasms. You must be able to find the ideal sexual relationship for you. (Recommended reading:"Single Diary" flirting is comfortable because you don't have to be alone in love)

And what I think is a sexual relationship, probably similar to a relationship. Both sides agreed, said together, the process is not plain sailing, but two people are willing to work together to break through. (Gender School: Make sex a more enjoyable experience!) Five charts that show you "positive consent"

"Men and women occasionally put on orgasms, can make themselves relaxed, but also can make the bed companion feel good, basically not in the way." But if the formation of false orgasm inertia, wear ingested mask can not be removed, will make themselves more and more unable to express needs and desires, will also let the close lover more and more depressed, pretend to go, and finally can not help but let the other side hurt, will also let their own internal injury. 」
- "Women go to bed to be themselves", Zeng Baoying

Sex isn't just about jerking, it's probably time to shift the focus to foreplay and women's sexuality.

Be brave a little bit, communicate with your other half or bedpartner, why try it tonight?

References to the
Milk and Honey , Rupi Kaur
"History of Sexual Meaning", Zhang Yiguang
"Gender Education Small Thesaurus", Yu Meihui
"Gender-towards And Taiwan Society", Yu Meihui
"Women go to bed to be themselves", Zeng Baoying