How can emotional education be taught? Look at the rejection letters written by these two students!
"He said he liked me, but I didn't want to hang out with him, but I didn't know how to refuse him and he wouldn't be embarrassed. 」
What method s(did you use to reject people you don't like?"
It is a problem that many people are distressed to say, especially if you don't want to break the relationship and don't want to give each other any hope, often need to make a choice. Recently, the Taiwan Gender Equality Education Association is promoting a new emotional education curriculum, one of which is teaching children to "confession and rejection", in which the teacher invites children in the country to write a "least harmful friendship" rejection letter:
In a post, the Taiwan Association for Gender Equality Education shared rejection letters written by two students, read carefully, and was able to find that there were many thoughts and their maturities, two of whom wrote:
It's not my problem to be rejected by me.
"I hope you don't think it's your problem, it's not your fault, it's great to have courage, even I can't be confident to speak with the person I like, maybe you will meet the appreciation, you will confess, maybe she will want to go further." 」
"Am I not good enough?" If I'm good enough, why don't you like me? Many people in the handling of "rejection", will stand in the situation of immobility, feel that the rejection of the other side is very embarrassed, afraid of hurting him, and afraid of not clear, by the other side of the misunderstanding of their own opportunity;
Children's letters, let us also rethink the rejection can be possible: a good relationship, whether friendship, love or affection, is based on respect for the other side, to understand each other's mood, but also to say their own ideas. At the same time, everyone can truly understand when they write a rejection letter - if one day they are rejected, it does not mean that the other person is the whole person, not to mention their own nothing.
Practicing to reject a person is not only a process of learning to respect the other, but also a practice of "accepting rejection".
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Even if you don't like each other, it's a good relationship.
"About your statement yesterday, er, I think I must also give you a reply!" I think i am now (the age), are not suitable for love, not because you (not) good enough, just think I am not ready, but of course, I can not deprive you of the right to like a person, we do not have to like each other, is the best relationship, we can also be good friends, learn from each other, encourage "
Is there another possibility for relationships? For example, if you don't be a lover, you can be friends. Even if we can't respond to this feeling, it doesn't mean we need to break the relationship.
In the past, people would joke that this type of rejection is "to make a good guy card", and for other reasons, it is an excuse. However, regardless of whether the other party refuses to fall in love is temporary, that the current personal status is not suitable to fall in love with anyone, or simply to the other side does not feel that we do not need to go to the truth behind the truth, all return to the other side of the most basic respect. As the letter says, we cannot deprive a person of his right, but we must accept the defendant's wishes and keep the distance he wants, which can be said to be a good relationship.
Emotional education, never too early
But we must also talk about another situation.
Many times, we have encountered a situation in which we have tried various rejection methods, but the other side is still desperate, and these acts are more likely to become a hate killing, such as in 2018, Taiwan has had three cases of killing each other because they failed to pursue. In these moments, we often hear voices such as "who tells you not to know to refuse" and "the party being pursued has a problem" and we must stop blaming the victim. (Recommended reading:Gender Watch identifies the other person as a terrorist lover, not the only way to prevent murder)
This type of case reflects the need for emotional education.
From the country, or from the beginning of the country, can seriously talk to children about love, lovelessness, confession, rejection and other issues, can let the child early understanding of their own emotions, know a healthy close relationship, is to learn to respect each other, rather than blindly bound each other, this side also want to re-emphasize that rejection is inevitable in the relationship, Rejection does not mean a denial to the individual, to believe that you are good enough to one day be able to find the most suitable person!