Obviously very tired, but you just don't want to sleep, are you also a "revenge staying up late" type of person? Let's look at what people who stay up late think from psychology!
Text: Womany Jiaqi
"It's only midnight when it's mine."
Nestled in your room, as the clock gets later and later, your heart starts to feel a little anxious, knowing that if you stay up late, you will be in a bad mood at work tomorrow, but you just can't turn off the Netflix series or mobile games in your hand. I thought it would be good to play another level and watch another episode, but it was already three o'clock in the morning in the blink of an eye......
In fact, many people have had this kind of voluntary stay up late. And it recently got a name called "Revenge Staying Up Late".
Only the middle of the night belongs to me: what is "revenge staying up late".
In an article on the Chinese popular science website "Simple Psychology", he talked about this psychological phenomenon of "staying up late with revenge" - because life is too hard during the day, and I have to do chores after work, and when I finally have free time, it is already the middle of the night. Therefore, people would rather stay up late and feel the joy of being in control of their lives.
In the English context, there is also a similar term called "bedtime procrastination".
This concept was developed by Floor Kroese, a professor at Universiteit Utrecht in the Netherlands. It is defined as:
There is no way to go to bed on time, even if there are no external factors that are difficult to rule out, that interfere with the individual's ability to go to bed. （failing to go to bed at the intended time, while no external circumstances prevent a person from doing so）
In the past, people always regarded staying up late as a physiological problem, ignoring the psychological causes.
But according to Popular Science , Krossi noted, "We know a lot of people who have trouble sleeping. But most of the studies only thought of them as sleep disorders."
In their study, 53% of 2,400 Dutch people said they went to bed at least twice a week later than they expected without external forces. This group of people may also have low levels of "self-control".
In addition, research has also pointed out that the greater the stress of the living environment, the more likely it is to have a vengeance to stay up late:
The object of your revenge is your life and your helpless self.
Retaliatory Staying Up Late Causes 1: Psychological Compensation Mechanism
If you want to find an explanation, you can start with the concept of "compensation" in psychology. When people are unable to achieve their goals because of a dilemma or flaw in some area, they often compensate for the frustration with other actions that are easy to succeed.
It is also a kind of defense mechanism for people to protect themselves and reduce psychological damage. For example, some people may have difficulty eating at night when they are under stress because they can compensate for it in other ways. (Read more: When you eat at night, you're actually digesting the emotions of the day)
Staying up late too.
Because you can't enjoy your time and do what you want to do during the day, at night, this unsatisfied psychology must be self-satisfied by "playing electricity", "chasing dramas", and "playing waste" - even if these entertainment may not be completely your first choice - because of these actions, it is easiest for you to get a certain sense of "I have rested" satisfaction.
Retaliatory Staying Up Late Cause 2: The Double Contradiction of Perfectionists
As mentioned earlier, revenge staying up late is identified by Krosie as a form of procrastination, and of course, the causes of the two are partly similar. Sometimes, we know that there are important reports and proposals the next day, but we choose to stay up late to catch up on dramas, which also implies two ambivalent mentalities of perfectionists:
"I know that when I stay up late and don't do well at work tomorrow, I have good reason to convince myself that 'it's not that I'm too bad' but 'I'm not prepared.'"
The first is to avoid failure. In order to avoid the fear that even if we are well prepared, we may still encounter failure, we often choose to actively escape.
"When I knew that if I stayed up late, I would perform badly the next day, and my opinion would not be adopted."
The second is to avoid success. Maybe a part of yourself wants to perform well, but is not mentally prepared for success. What if success changes your life now? In the face of anxiety about an uncertain future, we sometimes try to avoid success.
However, these procrastinators often forget the fact that no one in this world can really be 100% prepared and perfect themselves. Rather, it is the uneasiness, amplified by the fear of imperfection, that leads them to these actions.
How to effectively improve revenge staying up late?
Seaweed Bear's article "Make a List: Three Ways to Improve Your Procrastination Anxiety" gives a few ways to improve it, which are also very suitable for improving revenge staying up late.
1. Suspension Law
It's late at night, and when the second hand is slipping by and you're immersed in a youtuber stream, all you can do is pause for a minute. Stop and look at the screen.
Put everything in your hands down and place your hands on the table with your eyes straight ahead. Stop what you're doing right now, just pause, it's a bit like being frozen, don't think about anything, don't do anything, just stop at that moment, you can stop for a second to ten seconds, and when you stop, pay attention to your breathing, feel the situation.
Try to be aware of your current physical and mental state, is your body tired? Or do you get satisfaction from it? Ask yourself these questions and practice living in the moment.
2. Make a bedtime list
After-work time is very precious, so it's better to plan it well. Try to make a one-minute list of what you want to do two hours before bed, whether it's reminding yourself to take care of your body, reading a half-chapter novel, reading two photo albums, or writing a journal. Remove unimportant things and try not to reply to too many messages on mobile social networking sites. These important times are yours.
3. Be kind to yourself
The pace of contemporary life often pushes people too hard. If you stay up late with revenge because you are dissatisfied with life: you are really too busy at work, and the chores of your family and children are overwhelming. In the long run, sleep deprivation will be another kind of stress on your spirit.
Maybe you might want to consider changing your lifestyle. Thinking about changing jobs and taking a vacation; As small as taking a half-hour nap during your lunch break, or choosing to eat lunch on your own, you can spend more time alone. It's all a lifestyle that can make you feel more relaxed. (Extended reading: Solitude Aesthetics: Learn to be alone in order to enjoy the plural life)
Finally, you need to know that there is no right or wrong way to live. We may be able to provide a little exercise to show you that there is more to life than one absolute. But only you can find the answer that works best for you.