Interview with the mother, thought that the miraculous happy marriage, in fact, is not so simple? The family, after having their first child, all the problems began to surface.
Eight years ago, on the 101st day of their marriage to their father, they got married.
She was 30 years old and had just ended a failed relationship, and her father-in-a-half had miraculously emerged, slowly picking her back from the mud and drunken nightlife of her self-deprecation after falling out of love. Everything is perfectly good and not true: "You are suddenly met a boy who will take care of you every day, holding you in the palm of your hand." "Because you feel that it's always safe there, you quickly decide your second life and have a good time together.
And the shock bomb in the relationship, or at this moment without warning to deliver down -- that day, she stood up to her stomach, saw her husband's mobile phone with other girls ambiguous message.
"I've been wronged, and you've gone to someone else" We used to love so much
After marriage, they were still like lovers in the hot relationship. But just as she was pregnant with her baby and had a baby for months, she also heard the sound of love breaking down for the first time:
"I saw a record of him browsing a girl's name on his Facebook, so I ran to him without saying a word, and I found out that he was sending an ambiguous message to that girl. 」
"You've been in a relationship before, and if your boyfriend cheats, you're gone." But now it's not, I'm pregnant and I find my other half in a relationship with someone else; you feel like you've become ugly, and he's going to like other beautiful young girls, can you imagine how broken that? 」
The wife began to ask in the heart, Mr. is in when, because of what opportunity, began to have a second heart? Do you also feel anything, do you run and say to others, how do I become different?
After becoming pregnant, couples who had no money savinghabits began to realize that it would take so much money to have a child. The beef dad then desperately ran out, staying in the gym to rush performance, while the nest slowly watched the belly grow largepregnant women, then day by day began to feel their emotional and unbalanced feelings:
"I didn't start to be romantic at first. I had a tendency to have depression before I got married, but the symptoms never got better. You just suddenly step into a marriage, you feel happy, you think you've been improved, but you don't. So when I was pregnant, Because of the hormonal shift, I became a woman who wasn't that interesting. 」
Because with children, two people can't just talk about falling in love. If there is any problem that has not been solved, whether at the inside level or in the real economy, it will be naked to find you at once.
And the wronged wife, really put this account down. After that day, the father quickly and the other side to end the affair. However, there is clearly a deep rift between the couple. What's more, when the baby is born, you can't adapt to the new mother's life, post-partum body deformation pressure, a home problem is still in the mountains and the sea.
In marriage, a third person may not only appear once: what makes a vicious circle of relationships?
After the birth of the child, the distance of his wife's daily life is only crib, room, cot: "I am looking at a living in bed without speech ability of the creature, but he will cry, will eat and drink Lazar, I am not careful, the baby may be sick, will be gone." While unable to live in the non-free, while looking at the mirror of their own belly wrinkled ugly, people also become ugly;
This lasted a month or two, how many helpless days and nights, always unable to close the home, all, did not improve. At the same time, the wife also often mentions the husband's cheating deeds, to this question each other. There are about three or four years after the baby is born, and she has no choice but to forgive.
She said she just felt she owed herself a debt.
"Our marriage then begins to move towards a daily battle, scolding, or children. Not to mention the feeling of falling in love. Slowly can not return to that home, the meat father appeared and other people ambiguous signs.
Speaking of which, I was thinking about the development of things going down one side, but at this time the mother of the meat flew in to say to me:
"Actually, then I accidentally cheated. 」
After the child went to kindergarten, began to have the opportunity to return to work of the mother, but also because of a chance, and work partner wiped out a little spark: "You also did not really fall in love with each other, but in the process of getting along, you found yourself actually a little bit of a feeling of heart." 」
As a result, it seems only as if the marriage was going to go wrong, and it seems only possible to continue to deteriorate, and they decided to sign the divorce certificate: "By the end of 2017, we had gone to the house office and decided to sign it." Because we all think that since you have made a mistake, I have made a mistake, no matter how big that mistake, anyway this marriage seems disloyal, our hearts have gone away. 」
"Let's separate." 'It was a deliberate discussion, ' she said. I imagine that two people at the time probably couldn't forgive themselves -- so-called cheating, leaving the track, like recording the opportunity you've given up communicating with a relationship, having escaped, and failing -- and then, i don't know how to take forgiveness or forgiveness from the other person.
So you can imagine that simply letting go of a seemingly flawed relationship was a choice that might have been more affordable at the time -- a good relationship, a happy wedding, and, at last, such a mess. What the hell is it?
At this moment, perhaps no one knows the real reason.
Or go to this point, in fact, you do not know who to blame; including what they don't know right now, when you're just anxious to "reconciliation" and think, "I think The more you can fix the relationship, the less you need to do it, because you need to never go back to the original dream yin, but face the real family relationship in front of you - cheating is not a heinous one, and divorce is not the only solution -- though that's all after the story.
They press on the divorce certificate, walk at the intersection of life, want to stop all temporarily can not afford the mood, or more commitment.
Hearing this, I can't help but want to keep going. I thought, at last someone can talk honestly about marriage. (Interview Next: Mom on Marital Affair: You don't have to practice forgiving who, but remember to forgive yourself)