In September, the strong-bodied dad suffered a sudden stroke and collapsed. During this period, the mother went back and forth to the hospital to take care of the rush, for home, marriage, and health, she also has more different feelings and ideas.
On the day of the interview, her father was still recovering after a stroke; she came from the hospital and had to go back to the hospital after the visit, receiving two calls from relatives and friends, and couldn't help but burst into tears countless times.
Husband's state has not yet stabilized, the hospital has transferred to apply for beds, fitness classroom has the transfer of substitute classes, and she herself is almost lost the other half of the shock.
It's just that there's nothing to wait for her. There was no time, it was the first time she had felt the seamless ness of life.
You don't always have each other in a marriage: Do you have a way to support a family?
"One of the most impressive things about me was that after my husband had a stroke, in order to solve the hospital, I panicked and thought I wanted to talk to my father about what to do, but I finished writing and i was silly crying. 」
"How could I pass it on to him, and now it's him who's lying over there." 」
At that moment, she thought that the other side was the first person to speak when they had any difficulties. At this moment, she has no object to discuss.
You think marriage is a certificate, and there's a legal one that's about your life; the so-called "other half" seems to be really filling in for something you don't have, or what you need. However, in fact, like all the relationships in the world, if you can not complete yourself, when the "accident" comes, it will really become a family disaster.
Tears dried, and so she woke up again, she had been dealing with various hospitals, housework, work on the road. Without time, she suddenly found herself with no time: "You know what? Whether you're alone, in a marriage, or you're divorced, or unhappy widowed, I think every woman has to have the ability to be strong even if you're only one person. 」
"In a marriage, you don't always have each other. 」
At that moment she told herself that I was the only one i had anyway: "I admit I really didn't fit myself on my first night." I'd like to say, didn't we just go on vacation in the last week? You don't send the baby in the morning, we're not going to do what, how can you suddenly fall down? However, you can blame yourself, think "I'm so unlucky", and then weep all day: "But it doesn't help at all." You think, "Why me?" Ah, it's already you, otherwise? 」
Because next, the problem will only keep coming.
Can only die, there is effort.
A lot of people will say, "Mother is really brave ah." And I even feel that it is not brave, brave is, at least there is a deep breath, up to the oath of the rest, but she does not have such a gap, what she has, is a time not to hesitate to know when to end.
So, she is not "choice" brave up; in the face of this family, she did not vow, did not take deep breaths, she just in the husband fell down the moment, really feel their own and love and loss of the closest moment. Then what she did, running countless, is not to deal with the heart of that scars and anxiety efforts. What the hell is that?
There's nothing else.
She had a home, and now someone in the house is hurt, she's going to tell them, I'm here, i'll protect you, okay.
To keep yourself healthy is a "responsibility" that you can easily forget but that is important
We went back to talking about Dad's body. Many people will think, like him, health-conscious, high-frequency exercise people will suddenly stroke, in the end, which step is wrong?
After going through the low sbb, she said, they struggled to fight for the family and to give their children better educational resources. However, they made another mistake at the same time: "We spend too much energy on our work." Often in the middle of the night should go to bed, we all use to write textbooks. But bodybuilding events are already a very physically draining job, to have a good diet and sleep. In the excessive wear and tear, it is finally hit the body's critical point.
Originally thought to have passed a relationship test, but at this moment they realized that the original to a family is the most hurt, is this matter: "Until he fell down the moment, your heart will be very confused." You think, without this person, without health, you can't do a lot of things. We've gone a little too far before, and ignoring health is the most important thing in life. 」
When we're all healthy and the other person can still talk about next to you, you feel like it's always going to happen. However, sometimes death and disease are really close to us, and you don't know if you can get up well tomorrow.
And the category of health, in addition to the body, also contains the psychological dimension.
"From the time he fell to the time he slowly recovered, it was really painful. Because now there is a need to fight for a long time to help his brain nerve recover. 」
"His recovery period was terrible, and he would start with a disinformation. So every day you're like a challenge, and you're going to say, will he be mentally impaired? Will it be a bad-tempered, childlike person from now on? What can I do if I face a "strange and unhealthy" family? The mother-of-one was very candid about the fears she had.
But at the same time she also wanted to say, this is my home now: "You can also help in due course ah." Girls will give themselves a lot of restrictions, widowhood, divorce, you dare not tell, afraid of people to see jokes, falling rock, said you have a problem. This time dad had a stroke, and a lot of people said in her ear, Don't go public, it's not good for your image: "But that's where we are now." Instead, you can take the opportunity to tell everyone that such a healthy person will have a stroke. Isn't it important to warn the world? 」
"Of course you want everything to go back to where it was." It's just that in a home, you'll have a lot of love and happiness. And behind that love, there is more responsibility. 」
"Even though I'm busy every day, I still keep my exercise habits, my eyelashes cry or I'm going to pick it up." Although you need to spend a lot of time caring for your family now, some parts cannot be sacrificed; In times of sadness, what you like, things that can get you back into energy, don't change.
Go ahead, she says, and keep the life you could have: "My husband is a patient now, but you can occasionally leave him in the hospital, and you do what you want to do." He won't happen because of the time you leave. 」
So, accepting the status quo may not be so scary, but will give you some opportunities; (Interview Next: Story of a Couple: Perfect Marriage Imagination Is the Real Harm to Relationships)