The drawing book "You can't touch me" takes you step by step and the child to discuss how important the matter of body rights is.
"I love kissing and hugging, but when I say, "No! Please don't touch me. 」
When you get older from a baby in your family, you know he's curious and wants to explore the world, and there's a lot of good things out there, but there are some dangers lurking. How important is it for children to understand their physical boundaries? How do we teach, how old can we start talking about? In "You Can't Touch Me", answer sits step by step through a conversation between a mother and her child, Jimmy.
Mom said, I can't tell you why some people deliberately want to hurt others, but if we start talking now, then I can protect you.
Together now, there are four highlights in this book:
First: As a parent, respect the child's body from everyday life
"No, Mom! Don't do it! 」
"Okay, i'll stop when you want me to stop, right?" Jimmy's mother said.
At the beginning of the drawing book, the mother affectionately tickles the earlobe of the boy Jimmy, which is their usual interaction of the day. When the boy said "no", the mother immediately stopped moving. Although it's a relaxed field, the mother also opens up a serious topic by demonstrating herself:
"I was just joking!" Mom, shall we play again? 」
"Now don't, I want to talk to you about touch." 」
"What's wrong with touch?" Jimmy asked.
"If I've been tickling you, whatever you say you don't want to stop, it's a touch-related problem." 」
"If Mom does this, it's really annoying!" Jimmy said.
In general, children trust their parents and believe they won't hurt themselves. However, physical boundaries are fundamental to mutual respect between people. Even parents -- or because you are the most frequentcontacted by their children -- need to respect their bodies more from their daily lives.
The mother's performance shows us that you want your child to know that he has the right to express his likes and dislikes in front of anyone. And first of all, in front of you-- his home, the first social place he touched, his likes and dislikes were heard.
Second: you have to believe your feelings, your discomfort, are true
The mother and boy then told the story of a girl being tricked and touched by a neighbor. And this guides children to think about their own body perception.
"A lot of kids have some special reactions when they're in a dangerous situation, it's like an alarm system. Some children will say they feel nervous, while others say they will have an uncomfortable stomach. So, when your alarm system sounds, be especially careful.
"It's also possible that you'll become sensitive and irritable, like a restless cat. These feelings act like emergency security posts, reminding you to be careful. "
As the mother stressed in particular, every child is violated with a different reaction. But the same is true, you'll know it's unpleasant and uncomfortable. So when you feel the alarm system ring, you have to tell yourself that it's not right, and you're going to start being prepared.
Therefore, it is important to feel and believe that your feelings are true.
Third: your body, all belong to you, not only the private parts
In traditional sex education, the most common way is to educate children about "the place where the swimsuit covers, the place that cannot be touched by others". But in fact, the more correct way to educate should be "as long as you do not have your permission, all parts of the body is the place that others should not touch."
"Your body, from head to toe, belongs to you. Some of them are particularly private, which is what we say about privacy. We always wear swimsuits when we go swimming to cover up these private parts. We should never touch someone else's privacy unless there is a valid reason. 」
It's an important idea -- it's not just the privacy part, it's all about you. And from here, teach your child to respect the physical boundaries of others at the same time. When you want to make physical contact with someone, his will is more important than anything else.
To this end, people will also be more comfortable and comfortable, and become more close friends or family.
Fourth: What can you do when you encounter something that makes you uncomfortable?
Finally, the drawing book also provides practical practice. That is, how can a child protect himself when he or she is unfortunately assaulted today?
"Now let's give an example. What would you do if someone tried to put their hand in your clothes and touch you? 」
"I'll ask them to take their hands off me." 」
"Yes, first you have to tell the man to stop him. But it can be difficult to say that to someone older than you and older than you, and I think we have to practice first. You'll say, "Stop it! I don't like it! What' 」
In particular, the other person may be taller than you, or older. But even so, dear child, you are an individual and you have the right to say no.
Jimmy repeated loudly, "Stop it! I don't like it! 」
"You're doing well, so people will know you really think so!" I hope you will always remember that, if there is no legitimate reason, no one but you has the right to fumble about your privacy. Even Dad or I can't. Mom said.
"Children always think they want to be obedient" and in the past we used to only encourage children to be "good" and rarely tell them that you can actually "resist" in certain situations. Children can express directly, "I don't like it" and "Please stop." Speak up and express your opinion, it's your right.
Painting author Sandy. Sandy Kleven specifically mentions that when your child is old enough to sit and listen to the story, you can read the book with him. In other words, physical rights and physical boundaries are one that should begin to be taught when he understands what you are saying and knows how to speak.
By discussing this with your child, on the one hand, he can let him know that he can be judged, how he can react, and most importantly, let him know that he has support. Like the words of my mother in the book:
"All I know is that this is going to happen. But if we can talk about it together like we do now, we can keep you safe. 」
The children understand, like and don't like it, they are comfortable, they all have feelings. And what you need to do as an adult is to give them the language they can use as early as possible.