Contemporary Love Skin Hunger: "Thinking that you want to fall in love, in fact, just want to hug" Why is it cold to want to be hugged?

Cold day, walking in the street, you can't help but think, really is a suitable season for love, I want someone to be able to hold themselves, or hold their hands. Whenever the weather changes, we begin to yearn for a relationship to get through the cold days.

Some people call autumn and winter the hugging season, joking that people will look for objects from October, start planning in November, slowly enter the lover's phase in December, hug in January, and end a relationship in February. And the words "sleep" and "want to fall" also began in the autumn and winter, have appeared in the community. You feel that because you are very lack of love, sexual needs are not satisfied, and there is this sense of emptiness and loneliness. But have you thought about it? Maybe it's just because your skin is hungry and needs a little more touch. (Extended reading: cold to hug! Flirting Psychology: Why is "sleeping" more happy than having sex? ) )

Photo: "Happy Music Album"

Why does a person's skin need to be satisfied?

Skin Hunger, also known as Touch Hunger, refers to human desire and desire for physical contact, such as hugging, touching, shaking hands, and some people use sex to satisfy their need for hugging and touching. But it must be noted that when you desire to be touched, does not mean that you desire sex, skin hunger does not mean that sexual needs are not satisfied.

Samuel Waumsley, a clinical psychologist in Cape Town, said: "The touch between humans has a social and quiet element that can soothe a person through touch. Therefore, in modern society, the more independent and alienated we live, the more we desire skin contact. There are also studies that show that our generation has less close contact than the previous generation. 」

Psychologist Dr Terry Kupers, who has spent decades studying how skin contact cures prisoners held in solitary confinement, said: "Physical contact is a human necessity, and it has some degree of healing effect. "When I shook their hands, they told me, "You were the first person to touch my hand, and I've been here alone for a long time,"" he said, as he studied the process. 」

According to The Journal of Psychiatry, solitary confinement can lead to mental health problems in inmates, and lack of skin contact can be a factor. Such as prisoner Peter Collins, and Army sergeant Chelsea Manning, who was arrested for leaking U.S. government secrets to Wikileaks, have all proven that lack of contact in solitary confinement exacerbates the pain.

Chelsea Manning described it in the Guardian as a "zero-touch torture." The prisoner, Peter Collins, once recorded a short confessional film, Fly in The Oinment, describing how he longed for his wife's touch when he was in solitary confinement:

Somehow, I felt my wife's hand on my feet, I was surprised and happy, opened my eyes, found that it was a fly swimming on my body. I was so eager for someone else's touch that I closed my eyes and pretended it was my wife's finger. I tried to stay still, not want to scare the flies away, left alone with me.
Somehow, I felt [my wife's] fingers on my leg. Shocked and excited, i opened my eyes only to realize it was a fly walking on me. I was greedy for human touch so i closed my eyes and pretended it was her fingers. I tried to day perfectly still because i not't want to frighten the fly and be alone left.

Photo: Fly in The Oinment s/Youtube screenshot

After that, Peter Collins tried to hurt his cheek, mix blood with saliva, and apply it to his skin just to attract more flies. The fly became the only source that could touch him.

As can be seen from the above example, the need for skin contact does not come entirely from the desire for sex, and the touch between skin and skin gives people the most basic sense of security. And as you get older, the more you need to maintain interaction with people.

According to USA Today, psychologist Janice Kiecolt-Glaser believes that older people need more skin contact time than younger people: "The older you get, the more vulnerable the body becomes." As a result, it becomes increasingly important to maintain health through skin contact. 」

What if I'm skin hunger (Skin Hunger)?

Skin hunger is not a long-term state, and if you've recently felt stressed, prone to aggressive behavior or words, or feeling unfatinly depressed, intense loneliness, and then emotionally afraid of being attached and prone to stress and anxiety, it's likely that you lack contact with people.

At this point, what you need is to create links with anyone, such as a family member or lover, to find someone you trust, to draw emotion through a hug, and the moment of hug can greatly improve your happiness and reduce anxiety. If you don't like hugging so much, touching/touching your hair, hands, and face is also a way to satisfy skin hunger. (Extended Reading: Flirting Psychology: Why Does "Head-scratching" make you move your mind?) ) )

If you can't find someone you can rest assured of for a while, there's an alternative, such as finding a blanket you like, wrapping yourself tightly, or taking a hot shower, taking a bath, and letting the warmth of hot water replace someone else's hug. If you have a hairy child, that's right, give him a big hug.

Skin contact is a silent promise, and you know there's another person around who cares about you and has an emotional connection to you. As temperatures drop and loneliness becomes more rampant, you can develop a long-term relationship, or seek a short period of warmth, or perhaps - all you need is just that skin contact to feed your lonely soul.