Male star Gao Xiang suddenly died, too late to say goodbye, stay ingress, how to face without his life? Six healing ways to survive the pain, let's start together.
But didn't we just say and laugh the night before? Aren't we just playing in about? You said you were preparing for the new play, and I'd still be cheering you on? Didn't you say good Friday is good to get together?
I know the good warm you must not want to see you so sad for you, but my tears are not stop.
Riley asked me, Dad, why are you crying? I said, "Because Uncle Godfrey went to make the same day." Then she asked me: When will Uncle Godfrey come back? I can't control my tears anymore.
I don't understand why God used you so perfectly and took you away so early. I can only believe that He has a bigger plan for you!
Brother, I won't say goodbye, I will see you on the other side! - Blue Sky
Male star Gao Yixiang yesterday (11/27) in China recording a program, suddenly fainted, cardiac arrest, after rescue and still died. After the incident, artists and friends have been in the community to pay tribute. Among them, according to the Free Times , Gao Yixiang's brother Gao Yuqiao also rushed to deal with the aftermath , and although he did not make a statement , a large number of netizens worried about the situation of their loved ones , and poured into his microblog to express concern .
Gao Xiang sudden death news, too late to say good-bye, but as a relative and friends, the days that followseem seem to be only slowly practice to accept. Losing someone you love can be a time of emotion and trauma. How do you get through this time? Here are six steps to embark on a journey of healing together.
Photo: Gao Yingxiang Facebook
First, it's a very personal journey: everyone reacts differently to death, which is normal
Online writer Jinna Yang on Huffpost has shared her own restoration of her lost father. She says she often tries to compare her situation with others, "sometimes it's just to measure the extent of my grief, and I wonder if I'm overreacting." Or wonder if it's going to take long for my pain to go away? She once suspected that her loved ones had been away for a year and a half, and that she was crying to sleep every night.
However, she also gradually observed that her brother faced death in a completely different way; everyone was dealing with loss in their own way - meaning that you no longer had to guess or even deny your feelings or actions. The journey through the death of a loved one is very personal, and everyone's reaction to the loss is different. Some people may like to express their feelings openly in the community and feel at ease with it;
Anyway, whatever you want to do, do it! Your emotions are your own, and therefore there is no so-called right or wrong. And that's when you start believing that you're going to get through it.
Second, looking for support while feeling that you are still loved by the world
When the person you love leaves, you will feel that life is like a huge gap and a lack of it. At this time, you will particularly need emotional support. Find a loved one, friend, or psychotherapist to spend time with you. Their presence will let you know that you are not abandoned, that you are not alone, and that you are constantly surrounded by love.
Of course, you may not be very comfortable at first. Explaining what happened to others is like forcing yourself to face "it really has happened". Indeed, public admission, but also to begin to confess to the process of facing yourself - what kind of resentment, sadness and frustration you have about this loss, will be repeated. However, you will also gradually feel healing in the process of such "recognition".
You can choose your most comfortable mode, step by step slowly. The premise is that you are ready. And just remember one thing, talk about death and loss, doesn't mean you're vulnerable -- on the other hand, it means you're strong enough to start facing life honestly.
Three, don't fight your emotions: allow yourself to grieve, allow tears to accompany you
After the loss of a loved one, we will face a violent emotional shock. And maybe it's strange to you that you sometimes feel crazy and wonder why I'm so sad?
Sometimes, sadness comes at unexpected times. You may shed tears inexplicably while walking, eating, or going to work, and you may not feel it until someone around you reminds you that you don't know you're unconsciously in a state of grief. You may feel uncomfortable with such an uncontrolled routine.
And then you may find that others may be more anxious to get you better than you are. As the days go by, you hear someone say , "Don't cry" and "Get out of here", and your healing marathon may be more painful and anxious in the eyes of others. However, don't be sorry for it. Because emotions need not be an apology, there is no compromise. Sadness cannot be limited, you have to allow it to happen, to allow tears, to be vulnerable;
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"He's really gone": Accept that you can't go back to "normal"
Jinna Yang mentions that after her father left, she felt like she had lost all hope and the future:
"A year and a half later, I still ask myself the same question over and over again: Why am I still in so much pain?" When can I overcome it? Why can't I go back to Normal? 」
"It wasn't until I realized I should never go back to normal, that I took control of my life again. 」
Because losing a loved one makes you feel too much pain, so let you believe that in a distance, there must be a place that can "get better", can "recover", can "go back". Because there's no place worse than here. As mentioned earlier, however, there is no time limit for healing journeys, and no one will tell you how long it will take you to get through this phase; When you miss him, you feel the pain and the Buddha will never go away. But it doesn't matter. Because you are stronger than at any time in your life.
So perhaps the most important thing for you is not to go back to your original life, not to "get better" but to accept that it is happening and to understand that it is a part of life, and that you will find the power of a life that will continue after you accept it.
Most importantly, be kind to yourself and know that one day you will wake up and find that the pain is less, knowing that the days can go on.
When you're heartbroken, things you like won't change: Do what you love
On this road, you may always be reminded of pain and feel that it is difficult to feel happy again. Someone will tell you that it's better to keep yourself busy! Busy, distraction, perhaps not so hard. However, being busy can also make you more miserable - perhaps time doesn't pass faster, and each day becomes less and less meaningless.
The advice you want to give you here is that you can continue to do what you love. It can be a small thing, like eating strawberry-flavored ice cream, or booking a ticket to a place you've never been before. Because when you're sad, what you like doesn't change. Sad it still exists, we know, you know. We don't have to skip it in particular. But at the same time, you can choose to meet your other desires and needs, and as you slowly recover the positive emotions in your life, you will find yourself, step by step, to make a good life and take care of yourself.
"Thank you, and thank you" farewell ceremony: cherish the memories he brings to you
"For a while, I closed my eyes and all I saw was my father lying in his hospital bed for the last moment. I didn't see his smile. This picture breaks my heart every day. So I tried to forget him. Jinna Yang
After her father's departure, Jinna Yang was so shrouded in death that she didn't give herself a chance to celebrate his life: "I can't even cherish our memories of his time. How selfish I was, I ignored his whole 24 lives and pushed away such good memories. 」
But it wasn't until one day that she realized that her father had taught her things, the love he had given her, the strength and courage that still perpetually planted on her, and accompanied her along the way. She said her father had never left.
In the face of the last step of a loved one's death, think you're going to have a ceremony for yourself, it may be a physical funeral, or it may be quietly in your heart. In this ritual, practice feeling the love that the other person has brought to you, the memories of your relationship, the body temperature of contact, and at this time, good thanks to him. Thank you, come to your life.
You will in this ritual, understand that the other side never really disappeared. You will remember him, you will no longer be so afraid;
In the face of lost road, sometimes the long Buddha has no end, sometimes you will be surprised in a light, even if after a long time, you will suddenly feel lost. Because, it doesn't matter if you go through, but I hope you believe that because there is love and pain, this journey does not need to have an end, you know you can still feel happiness for life.
Bless him, and bless you.