Should there be a final sex after a breakup? Why do we want to do it, and after doing it, do I regret it? Talk together from a psychological point of view.
In the final stages of experiencing emotion, you decide to separate. And whether you're proposing a breakup or being broken up, your heart is more or less fragile and depressed at the moment -- you think, the two will have nothing to do with it, maybe they won't see each other again, and at this time, you want to hug you, you want to kiss, want to have another close encounter.
Why do we want to fight a breakup gun? What message is revealed behind the desire for the last sex? Well, is it a good idea? From a psychological point of view, talk together.
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"No past, no future" Why would we want to fight a break-up gun?
Knowing that you can no longer have you, this thing seems to arouse the desire to have each other for the last time.
Holly Richmond, a sex therapist in New York, says breaking up guns mean different things to different people. If your relationship is due to emotional disharmony, not sexual disharmony, the breakup gun will now serve as a ritual for "celebrating all the good things that have been good" between you. You tried, finally decided to break up peacefully, breakup gun may be a cherished language -- we really can't go on, but I really love you. Just like the original encounter, love the process, everything is so people yearning, through the last sex, you find those feelings, and to commemorate.
And at the same time, our bodies are also very honest. American psychologist Aaron Ben-Ze?v notes that when people realize that this is the last time you have sex, you're more free-wheeling, and you don't have to take on the emotional entanglements of the past that break each other up, or the tension and stress of sex. At this moment, you just need to show all your enthusiasm for him. There's also less to worry about the consequences of doing this, or the future, which provokes your libido and has more exciting, intense sex.
As psychotherapist Dr. John D. Moore explains, most people think that ending a relationship is just a direct event, but in fact it should be an ongoing process, and breaking up is only part of it. And on a journey like this, breaking up a gun can be an important ritual for you to let go of each other. He mentions that our brain's prefrontal lobes -- decisions that help us interpret, judge, and act -- react at the moment; break-ups make our emotions highly functioning, which also leads to intense cravings.
Sex therapist Kate Moyle notes that break-up guns can be part of the healing process in some relationships. It will help you get rid of the feeling of sadness, because it will make you feel that we were once wonderful. And this matter will bring each other more strength and blessings.
"I've started to give up on you" Breakup gun may bring more pain?
However, if you are not equal to power and emotion when you break up, it may not be so good.
Clinical psychologist Lisa Marie Bobby notes that the nature of romance is addictive, so when attachment is cut off, you feel pain and then a desire to reconnect.
If you're a breakup, you may quietly yearn to re-save the relationship through the break-up gun. You are usually a relatively heartbroken party, thinking that the other person may be able to think of two people together again from sex, or at least you can use this to escape the break-up but to your shock;
Bobby says that in the last sex, the moment can be really good, because even if you break up, your feelings and attractions for each other don't go away immediately. Through the break-up gun, you can temporarily continue that good feeling. However, such solace is usually very short- and may lead to more complex or worse feelings. In the current state of sexual activity, the hormones you produce will give you more confusion than answers. For example, if you think they have no problem with each other, you will want to know if the other person is still feeling for you, whether you have wavered, you have hope.
And then, in the end, you feel disappointed again. You find that the other person is to leave you, or again see why they have to be separated, and break your heart again.
So, in such circumstances, the break-up gun not only delays you out of the past at this point, but also can cause you to feel ashamed, exploited (you end up finding yourself with nothing), and feelings of regret. In the end, it created more and more confusion between the two.
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"Love is like drugs, there is once you become addicted" so how do I deal with differences?
So, back to the question -- should we break up?
In the opinion of most psychotherapists or sex therapists, it is thought that breaking up guns always do more harm than good. The reason is that most of the time we overestimate our attachment status. Even if you tell yourself that you really only think of this sex as the last time you can turn around and leave, you'll eventually realize that breaking up guns don't shut down your desires -- because trying to ease the pain through sex, a bit like drugs, you're addicted, even if you think you're going to be okay for the last time. But your desire is never the only thing -- you'll always want more, as long as you have hope for each other's feelings.
Bobby even mentioned that the only benefit of breaking up might be that you know again that having sex with your ex is toxic and needs to be stopped. He believes that distinguishing the emotional illusions of breaking up guns, recognizing these false fantasies, knowing that this is a kind of hurt, will encourage you to move faster.
Of course, it sounds simple, but it's hard to do. In the moment of break-up, our emotions are often complex and broken, you may feel unfair, and you may feel that there is nothing to do about it.
What I want to tell you, however, is that breaking up takes time. You may feel anxious and depressed, just because your emotions are being amplified in front of you, and you know that what's happening is not that terrible. And you really don't have to prove your love with another act of intimacy, that you've been loved, or that you haven't failed.
Put on your pants, get out of the room, and your honesty right now will eventually take you to a better place.