Is it always easy to feel powerless and sad when the festival or the end of the year comes? Maybe you've also suffered from the festival syndrome, and when people cheer and celebrate, you feel like you're the only ones who are particularly depressed. And dear you don't panic, we will find a way to adjust.
As the year passed, people began to count down.
But in a time when everyone is celebrating champagne and noisy everywhere, do you feel like you should be happy, but you're always happy? Honey, in fact, your feeling sits not surprisingly, and you don't have to worry too much. Clinical psychologist Victoria Chialy Smith says that at the end of the year, we are actually prone to feeling depressed. You'll look at the path you've taken at this point, feel that it doesn't match expectations, and that time or move on, the next year is coming;
We feel that festivals evoke unaddressed emotions, whether it's work achievement, financial management, life goals, or interpersonal relationships. At times like these, you can feel something you've lost, and then you're self-critical. We may intuitively amplify emotions, including desire, regret, anger, sadness, and depression.
Am I ready? You ask yourself that. So in a moment of celebration, you feel that you are somehow socially isolated.
So, how can we deal with such negative emotions? Step by step, step by step, and get together to 2020:
Photo by The Daydreamer of Tokyo
Step one: Accept sadness, you're really at the bottom
As mentioned earlier, if there is a period of the year when people have the most emotions, it is the end of the festival period. Clinical psychologist Victoria Chialy Smith says these evoked emotions and emotions are understandable, and the first thing you do is allow yourself to feel sad and heavy.
The worst part is that we suppress our feelings and continue to attend places of celebration; if you don't even recognize and embrace your negative emotions, keep exposing to the shiny things that are shiny, which may only make you want to disguise yourself more. So tell yourself that I'm not really good right now, and I accept the state in front of me. (Editor's recommendation: Your "social fake laugh" that you're good at may make you less productive)
Step 2: Adjust your mindset and understand that happiness cannot be quantified
When we look back and try to take stock of the year, we are often told what criteria to look at it, such as how much money you make, how many times you go abroad, have you made male and female friends? But psychological researcher Reina Gattuso says the message behind this is that happiness and achievement can be quantified and calculated.
Because of the end of the year, a timeline of time reminds us that we should score a score for our year. It's good to examine ourselves, but the various images of happy reunions that are flooded with Facebook dating times often make us forget the nature of happiness. Happiness is not a race, it's not that you don't have to work hard after reaching anything; it's that you're still accumulating your feelings about life, your ideal relationship, and then you know you're going to find more and more ways to make yourself happy.
Step 3: Don't deliberately isolate yourself and do what you'll really be happy about
Health consultant Rebecca Cowan says that when people become sad and depressed, they often want to isolate themselves. And that's really normal. He's just reminded that sometimes doing so only exacerbates the symptoms. Because when you block everything, your energy can't flow, the bad may only get worse, and if anything good, it won't come in. (Extended reading: Too lazy to make new friends?) How to view social anxiety after the age of 25)
Of course you can refuse social occasions you don't want to participate in, but remind yourself in due course and don't just stay in the door all day. You can do things that really make you happy, such as eating well, chatting with close friends or family, exercising, traveling, etc., so that you can keep in touch with the world when you're in a low mood. In the right way, you will also feel the energy that the world can bring to you.
Step 4: Create your own "non-holiday", you have your own festival ceremony
Jessica Eiseman, a psychotherapist, coined the term "un-holiday" and suggests that for festival-goers, try to start creating their own traditions so that it becomes a day you can enjoy. Since the original form does not make you happy, then let's change it!
For example, you can arrange a trip at this time of year, or do anything that is ritualistic for you. Above all, you recreate this festival for what you mean.
Step 5: Give up some goals in a timely manner
Finally, let's talk about giving up!
As the new year approaches, you feel the tension around the countdown, and many people remind you that it's time to make a new wish for yourself. Also at this time, you are particularly easy to set goals for yourself that you simply can't do, and then to be disappointed in yourself the following year.
Reina Gattuso says that even if it's the so-called "new year", you don't really need to come up with a completely "new self." You're fine, and no one has stipulated that you must reform yourself at this time. The real change is gradual and will not generate more hope after the penultimate 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. (Editor's recommendation: You don't need to meet better yourself!) Adler Psychology: Life is not so much to help yourself)
So, abandon those unrealistic goals, give up become the "better" self, you may see more different things.
Finally want to say to everyone, this year you have been very hard, good with their own say thank you, thank yourself to bring themselves here. The coming of the next year, it can be full of a variety of rich meaning, can also be just daily life, day by day across the day, and you are still moving forward. By the time you can face your own happiness or sadness, you will find more and more happiness in the balance with the world.