Why are they becoming more and more annoying and unbearable now when you like each other's qualities?
On Dcard or PTT, a lot of people say, "I've been with your boyfriend/girlfriend for years, but i've been more and more like being in the same space lately, and every time I see him petting or trying to hug or kiss, I feel sick."
This situation is not because of "no feeling" or "too long to get along with, less passion", but because "bored" and even feel pain. But why do you feel that way? At the beginning clearly like each other, but why in the long time, the feeling of hate will appear one by one? The reason behind this can be seen together.
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The feeling of liking will disappear, but will it become annoying?
In dating like each other's characteristics, such as self-confidence, care about you and so on, when you feel moved for everything, but after getting along, you find that you are more and more unable to endure the other side of the original heart-felt characteristics - before his self-confidence, now now seems to boast, will only praise their ability, who appreciate, But in fact the strength is not much good, but can not accept other people's advice; in the past feel that he cares about himself, willing to arrange any trip, only stay around you, occasionally feel that he is jealous up very cute. But now I think he is too sticky, just go out with friends to lose your temper, control is strong enough to make you can not breathe.
The feeling of liking will disappear, but sometimes your feelings about him turn into disgust.
According to The Times, psychologists say it's common to treat the other person's negative qualities as positive, especially on a first date. Kara Lissy, a psychotherapist and clinical coordinator at A Good Place, a psychotherapy and counseling clinic in New York, says:
"When anxiety and excitement occur, our body reactions are very similar, with restlessness, rapid heartbeat, or redness. In this case, sudden or risky behavior in a date often leads to confusion and the mistaking for potential dangers as "sexy" and "challenging". 」
That's why, usually, after getting along, you'll gradually find that the other person is more and more flawed and intolerant. (Extended reading: Sex into everyday errands: My dislike of my husband after 40 years of age)
But why do i get to the point of disgust in every relationship?
If body reactions can be misleading, then people will never be able to distinguish between dislike and like? In fact, the misunderstanding situation, mostly in the beginning of contact with the person, however, if you find that the other person is full of potentially dangerous traits, but can not stop continuing to with each other, then psychotherapist Arlene B. Englander suggests another possibility: you". The traits on like ness reflect what you've been through in the past.
"This is repetitive obsessive-compulsive disorder. In such cases, the traits that the partner 'attracted' to them may reflect the negative qualities his parents exhibited in childhood. 」
In your childhood experience, parents may have controlled and hurt you physically or psychologically, and your subconscious is more receptive to people with similar traits. Arlene B. Englander says that growing up, people try to repair the scars of childhood and try to take control of their lives, but when they find themselves in the same reincarnation in a relationship, they are angry and desperate about everything that hasn't changed.
Is there any way to always like each other's qualities?
You may think of the other person's jumping topic as fun and witty, sudden moves as romantic, mistaking each other's various performance as perfect. At this point, you can be particularly careful, which may be his bad habit satout in his past relationships.
It is difficult to tell if the other person is really friendly or dangerous, especially when the other person always holds the "Care about you" banner. But Judi Cin?ass, a clinical social worker, suggests crossing the traits that excite you and see what each other really looks like: "Listen carefully to how they talk about friends, family, exes, even the couple sitting next to you." Listen to what the other person is saying to the other person and get insights about the other person's real stake. 」
If this repeated emotional state, let you feel tired, please do not be discouraged, in fact, a relationship, like and do not like the place will coexist, do not be afraid to explore the unknown, do not be afraid, the other side and the original imagination is not the same. At the same time, also understand that in a less comfortable relationship, you do not need to be wronged, if it really can not continue, turn to leave can also.
Finally, I hope you can find a feeling of feeling at ease and happiness!
If you also have doubts in the relationship, welcome attention, private information women's love relationship account, we will choose from the question, hoping to solve the puzzle for you.