Interview Tao Jingying, in the relationship know how to say how to say, say want is very important: "In the girl hood will say "you guess" guess a fart ah? No one can guess what to say directly. 」
Above, an interview with Tao Jingying: Forced out of touch with the world is the most terrible punishment for the mother
No matter how long the relationship is, it's important to know how to praise
When we enter a relationship, after a long time, even know that each other have feelings, but still hope, can always maintain the heart dynamic, so continue to pursue a variety of ways to increase temperature. She says it's important to keep the relationship warm and encourage it, not just for partners, but for children.
She talked about the previous days on the network to buy dandelion lamp, her husband looked at her east and west, knew she would not assemble, so she took over to install, but also specially ran to buy tools. She looked happy, said thank you and took a photo upload IG once: "He saw this sentence "thank you husband" is praise ah, he will receive." It's not that everything has to be done by the other, but it's not so tired when everyone realizes that home is everyone's responsibility. 」
Praise the joint effect, but also let each other realize that home to everyone, has their responsibility, let the other side willing to stand up, to organize the room, take care of the children, for the family to pay action.
She cites a dog as an example, usually training a dog to act, and you give him a cookie as a reward, but in a relationship we are reluctant to say or say anything to express gratitude: "Where are your cookies?" Most people complain in a way - you don't have much of a job. Instead of doing things in the other person's side, thank him. 」
To the extreme, he did ninety-nine wrong things, can he start from the right one praise, encouragement, and then slowly to change the front 99 things.
She also often encourages children in this way, praising them as perfect children. Where did the child listen? Mom, you often say I'm very leathery and i speak badly. Tao Zi sister instead said to the child: "Yes, mother said perfect, not the kind of flawless robot, I want to be perfect, there is a different proportion." You're naughty and sometimes bad, but most of the time you can communicate and be reasonable. 」
The child is happy to listen to, but also willing to believe with you. So, ah, you don't need to be angry and blame who you're accusing, and in the right way, praise can sustain the relationship.
What you want, say it.
In her interviews, she often said that she would be very good at "Zhang tiunn" (Taiwanese: make sex), this "Zhang", not only because of the importance of themselves, but also to encourage everyone to speak directly of feelings, create interaction, grievance is good, anger is good, demand is good, silence will not make everything better, active expression, in order to find your ideal relationship.
"When i was a girl, I would say, "Guess, guess, guess a fart?" No one can guess what to say directly. For example, if she wants a Mother's Day card, she says directly to the child, write a good card: "Others will say they are embarrassed to speak, and it is not natural to come." No, I think it's good. 」
Parenthood is that the partnership is more, speaking the same way and truth: actively pursue what you want, break the rules of disgust, and ask for what you desire without losing face.
Interview to the end, I want to go to see Tao Zi sister in the program sharp but forthright remarks, she all the way to the family, whether it is husband and wife or parents, she was always able to confess to face those pit scars, honestly say the suffering of mothers, several times I listened to, can not help but feel a shock, always feel that marriage and family is really a disaster, but she can always tell you, There is no end to the world, you can rise up and keep fighting.
Edit postscript
When taking the photo, Tao Zi sister chatted about the child growup, parents will have to face the process of separation from the child: the child who was willing to let you hold your hand, perhaps when he grows up, will throw your hand away. She also laughs and says that now want to hold the child's hand, they will bebecause in public and refused, only willing to hold hands in private.
I thought, Tao Zi sister can have a set of methods to teach us how to face. But as she spoke, her eyes became red, choked, and said, she cried when she shared the mood with her friends: "I think one day, I and Lao Li will face, the child will go." 」
At that time, I began to think, home is an exercise, no life will deal with, we are so, Tao Zi sister is also ah.