It's fun to fall asleep together, but few people can do it. Will sleeping in a room affect our feelings? You have doubts and anxieties, let us answer together!

You and your partner love each other and have a good relationship, but do you find it hard for two people to fall asleep in the same bed?

Snoring, turning over seriously, sleep time is different ... for various reasons, so that your sleep quality has not been very good; You want to sleep too much, but worry that it won't affect your feelings, or what will they think if they are known?

Honey, you have these feelings and worries, but they're all normal. A 2019 U.S. survey found that about 31 percent of 3,000 respondents were eager to sleep separately with their partner, and the American Sleep Foundation found that nearly a quarter of couples slept alone. Although two people sleep together seems very happy, but in fact it is not low door, including you have almost consistent physiological clock, your sleep habits are good, no one will snor, or at least not shallow sleepers and so on.

And if we can't meet these "conditions", perhaps we should consider sharing a bed/room to sleep so that each other can get more sleep. You may have doubts about sleeping apart, or you can start discussing it together here:

Photo : The Sun of the Lord

Does sleeping apart affect our relationship?

Is it normal to sleep separately in a relationship?

In a related discussion in"Elite daily"excerpts from a reader's letter stating that he has frequent insomnia and a sleep-deprived problem, so he and his partner sometimes sleep separately. It was the only way he could get some rest. However, despite his belief that this was justified, he was still ashamed of such an act, which was a dark secret.

Susan Winter, a New York relationship expert, responded that two people want to sleep apart, and if you discuss it as a meaningful act for each other, that's fine. For example, if you have some one on the night shift, some one needs to get up early, or someone always sleeps. The truth is that every relationship has different needs, and to live together, we have to understand and find ways to meet those needs together.

We can also be concerned that lack of sleep can lead to reduced immune function, which in turn leads to physical and mental health problems. Includes irritability, depression, or anxiety, which can also affect your relationship. Therefore, if you can not take care of their sleep, you inevitably start to want to complain about each other, long-term down you are actually hurting your marriage / love.

In addition, in fact, this is also like we always need to have our own space in the feelings, just today your space is a bedroom. And having your own space doesn't mean you don't need each other anymore, so the occasional sleep in a room isn't formally separated; think like -- you're just looking for a way to live together that makes each other more comfortable.

And it's like any other difference in a relationship, when you want to socialize, you want to live together, you'll find different places to be different from each other, where mature partners will learn to face up to problems and find mutually acceptable solutions.

Does not sleep in the same bed affect sex?

Next, talk about intimacy. One of the anxieties you might intuitively have about sleeping in a room is that it won't affect your sex life?

A 2005 study in the journal Journal of Circadian Rhythms found that married couples tend to have sex most often between 11 a.m. and 1 a.m. before bedtime, and that partners who sleep separately may miss this important point in time. Just at the same time, Tamara Green, a new-York husband and wife therapist, says it's absolutely possible to sleep in bed and have a healthy sex life, as long as you work well and plan. In addition, because you have been given enough rest, you are more willing to listen and meet each other's needs and create a better life.

Photo : The Sun of the Lord

We can understand that when the quality of sleep drops, your sex hormones also decrease as stress hormones rise, leading to physical or psychological causes of sexual dysfunction. Or, as mentioned earlier, sleeping well makes you grumpy, and you won't have the patience to maintain your relationship, let alone intimacy. So, getting a good night's sleep is probably the best thing you can do for you.

As writer Daryl Austin wrote in his Los Angeles Times column, "This gives us the opportunity to miss each other,......, separate nights, the only time to really feel the desire for each other." This desire leads to seeing him every morning as if there was a button for a new beginning. 」

When I sleep full, I have more physical strength and spirit, can take good advantage of the time with you. Does not sleep in the same bed make us no longer have sex? Dear, only when you can not live happily in this cohabitation space, is the real killer of intimacy.

When do you need to worry about "sleeping apart"?

While it's good to choose to sleep alone on some premises, dating coach Fran Greene says it shouldn't be a long-term habit. He mentions that the bed is reserved for lovers, and that it should be the most private space in your relationship. Sleep is essential for health and well-being, so you shouldn't sacrifice it entirely, but you should also find a balance.

In other words, room-sharing may be a temporary solution, but it shouldn't be a conduit for you to escape this, and you shouldn't sacrifice your close links to each other. You can suggest, for example, that you sleep in a room on a day trip to work, but that the holidays still have time to sleep together, or that you have their own space for sleep at night, but agree to have more date opportunities during the day, or that you must hug several times a day or even make a sexual schedule to maintain a close relationship. Most importantly, make sure that this decision does not make either of the other feel unloved, ignored, or ignored. (Editor's recommendation:"I love you, but love your family soon" Couples late at night: to avoid sex into routine, only need "sex itinerary")

In the process of communication, maintain an attitude -- the decision is based on "two people" rather than a single individual need. Therefore, the word "you" can be replaced by "we"; Finally, never forget to give love and support to let your partner know that I love you anyway, so I hope I can discuss this issue together.

It's a blessing to sleep well; Above all, when you encounter difficulties, you have the will and courage to face together.