Indian sociologist Deepa. In her TED talk speech, Deepa Narayan mentioned the ways in which women's voices are commonly covered up in seven societies she has studied in the past. She says she visits educated middle-class people, and because of that, their answers are often surprising. We thought education would make gender equality, but the truth is that we are still a long way from that.
As a girl, what's the most common thing you're told about growing up?
You may tell you, you have to be well-behaved, obedient, to know how to look at the occasion, do not take too active, do not speak loudly. We are being instilled little by little that being a "good girl" should be a fit; A survey of women's influence in 2020 found that nearly four in ten women thought they had no sense of accomplishment in the workplace, half of which was due to their habitual humility.
And these limitations and personality development, also occur around the world at the same time.
Indian sociologist Deepa. Deepa Narayan, speaking at a 2019 TED talk, said she wanted to know what was blocking a woman's mouth. Her gender research was inspired by the 2012 Delhi bus rampage and was eager to understand the root causes of abuse: "So I'm starting to ask a simple question: What does a good woman and a good man mean to you today?" 」
'In three years, gathering more than 600 educated middle-class accounts, we thought the world had changed, that women could practice equality and freedom as long as they went to school and work, but the truth is that some deep-rooted ideas continue to abuse and bind us,' she said. She lists seven reasons for women to shut up, and these ideas and statements are no strangers to us in Taiwan.
Society tells women that you don't have a body
Deepa. The first step in getting the girl to disappear, says Narayan, is to make her body disappear. In nine out of ten of the cases she visited, women said they did not like their bodies. And we can imagine that because we don't talk about sex education from home to society, we don't know our bodies, and thousands of women continue to be sexually harassed or sexually assaulted. In addition, because of his negative comments on these things, women are less willing to face their bodies.
"When a girl rejects her body, it is tantamount to rejecting her only residence. Deepa. Narayan said.
Second, keep quiet and shut up
"Don't talk, be quiet, shut up, speak softly, don't argue, don't talk back." These are the instructions that almost every girl hears from the mouth of her elders from an early age. So the girls began to become afraid and cringe; No one will listen.
Deepa. Narayan interviewed educated women who said their number one problem was "unable to speak out":
"The Buddha had a foot on their throat, ready to seal her throat. 」
Three, be a pleasing person to please others
How often are women expected to take on emotional labor? Deepa. "My dad said, "If I don't see you laughing, I'm not feeling well," Narayan said to an 18-year-old girl named Amisha. So she smiled.
"His father is educating her that my happiness is more important than yours. 」
And when everyone likes a good woman who smiles, never says no, doesn't get angry, and delights others for a long time, women become afraid to make decisions. They face the choice will say, all good, hello. I would even end up proudly saying that I am a very resilient person, and that I can do it when others want me to be.
Four, no sex, no desire
Deepa. Narayan observed that basically people are not new to sex, and now there are even more and more people who recognize women's right to desire: "But women who are not allowed to have their own bodies, who may have been sexually assaulted, who can't say no, and who are full of shame, how can they claim to have sexual desire?" 」
Five, don't trust women
"Imagine what would have changed the world if women were united?" 」
Deepa. To ensure this doesn't happen, Says Narayan, India has based its high moral values on loyalty to men and family secrecy; So the woman she visited said one after another, "The only woman I can trust is myself." "Women are jealous and hurt behind her back. It includes highly educated women who are committed to women's rights.
'If you ask them today, why don't you join the women's group?' she said. They'll say, "We don't have time for gossip." 」
Responsibility takes precedence over desire
To be a good girl, we have many tasks, including politeness, care, obedience, kindness, and ability to perform their duties... and so on. But after these responsibilities, "only a little desire has disappeared." 」
She gave an example, such as the mother at home, who, after sacrificing herself, had nothing to say but food. "Have you had enough?" "What would you like to eat?" And such a role, eventually called by men, is boring.
Seven, completely dependent
When these habits simultaneously limit and scare women, they begin to feel afraid and think they have to rely entirely on men to survive: "This allows the male power system to continue to function." 」
So it's clear that these seven habits are commonly depriving women and making it easier for men to abuse them.
Photo: Screenshot fromDeepa Narayan: 7 beliefs that that can silence women
Deepa. Narayan's research and integration, although derived from Indian culture, but we still feel stinged, sentence point to the essence. Perhaps because we live in an environment that is still covered by patriarchy, the path to gender equality is still far off. As she put it: "On the one hand we love our daughters, but on the other hand we persecute them." Before we know it, we're all complicit in gender repressed.
But she also concluded by suggesting that all habits come from learning, and that we certainly have a chance to change. And without male participation, this huge social revolution will not happen. Imagine a society where gender equality, in which everyone can express themselves, participate in politics, and listen to each other, without blame, humiliation, and harm.
Is that what you want? That's beautiful, okay! Hey, we can do it together. And would you like to start together?