Four years ago, she was the "victim of sexual assault" writer Zhang Xiaoxia: the real name, in order to regain strength

"In 2015, Brock Turner, a stanford university student, sexually assaulted a woman who was drunk on the side of the road, and Brock Turner, unconscious, put his finger into the woman's body and sexually assaulted her, Brock Turner's father wrote to the judge before the trial. The son is only twenty years old, and has a beautiful future, can not be destroyed by the 20 minutes of drunken disorder. 」

In 2016, the U.S. media reported heavily on the sexual assault case of the Stanford male (Women's Fan Report:"Gender Watch" "Sexual assault on me is not alcohol, but you", Stanford sexual assault victim's letter to the community) The woman at the time was unnamed, she was a "sexually assaulted woman", she was "drunk on the side of the road", she was "Brock Turner drunkenly sexually injured woman", and then she was known to be anonymously "EmilliDo"

In 2019, Emily Doe published her personal memoir, Know My Name, and everyone knew her real name, Chanel Miller, Zhang Xiaoxia.

Photo:Youtube Video

"Without a name, I feel like I'm losing my healing power. "

If there wasn't a 2015 sexual assault, perhaps the name Chanel Miller would have appeared as a writer or an illustrator.

Chanel Miller graduated from the University of California, Santa Barbara, with a Bachelor of Arts degree in 2014 and, despite living a normal life as an office worker, she was still haunted by depression and panic, but couldn't tell anyone. On June 3, 2016, BuzzFeed issued a statement in the name of Emily Doe, which explicitly pointed to the defendant, Brock Turner, who she said was a letter to you.

One day, I was at work, sliding the news on my phone, and I saw an article that was the first time I knew how I was found unconscious, with my hair in disarray, the necklace around my neck, my underwear exposed, my top being ripped off. I knew it as if i had happened to me.

The damage to you is obvious: qualifications, degrees, and admission rights are all cancelled; You deprive me of my worth, my privacy, my energy, my time, my security, my intimacy, my faith and my own voice to this day.

This letter is not only a complaint against the accused, but also a strong and powerful declaration to society. Chanel Miller continues to feel that, as a victim of sexual assault in the public eye, she has lost not only a quiet life, but also the right to a narrative, and that she has no way of telling her story. Once she is placed in the victim's position, she can only passively bear the blame and sympathy of the community.

At the time, many blamed the sexual assault on a difference in perceptions on both sides: because both men were drunk and didn't agree, she told the Guardian in 2019: "For some people, it's easy to take my statement and dissect it, and maybe they're happy, but they're not as happy as they think." I have no interest in always making excuses when a drunk man beats a girl, we don't say: alcohol affects his judgment, you have to take responsibility, it's a crime. 」

At first, anonymity was meant to protect her personal safety from being threatened, but over time she found herself, who had no name, losing her ability to heal. But she knew that to heal and recover for herself, the victim had to stand up to the subject, show strength, tell a story of her own, in which she did not have to blame herself and believed she could change the problem.

That's why, after three years of silence, Chanel Miller decided to hang up his book.

Art Therapy to Writing Therapy

During her period of depression and panic, Chanel Miller, who has a literary background and artistic background, healed herself through writing and painting.

Photo:Chanel Miller IG

While writing Know My Name, she worked with the animation team to create an animation called "I Am With You" to share how painting saved her, allowing her to breathe, and how she realized that life was still filled with joy and joy, and how to make her stand up again. "Each of us should have the opportunity to define ourselves, to reshape identity and story, and we should create space for survivors to tell the truth and to speak freely," she said. 」

Speak when when try try to silence.
up stand when try to shove you down.

Despite calling her a survivor and calling her a victim of the Stanford case, she would say that she was Chanel Miller, a woman who had gone through sexual assault and admitted that depression and trauma were eroding everyday life, but she was able to weave a web for herself, tell her own story, and name her story.

And from now on, we should also hope that this society, with greater gentleness, to undertake every pain, while allowing every one who has experienced trauma, to reshape their own strength, to narrative, to heal, to change.