Interview with Fukuhara Love: In front of anyone, I am used to putting myself in the back of comparison

She started playing at 3 years and 9 months, won the youngest Japanese national competition children's team at the age of five, entered the Japanese national team at the age of 11, and has won medals in major international competitions. Fukuhara love, a name that almost all Japanese know, has been in the media for more than twenty years, but behind the screen, she rarely sees how others comment on themselves, so as to avoid their own madness.

She said that there are two Fukuhara loves in this world.

This year, she published her first book in Taiwan, "I'm ready to cry anyway", and wanted to talk about her true self. You've seen her beautiful life, and the one she's actually walking with may be like yours. Self-doubt, dare not express, with tears accumulated days, or to this day, I asked her whether she had ever felt happy for themselves? She also hesitated for less than two seconds, saying no, "I'm used to putting myself in the back of the comparison in front of anyone." 」

"When others are happy, I'm happy, too."

The little girl, who was looking forward to growing up from a very young age, had a lot of doubts and fears in her heart.

"If I had won, everyone would have been happy. I was surprised at that time. Later, a little grade, I will be very nervous, thinking that in case I do not play well next time, we will not think that the love is over? 」

She says she's played all these years to make people happy. At that time, looking to learn sisters are eight years older than their own ten years old, she was very nervous, began to do everything became afraid to do, dare not say, in the heart of countless small theater non-stop staged: "Can I really?" "Will I disappoint?" And, "Why am I different? 」

"For example, I used to live in Miyagi Prefecture, Sendai City, where no one knew me, but when I was ten years old I changed schools and on my way to school on my first day, I found people screaming and saying, "Wow, you're so big." I thought, I don't know them, why do they all know me? I feel afraid, and I have a lot of doubts. 」

No other life template can give her reference, no matter how the media reported her early, the youngest hand, the more light, she knows that she has to grit her teeth to face all kinds of strange road - no one is the same as me, at that time for her is not a sense of pride, but a kind of fear.

Photo: Fukuhara Love Offers

To cry, because the eye is a pearl.

To accept that she is "different" and to be able to take on what others expect of herself, she has gone a long way. And along the way the most no stranger to everyone, may be her tears. Whether it's winning, being nervous or having fun, there are never fewer moments when she wants to cry. Has been ridiculed by Japanese reporters, said the ball will be dehydrated, and some people will question, her appearance, is not enough on the sports field "professional"?

Because of knowing the fear of the heart, little love said she had a hobby before, is like to dress up beautifully on the scene: "like manicures, dyed hair, wearing necklaces, earrings, a bit like going to war, put on thick clothes, when attacked will not be afraid." This is the secret to her increased momentum, but also became the focus of comments: "Winning is good, but as long as a loss, will be said, "Have this time to dress up, it is better to take to practice the ball!" 』。 」

Too love to cry, but also love to make up their own, people say she can not so ah. She has also taken down hair pins on her head for this purpose, taking down the decorations, only to do what others expect.

In fact, it is also like each of our lives, some moments, before you really see the end, you have been afraid, and listen to other people's instructions, want to meet their expression.

But in the end you'll know that maybe all you need is time, and time will take you to see a better answer.

Speaking of which, she returned to tears. She said that tears this thing is like a cloud, crying, we can put the accumulated pressure out, and then you will see more clearly the sky in front of you: "Just like, with tears to wash what feeling." 」

"Actually, when I shed my first tear, I would tell myself, I lost. But crying is not fragile to me, because i want to be stronger when I'm done. 」

It seems to be an emotional, weak, or negative tear, but the weapon she uses to prepare for the challenges of the world; She often a person to hide and cry, tears like a secret in her heart, a whisper, is the way she used to understand herself more;

Out of this, I don't want to talk about it anymore.

So she finally chose to take her emotions back, and herself.

Facing the table tennis, she told herself that i would prove myself with my strength when I cried, and that I would be more confident when I came on stage with an earring necklace. On the other hand, she began to set psychological boundaries for her work and life. Because she knows that she does want everyone to be happy, but one person can never please everyone.

"I have an on/off switch on me, like when I get out of the stadium door, I don't think about table tennis. People around me will obviously feel when I'm playing and when I'm playing in private. 」

She has certain demands on her own on the court, such as playing too weak, soft can not win, so she is not very likely to contact with her family when she is playing, or she knows that she will care about winning or losing, lose will want to cry, sometimes may cry while caring about the results, but that is also the reality of her control of their emotions.

The difference is that as soon as she leaves the field and she returns to her private life, she won't care about anything to do with the game.

It's like saying, who's looking forward to me, and I admit that I'm responsible for those expectations, I care about them, I care if I let anyone down. But to spread the whole life, I can't let everyone never let themselves down.

So, I don't care who's in mind, but i can really have a time off, reserve your mind, and face the next on the field of play.

When Little Love said to me that she had never played a game for herself, I thought maybe anyone would be a little surprised as I did. Yet her tone was not slow, and there did not seem to be any complaints or complaints;

She wanted to say to all the girls with similar anxieties that she believed that everyone's birth must have a mission that belonged to that person. You were going on a different path for a different purpose. So "different" may be a good thing;

In the past 20 years for the satisfaction of others and strive to play on the scene of life, she did not deny themselves a single trace, she said very gently, if not that period of time, she would not know for one thing to stick to the results, or in the face of uneasiness, she can make herself such a strong person.

No life is the most right, and there is not only one way to be yourself; The template of life that she allows girls to start seeing is that, in the face of so much confusion or unkindness, she is genuinely afraid in the moment of crying, but in the end, you have the bottom and grow flowers.

Photo: Nishan Jixin Photography

What they taught me.

What can I do if I am a woman and feel self-doubt in the workplace?

1. You can't please everyone, set yourself an ON/OFF switch, separate work and life, can help you have a safe space to organize yourself.

2. Sometimes "different" is good, to believe that everyone has a mission to exist.

3. Tears do not mean vulnerability, everyone has their own way to relieve stress, the most important thing is to walk through emotional lows, dry tears, you have become a stronger person.