At home, we rarely talk about death or loss, but that's what everyone has to go through in their lives. Five drawings to help guide your child through the meaning of life and death, and to practice placing your emotions. In the process, as an old man, you can also be healed.
Artist Liu Zhen died on March 22. Since Liu Zhen went to hospital in early February to undergo aortic valve replacement surgery, the outside world has been in solidarity and prays that she will be able to tide over this difficult situation. Meanwhile, her husband, Xin Long, also wrote back and forth on Facebook:
"Liu Zhen needs everyone to help her through the great difficulties of life, I Xinlong is willing to use their own life for Liu real life, because the daughter is only four years old can have no father, but can not be without mother....
When I put the voice of my daughter recorded on my cell phone in her ear, i said, "Mommy gets better and take me to school!" Liu really shed tears... Afraid of her sad, I sing to her in her ear every day to listen to, comfort, encourage the snobbing we do not cry, we refuel! "For
I asked Ni Ni: Nini, after the early morning, why not sleep?
Ni Ni said: I first coax you to sleep, or you alone in the living room will be lonely...
My heart is broken! It's only 4 years old! Baby girl misses mom so much....
I don't say much about everything outside, but, seeing the child, I beg, I'm still begging, I pray and pray again. 」
Photo: Xinlong Facebook
Photo: Xinlong Facebook
He referred to his four-year-old daughter, also said, "I seem to give the impression that there is a strong appearance, but no one knows that I am so small, I love Liu Zhen, afraid of losing her." The true record is the fear of being a partner and a father, and how longing the other half will recover.
And after Liu really is not invincible, leaving the world, we pay attention to the children at home, how can we grow up on the one hand, while facing the loss of the mother's facts and possible shortcomings? "Death" may always be a relatively difficult topic in the family;
Through the drawing of this selection reading, want to step by step, to lead the child to understand their emotions, find a way to relieve. And this is not just a chance for the child, but for the whole family, your self:
One, "Let's cry first" "You can cry, but don't be too sad"
In the first time we lose, we feel unacceptable and sad. At this point, children may be relatively more difficult to deal with their emotions, and older people can guide them in a timely manner, so that they understand that they have these feelings is not surprising, and can be assured to express.
Mr. Nahida's work, "You can cry, but don't be too sad," chronicles the life words left for his grandson before his death. He wrote about the past memories of the past two people to make him feel happy, and not give up.
"You've been waiting as you used to,
I don't know yet that I'm gone.
If you knew, you'd probably cry all the time!
Tears were all over the face, and the cry in a whisper kept coming. 」
Speak to a helpless child in affectionate words, want to tell them, cry loudly, sadness is irrelevant, you don't have to be brave all the time. However, time heals many wounds, and because we have many good memories in the past, I hope that those strengths can continue to give you the courage to live your life after tears dry.
Mr. Nahida,""Can cry, but don't be too sad"
Ii, "Miss is OK, because there is love" "I miss you, Mom"
In the eyes of children, the loss of a family to them what they mean, what will be worry, fear, what kind of assistance will need? Rebecca. Cooper's work, "I Miss You, Mom," tells the story of a child's perspective, describing the confusion that comes with them:
"Not long ago, we said goodbye to mom.
I didn't know she was there.
I want to find her...
...... But only found a lot of her stuff.
Mother must have forgotten to take these things with her.
We brought her flowers...
...... But mom doesn't seem to have taken the flowers. 」
After understanding that waiting for no longer will respond, he went from doubt, anger, worry, to sadness, and later thoughts. In guiding children through these emotional processes, and with them through a loss of a loved one emotional change, so that they have a greater understanding between each other, and the possibility of helping each other. Through this story let the children understand, miss and sad, because there is love, and these love will not disappear, will continue to accompany you.
Rebecca. Cooper, Ake, "I miss you, Mom. "
"Understanding Death, Practicing Goodbye" "Dinosaurheaven on Heaven: The Best Guide to Understanding and Facing Death"
In addition to verbal comfort, we should take our children to understand what life and death are.
The birth of life to disappear, from the side of the pet, relatives to friends, is no more natural, but also everyone will face things sooner or later. But how do we talk to our children about it?
What is alive? Why do people die? Where will you go after death, what is the world like over there? Understanding the natural changes of life, "Dinosaurs on Heaven: The Best Guide to Understanding and Facing Death" has a good-natured plot. The book confronts, with a high affinity for cute dinosaur characters, talking to children about the fear, sadness, and curiosity behind death and guiding them on how to face those fears or doubts.
Death is irreversible, but we can, through more understanding, prepare for the psychological construction of our children, and cherish what we have today.
Lori. Krasni. Brown, Marco. Brown's "Dinosaur heaven: the best guide to understanding and facing death"
Four, "same life, learn soft" "as long as happy don't cry, can you?" 》
If, in the face of the process of death, the child feels puzzled, or thinks "why is it me" or "unfair", we can guide the thinking, different life experiences, behind it to bring you gifts.
"If there is no sadness in this world, can we still know what happiness is?" 」
"As long as you're happy don't cry, okay?" A book describes an otherwise peaceful village where a visitor named "Death" arrives one day. He was transformed into a gray, wrinkled man. As soon as he entered the village, he fell by accident; the villagers laughed because they had not seen anyone fall. Until they find out that a fall hurts their noses, knees, elbows, and blood drips from their bodies, they can't laugh anymore.
"Death" This visitor makes everyone understand the pain, creates empathy, and begins to comfort each other and bless each other. What this picture is intended to tell children is that everything has the life problem behind it, and what you go through will bring you more and become a better person. Have not lost, how to understand possession? Maybe you're not the one who's not.
Julke. Shubig, Hou Shuling translated "as long as happy don't cry, can you?" "
V. "Next, please live a good life" "After I leave"
After the family leaves, like the familiar life support system is missing a corner, we will always go through a period of pain. However, it is important to rebuild our lives, and it can help us through our grief, regain our motivation, and make this life and love meaningful.
"After I Left" is a mother's life guide to her daughter before she died, hoping to gradually guide her through the days of motherless. For example, "Cook a pot of curry to heal heartbreak," "Sing a song when you miss me," or "Remember to be nice to your body." The meaning of the book is also like telling you that even if my body is gone, but because you always remember my love, you will always have the ability to love and live.
Maybe I won't be able to accompany you through the rest of my life, I'll miss more important moments for you, but I know you'll do well. My baby.
Susie. Hopkins, Wu Yu-yi, "After I Left"
The topic of death is an important part of life, from emotion to emotional education, and more practical life, how to take good care of ourselves, these are what we can do for children. And while guiding your children, dear parents, this may also be a chance to heal. Cry well, admit missing, we are all like children in the face of love, and the love he leaves behind will let you grow up and continue to live bravely.