Interview xiaosheng, talk about becoming a father's suffering and frustration. When his wife's first birth check, he let her go alone, and in hindsight, he always felt sorry. He was afraid to accompany her because he was not confident of being a father. But before becoming a father, who was ready?
First look at the last article: interview with Xiaosheng: others call me a love mentor, but I will start writing, in fact, because of love less
Love experts/emotional writers, must be very talk ingress? This ancient problem, so far no one can completely answer. How do you know that marriage is not broken? And how to see through the love of people actually talked about the feelings of two defeats?
"Let's put it this add, I don't think I'm a love expert. DengTing, Xiaosheng a horse gun, I answer in front of this, defeat.
Xiaosheng, Tainan people, PTT account mrp, long-term active in the male and female version, with soft and logical writing by the people of the countryside. When he talks, he likes to structure a set of his own rules, 100 percent science and technology men. "Conclusion first, back, logically" in an hour-long interview, these words became the first of the most commonly heard sentences.
By the way, first of all, to the conclusion, Xiaosheng is not a love expert, he actually went through a bumpy groping road.
Of course I believe in the right people, otherwise They wouldn't be married.
Mr. mrp, who is now married, has a baby in his wife's belly. Asked if he believed there was a "right person" in the world, he smiled: "Of course there is ah, otherwise I would not get married, ha ha ha ha." 」
"I think the advantage of the bottle (The Little Son's wife) is that she is very positive, not that kind of direct marketing positive, but she doesn't think first, she will think about the way, she won't complain." Although sometimes she may be late or make-up for a long time, these small shortcomings can be tolerated relative to the advantages of getting along with her. The so-called right person, is to you, more advantages than disadvantages, you are willing to accept all her small shortcomings of the person. (Recommended reading: Interview with Xiaosheng: Others call me my love mentor, but I will start writing, in fact, because I lost love)
From love to marriage, it is necessary to take a little opportunity, the order of marriage with the bottle and the general people upside down, first to learn of pregnancy, and then plan to work together in life. "For me, it should be to love a person very much, willing to accompany him all his life, through all kinds of difficulties, so there will be this form of marriage." Instead of wanting to have someone to spend your life with him, go find someone to get married. 」
Science and technology men's view of marriage, companionship is the biggest focus, as for that marriage book contract, but to fulfill the companion ticket. "I'm a single-parent child, and I naturally feel that marriage doesn't seem like much need, because what I see is that marriage is also divorced. So I think i just have a loved one so enough, will not really yearn for family life. The reason why you will get married is to want to be old later can be honest to take care of this person. 」
In November 2019, Xiaosheng posted a photo of the child's ultrasound on Facebook, writing, "Remember the reply from four years ago, I answered the question: If someone asks me, why on earth would i want to have a baby?" If you find one of the most important of the thousands of reasons, I would say, "Gaze." Four years later, the moment I listened to my heart beat in a small dark room, I realized that it was not just the gaze, but the doom. That tenacious and firm heartbeat, like doomed. 」
Child, you are so tenacious to come here, is a kind of doomed.
The most important thing in feeling is respect and communication.
Return the time two or three years ago, back to the origin of Xiaosheng's acquaintance with the bottle. Bottle at that time lost love, friends want to send two people as a pile, called Xiaosheng accompany her, Xiaosheng thought, who want to accompany the unknown, loveless people to the mountains to feed mosquitoes ah, so the first time to meet, he lost his contract. The second reunion, perhaps the bottle still remember the last time the loss of contract, then a while late.
"In the bar, when the bottle appeared, I wanted to say, this girl is still pretty ah, and then aroused my desire to comfort her, hahahaha." The beginning of the story, who has no good impression of who. He thought that the people who lost their love had too many negative emotions to touch. She thought, love to find excuses for the people who lost their contract, can not touch. But the story always has a peak circuit, friends and constantly arrange party, they began to date, began to social.
However, operating feelings how easy to talk, the story after the exchange still want to continue to write, also experienced misunderstanding and run-in. "I think the most important thing in my feelings is respect and communication. The relationship is like a libra, so that the balance between the two sides is respect. No one is always particularly high on top, and no one should take it for granted. And when faced with challenges and difficulties, communication attitude and method is the most able to see whether the two people are suitable, whether they can go on the time.
Through misunderstanding and running, Xiaosheng and the bottle to the next stage of life. Just where to know, the sudden coming of small life, let two people caught off guard.
When my wife first went to the gynecology department, I didn't dare accompany her.
Even if Xiaosheng has written numerous replies, but that does not mean that when they really encounter, you can be more psychologicalpreparation.
The first time I felt something wasn't right, the bottle wanted to go to the obstetrics and gynecology check-up, and he didn't dare to accompany her. "I said I had a headache and I didn't feel well, and the first birth test let her go alone, but I was always sorry for her. The reason for not going, in fact, comes from the native family of xiaosheng.
"I kept asking myself if I could be a good father, and then Thought That I was a single parent, i was not so impressed with my father, I couldn't find a "good father" on my father, I was very shy, no self-confidence, also cried in the car for a while, and then the mood stabilized a little, before driving to the birth test." Talking about helpless past, hiding in the car crying small life, that moment is not a love expert, just a self-confidence of their own father-to-be.
Into the birth room photo superwave, the child has been someone type, "hear the heartbeat, touch, I thought, my God he really came." At that time and cried again, crying point is to think that this little child so insist on coming ah? Did he pick us? In fact, before this, the bottle would have done a general anaesthetic examination, so if not to do the birth test found pregnancy, the child may die in the body of general anaesthetic. He thought, a little later, will lose this child, does not mean that this child is in the middle of want to come to be our son. "Since you are so insistent, then I will meet, good company." 」
After each production inspection, Xiaosheng has never been absent.
He still carries uncertainty about "good dad", but because he holds his wife's hand, it seems to have the power to move on. "I think the meaning of the family is that they are two complete me, they let me see the other side I did not have. Now the day, light comfort. When he came home from work, he was happy to see that the bottle, which was not good at cooking, had cooked a table full of dishes. When he goes out to work and holds the bottle, he can feel the child kicking, proud and fulfilling.
"Now I feel that I work hard because I have a goal, I want to make them happier. My sense of accomplishment in life becomes more meaningful, it is a very "full" feeling, will feel that they do anything more meaningful, more complete. (Recommended reading: Dad parenting, not to be a superman dad, to participate in a child's life course)
In the face of all kinds of barriers in life, he was vulnerable, had been overwhelmed, and even escaped. But then found that this road is not alone, there are people can learn together, encourage each other, as if you can not be so overwhelmed. Perhaps the so-called "right people" are willing to practice for each other and move in the same direction together. After meeting each other, we are more and more for each other to adjust to the right look.
At the end of the interview, I asked Xiaosheng to describe love in one sentence, he put away the joke attitude, seriously stared, said:
Love, is in the constant miss and try, find a more complete self, and finally return to their own.
There are three tips for becoming a dad:
- In any case, to accompany his wife to do the birth inspection, to accompany his wife to do the birth inspection, to accompany his wife to do the birth inspection.
- In the relationship, the most important thing is to respect and communicate, do not respect communication, the rest of the talk.
- Don't be afraid that you don't have the experience, who is not a father only began to learn to be a father.