Luo Zhixiang and Zhou Yangqing's break-up incident, Dr. Deng Huiwen's anti-wind text caused internet controversy. What should we think of the cyber-trials and gender issues that followed these events?

Luo Zhixiang and Zhou Yangqing's break-up incident, the whole network boiling, set off the differences of opinion in the feminist circle, but also led to different comments and angles on the network.

Dr. Deng Huiwen, #逆風發文, posted on Facebook that "revenge for the love of the Internet public trial should not be relished" and referred to his concerns: "Don't wait for children to become lovers of terror and complain about what education is less." (Recommended reading:Gender Watch: Identifying the other person as a terrorist lover is not the only way to prevent murder)

To some extent, I can understand the concerns and appeals behind Deng Huiwen's comments on the Luo Zhixiang incident - how our generation views the intimate relationship of disillusionment; how to deal with a breakup; how to challenge the one-wife system, and how to see their own understanding of the betrayal of intimacy; how to become a screen-sweeping grandstand in the online world, when everyone buys a popcorn watch, realize the power of language, realize the power of ideology, how to express ourselves faithfully. , will become a very important subject - Deng Huiwen cares, how to avoid a personal break-up, will not become a collective violence.

At the same time, I would like to make a discussion, and I am well aware that such comments do not take into account gender and role differences, ignoring the indifference of gender power relations.

Unconditionally inclusive women, with a new man

When women are expected to be in the passive role of "unconditional inclusion" and "gentle empathy" in intimate relationships for years - almost every off-the-line press conference, with a woman who bursts into tears and decides to forgive; when men hide in the protective cover of "making a mistake that a man makes all day" - they choose to "change and become new" and return to family and relationships. Zhou Yangqing's appearance, in fact, points out that many women /personcan can no longer bear the fact, and even she has a stronger intention, is to avoid similar incidents repeatedly.

I also see that many people in such a discussion, in fact, think of their own traumatic experience. So, should such an appearance be called/understood as a terrorist lover?

When women are long-term asked to bypass their emotions, prioritize the overall peace, focus on the overall situation, and ignore their grievances and grievances, do we make it difficult for women to have other, more mental health options? Is it also disguised to support the unbreakable ness of the excuse to protect the shield? So if we want to educate our children, will this actually be a good educational scene?

If you can educate your child, tell him, especially the girl, that you need to start with "respect yourself and have emotions" to understand yourself - you can be angry, you can be angry, you can be angry, your feelings are important.

The greatest intention of respecting one's feelings is the real opportunity to deal with one's own internal conflicts, the opportunity not to follow the guidance of society, to disrupt the established gender order, to find a new possibility of interaction - a kind of encouragement of disclosure, discussion, encouragement of the future possibilities of building. (Extended reading: Whether or not there has been anything wrong, say sorry first"Why, ten years later, women are still apologizing to society? ) )

Photo by sankavi on Unsplash

Cyberbullying Now: The fastest way to hurt a woman is to sexually humiliate her

When Dr. Deng sent out the post, causing echoes and comments from different angles, some appreciated such an interpretation, that it was a part of the parents' thinking, some from a feminist standpoint, proposed a new discussion space, some of them alleged that "she had had emotional problems, so she was not qualified to comment", followed, in the PPT environment, some people began to expose her past private photos, some people lined up to ask for a car.

We can't help but talk about the "qualification theory" of the current network for comments, digging out the "black history" of speakers, its moral review, the violence of resorting to group attacks, which are taking place. There are, of course, gender issues.

We will see clearly that the fastest way for a society today to harm a woman is to sexually humiliate her, to make her naked, to censor her morally, to spread it out with relish, and to shut her up forever.

Please do not join such an accomplice structure. Don't agree with the speech then discuss, to develop a better space and solution, but never on the basis of malicious harm. Because that hurt, like a bad low-level chain letter, one day, will come back to us.

If you can educate your child, remember to tell him - tell him about the dangers of a single value/narrative.

"When we resist a single story, when we understand that there is no single story anywhere in the world, we regain our hearts," said Chimamanda Adichie, a Nigerian author. Only a single story is allowed, only one truth is allowed, often behind an unbalanced power relationship.

In fact, whether it is the wind and the headwinds, some people discuss, some people attach importance, some people to broaden the view of a thing of the various orientations and dimensions, some people blow different wind direction, as long as not based on malicious harm, is basically a good thing.

The sea moss bear said more gently: "In the face of news events, more important than gossip, what disturbs what is inside us." When you look at such news discussions, if you feel hurt, give priority to your mood and state, and take care of your inner flame.

Photo: Sea Moss Bear Facebook

It's a good collective experience of society - we're in the vortex and core of violence, and if you can, take a look at yourself first and get back to the center of gravity of your life; and try to remind and distinguish in every discussion, disagree with a person's remarks, or want to discuss a person's speech, without links to personal attacks, without a qualification and moral trial.

Each of us, who can help end the cyber bullying that we can't and don't have to endure, can build a better discussion space and contribute to this era, and that's what we want to expand, the true meaning of multi-integration. (Recommended reading:D-I Multi-Integration)