Faced with the burning of both work and life, senior publicist Ding Lingxuan said in the "Women's Talk Room": "I must finish myself before I can afford to take care of my family." 」

Society often makes us feel that being a mother is bound to lose something: if you enjoy the sense of accomplishment that your job brings, you have to miss out on the time when your child grows up; So before you have a baby, you always have to make a choice.

But why, life and family can only be a choice question?

Senior publicist Ding Lingxuan in the 30s or so choose to start a business, for her life and work she wants to balance, and at this time, she thinks the focus is on how you do time management, as a smart arranger.

Create a tight family support network

Ding knew that choosing to start a business meant that work would take up most of her time, so she began to build the so-called "fulcrum of love". The fulcrum of love may be your partner, brothers and sisters, relatives and friends, neighbors, parents of children' classmates, etc., if your child has homework in school to take care of, and you are busy because of your work, you can seek these love fulcrum, and they will form a strong support network.

It takes a village to raise a child. To raise a child, you need the strength of the whole village.

When you grow up, you're not just a mom, your partner is a part of it, and both parents and peers can be a force.

Time is not the only gift you can give your child.

Many people feel guilty about missing out on their children's upbringing, and she admits that she felt guilty for some time, which is what mothers often feel. Ding said that when she started a business, she encountered the lack of time allocated to the family situation, but she clearly know: if you do not do a good job, there is no way to complete their own; So she lets her child know, "Mom may not be able to spend as much time with you as other moms do, but at important moments, moms will not be absent." 」

I have to finish myself before I can take care of my family, Ding Lingxuan.

To this end, Ding also said that the way to express love is not only "take time to accompany" one, simple letters, a phone call, a film, is a kind of love. When a child is studying abroad, she uses all kinds of tools to express her concern for the child. Once she asked her child if she would complain that her mother didn't spend much time with you when she was young, the child told her, "You're there with me when my life is important, like my graduation, when I've won a prize, or even when I'm in love." 」

This makes Ding Lingxuan realize that the time spent with the child, not necessarily the best for the child, we all have to let go of these self-blame and guilt, understand the way to express love there are many, and we try to express, try to care, the child will understand.

From the inside out, girls should take care of their needs

In 2020, women's fans in the "Women's Power Survey" found that nearly four in ten women believe that there is no sense of achievement in the workplace, in part because of their habitual modesty or retreat. And in the face of women's low sense of value, Ding also encouraged all women, more care about their inner feelings and needs, rather than trying to become the eyes of others look forward to a good mother, good daughter: "the most important thing is to change the outside introspection, good to ask themselves, what you want." (Extended reading:What do women think of themselves in 2020?) Women's Force Survey: Nearly 40% of Women in the Workplace Do Not Have a Sense of Achievement)

Do not wrong themselves, do not seek their own, we should practice putting themselves first, brave to fight for the desired time and space, then we are on the road to love their own.