International Day of No Child Fights Vice President Chen Jianren: Only when we stop corporal punishment will we have a chance to see the difficulties children face

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Because the child is naughty, does not meet your expectations, or did something that makes you feel wrong, a moment of anger, you can not help him corporal punishment?

The International Day against Beating Children on April 30 was launched in 1998 by the Center for Effective Correctional Center, an anti-corporal punishment organization in the United States. They call this day "SpankOut Day" and invite parents to try not to hit children, "at least not on this day, and maybe you'll find that you don't need to fight every day in the future." 」

On this day in 2020, Vice President Chen Jianren responded on Facebook, saying that "the most important thing for healthy and happy growth is love, love is tolerance of everything, trust in everything, hope for everything, patience of everything!" Love makes the world a better and more harmonious place! A year ago, he went back to his childhood, saying:

"In the process of growing up, I was never beaten by my parents, and I never saw them physically punish children,......, high school, my grades were much better than my brother's, but my father replied to my friends that Arjen and Ade were just as good. At that time, I heard the heart a little is not taste. In hindsight, my brother and I both won the Central Academy of Studies at the age of 47. 」

"In fact, every child has a special temperament. When these natural special temperament can be well cared for, appreciated, these natural temperament can play, the child can develop into their own appearance. And because children grow up being understood, tolerant, and gentle, they are, naturally, more able to treat others gently. 」

"Only when we decide not to "fight" the child's problems will we have the opportunity to re-examine the difficulties we have encountered with our children. 」

In response, the Ministry of Health and Welfare has also issued a series of "positive parenting" methods to remind parents to replace corporal punishment of children from "respect" and "empathy":

One, children rob toys, don't just say big to let small

"You're big to make small!!!!! 」
"Lose all the toys again!!!!!! 」

It is a very common phenomenon for children to grab toys, and it is also a good opportunity to train children to learn to deal with emotions. Hand and footy, not taken for granted, but sharing is a lifetime of homework. Parents should have the idea that children are equal, always ask for comity, may be less sofe for fear of being deprived, or because they can't decide, and everything seems to be indifferent, should respect the child's wishes. Return the responsibility of communication and coordination to the child, and the person will observe it by the side to ensure safety.

Not recommended practices

1. Loudly reprimand, threaten to throw away

2. Big to make a small, big brother or sister bad

3. Tell the loser to buy a better toy for him

4. Threaten to throw away the toys and don't play when they make any noise

You can do that.

1. Explain to your brother/sister softly that "Although you want to play, but..." let the child feel the understanding and support of the parents

2. When your brother/sister is a little calm, grab other toys to attract them

3. Explain the reason for the brother/sister to your brother/sister, and cultivate his empathy

The child loses his temper, don't just be more fierce than him.

When your child loses his temper, share your child's emotions and help him to discuss the cause of his anger. If adults intimidate or punish, it will not only do nothing, but also cast a shadow over the child. It is recommended that parents can be named once and for reasons, children will become more aware of their current state, and can use words to express, understand the source of emotions, after the day can effectively control the mood.

This is not recommended

1. More ferocious than him

2. I'm spleened and he's told to go to the station

3. Throw it to the teacher to teach

You can do that.

1. In the present, parents need to remain calm (deep breath deep breath deep breath) and recognize the child's current mood

2. Help your child connect "causes" with "emotions" and co-emrate your child's emotions, such as: I know you can't drink because you can't eat, so you're angry

3. After the emotional venting, then discuss with your child solutions, such as: if thirsty you can drink water first, or there are 5 mouthfuls of rice left, after eating can drink a drink

Children have their own growth progress, avoid humiliating comparison

"The grandson of my three uncles' cousin's cousins will be reciting Tang poetry when he was two years old..."

"Your child, how can you just say some basic vocabulary..."

Weifu department said that many people like to compare the development of children, but in fact, each child has its own growth progress, even the development of advanced children, may not be able to continue to be praised and the pressure. A humiliating comparison will destroy the child's confidence.

Conversely, if we can observe that the child is actually developing slowly in certain orientations, we can add relevant competency exercises to the game or activity, let the child enjoy the process of the game, but also get a sense of accomplishment. If it is found that the child does have slow development, can be taken to the hospital as soon as possible for consultation and evaluation, according to the needs of the child to accept different professional treatment intervention.

Inappropriate remarks:

"Big chicken squealing late, don't worry about yourself!" 』
"Parents and parents when they were young, they talked very late, and then it was good, it's okay!" 』
"Mom and Dad don't teach?" Or is it undernourished? 』
How old are you? None of this? That's stupid! 』

The right thing to do:

1. Outsiders gushing, carers politely stop, casually leaving

2. If your child's orientation is really slow, you can join the relevant ability exercises in games or activities, learn to play, get a sense of accomplishment, for example, the caregiver accompanies the child to read the story book, guide the child to tell the story himself

3. If it is found that the child does have slow development, it should be taken to the hospital as early as possible for consultation and evaluation, according to the needs of the child to receive different professional treatment intervention

Four, put down the surface etiquette myth, do not say hello, does not mean not polite

???Your kids don't cry when they see them,??? 」
"It's rude enough!" 」

Is it polite not to say hello? The Ministry encourages caregivers to try to put down the superficial etiquette myth, to further concourse the child's nervous feelings, and to respect the child's wishes, timely guidance, demonstration, encouragement, in order to accumulate positive experience, to win the child's true trust.

At the same time, this matter is not only the carer's homework, other relatives and friends should pay attention to, do not give the child to label rude, resulting in parents and children's pressure!

This is not recommended

1. Penalties without greeting

2. Tell him not to say hello is an impolite child

3. Tell a child not to say hello to stay in someone else's house as another child, to keep alone

It's not bad.

1. Advance and child preview party content and participating members

2. Take the initiative to introduce the participants with the child, the child is still not out, the parents can help say "he is not ready today"

3. Leaving the party when the child is already familiar with the environment, is a good opportunity for children to practice greeting "to say goodbye to aunt / uncle ready to go home"

4. Parents live in peacetime, can demonstrate the initiative to say hello to others, let the child learn

5. Children's behavior is dangerous, don't just shout "no"

Your child's self-discipline will really start to build up at about 18 months, and will gradually stabilize after the age of 3, so it is normal for your child to understand "no way / can't touch" 18 months ago but not. Parents can avoid the opportunity for their children to be alone or to be exposed to dangerous sources, and through constant prompts and norms, let their children feel the parents' position and learn from them.

This is not recommended

1. Touch the kettle or anything you can't touch, and pinch them

2. Let them burn once to know you can't touch it

3. Shout "No"

4. Lock up and punish

It's great.

1. If the child is given dangerous goods or to an unsafe place, the caregiver needs to remove the item "moderately and firmly" or take it away without the need for particularly loud movements or sounds

2. Make good use of your baby's attention-prone features and use other things to attract his attention

3. Clearly "specific" for the child's code of conduct, such as "go out to go, hand in hand with parents, see want to see, first talk to parents to see", rather than say "go out to be good", the child does not understand the specific behavior of good

Finally, all caregivers are invited, not only in the international day do not play children this day to pay attention to the practice of zero corporal punishment;