"When she was first, I could only cry over the phone" interview with Miao: I missed most of the important moments in my daughter's life

Miao Keli as an actor, may be the relationship between the image, the role of the past, mostly full of air, strong and resilient. During the interview, she also repeatedly exudes this temperament. until we started talking about her daughter.

Because the working relationship has long been in the north, as a single mother, she can not take good care of the children, so the daughter from an early age in Taichung mother parents. The two were separated for more than a decade, and this year her daughter was coming of age, and she looked back to find that she had missed many important moments in her child's life.

She was red-eyed and spoke of the memory that made her heart cut like a knife. (Interview: Interview with Miao Kori: "You have to be very confident that you are worth having, and you already have it"

After the first time, her daughter panicked on the phone, turned her head and immediately broke down in tears.

"We didn't live together for a long time, and she didn't complain about it. It wasn't until i took her to a show and the production unit asked her to write me a letter that I saw it and broke down. It said, 'I remember you said you were going to bring me up, and it didn't happen, and then you said high school was going to bring me up, but you didn't.' 』」

In a blink of an eye, the daughter grew to eighteen years old, had several promises, with time busy to be squeezed, not forgotten, just no way. And those guilty or disappointed, so accompany each other to live or grow up: "That moment I suddenly know that you are not not concerned, nor forget, you just do not want to let me worry." 」

Sometimes look back, just know it's been so long.

"I remember one night in the middle of the night, my sister sent me some pictures of the child, I originally only feel familiar, want to say who this child is, and then came to realize that it was my daughter. I cried, and I found that when she was growing up, there were so many parts of me that I wasn't involved in. 」

"Then the day she first came, when she called me, people hid in the toilet and said, "Mom, can I ask you something?" My trousers are red. I said, "You're menstruation coming!" Is there anyone next to you? Where's Ao? Hurry up and ask her to take the tampon to you', and then tell her how to use it. Hanging up the phone, she turned her head and shed tears, she said how helpless her daughter should have been, but at this time, I was not around her.

Later, of course, there are many, graduation ceremony, school start, count up, have become the mother's heart. At that time, the eight-point play bet, is the continuous non-stop work pace, sometimes she and her daughter to see more than half a year to see each other, the longest return to Taichung in a year is to stay in the New Year for three days a week, can really get along with the day is poor.

These days, they often experience farewell scenes.

"Sometimes she comes to Taipei, I take her to a car, I know we are two separate moments are very sad, but she will say, "Wow, very soon, next week can meet again", but as soon as she turned away, I cried. 」

"But I'm also glad that she's usually as strong as she seems to have nothing to do with it, but when she needs love most, it's her mother who thinks about it." 」

Gently, far away, put each other in the chest position, as if those years, they guard each other's way.

Want to say something to you, thank her so strong all the way

This year the daughter is ready to go abroad to study, to a person to take a dozen hours of flight to the United States, but Sister Li originally because of work can not go, but think of missing her daughter's life many, she was hearty, booked a plane ticket, decided to accompany her to this trip.

"You know what? Fortunately, I went, and throughout the process, I found out that she was really not what I thought she was, she was not a child anymore. Along the way she was taking care of me, for example, I never knew how good she was in English, only then to know that she was so good. 」

Now Sister Cani's work is still busy, but as long as caught time, she will run back to Taiwan to see her daughter. She said she had missed too much, turned heads and wondered how long she would be with her: "Now that my parents are sick, she will help take care of my parents." I always feel that sometimes too used to things, we will not cherish, as if it should be there. But nothing will ever be there. 」

It is often said that we should cherish the present, but what is the present? "It's over, a second is over." 」

Speaking of which, she chatted once that she had a hypnotherapist treatment,

"When I got to the last moment of a lifetime, hypnotic lying to me, are you now in the right place?" I said I was lying in bed.

And then what? Is there anyone next to me? 』

There is a man. He felt very sad. 』

"So do you have something to say to him?" 』

As soon as the hypnotist finished this sentence, I shed tears. I said, I think I spend too little time with him. 」

And on the night of that treatment, Sister Li opened her eyes to me and said, "It's wonderful that my daughter rarely said love before, but that day she called me, spoke for a long time, and before hanging up, she actually said "I love you". 」

At the same time, we breathe deeply and imagine some of the past, present, and future relationships: Einstein said that the past, the present, the future exist at the same time, you can heal the past in the present, and you can change the future in the present. I couldn't understand it before, but that time I felt like I might be in hypnosis, saying these words to my daughter in the past and changing my relationship with my daughter. 」

And I always feel like, in the face of some life regrets, we need a reconciliation with ourselves. When the mother slowly relieved the inner guilt, she can finally be more frank, to give and accept more love.

No one ever said to me, do what you want to do.

Perhaps also because of the distance, time to get along is very little relationship, but Sister Li now talk about her daughter's expectations, she said there is no so-called "expectation";

"Because no one has said these things to me before, I was very lacking in support for me when I was a little bit." 」

"And you think, what a kid wants to do, and it's no use stopping him. Instead, as soon as you object, he steals it from you. My friend and sister-in-law, I want her to come and talk to me, and I want her to know that there are many things you don't have to hide from me. But she turned her head and said, in fact, this is also her careful machine, "I want her to know, you must tell me." 」

From want to learn what talent, where to study, to the future there may be contacts, for Sister Carey, as long as economic conditions allow, she will let the child try: "She wants to learn what musical instruments, learn for a few months to say do not like, my parents said, tiger tail, no perseverance, but I think, I am now fifty years old, I may not be sure what I want in this life; 」

"You won't let her go, and when she grows up one day, she'll come back and complain about you." Is it better? 」

She never told her daughter, "No," "No," "No," or "Impossible." As a mother, she says, she is more of a companion than a character who dominates her daughter's life: "She should be who she is, not who I want to be." 」

She said, "Boy, don't let anyone tell you how you can and can't." Whatever you want to do, go ahead, and I will try my best to support you.

I think of what she said, feel that home is so, it is not to protect you all the way, said to avoid you hurt, but in fact invisibly gave you more restrictions;

In this home, we will have a time to let each other down, let each other hurt, but the resilience of the home, but also let adults and children, no matter how long after, can have the opportunity to practice love to be a better person.

Finally, she also had something to say to her daughter: