Choose a book for you and read "All Li Yali" today. Dating violence is common in modern times, and invite you to share the issue with us and care about the "Lialia" next to her.
Hey, the woman fan editor picks the book for you.
I'd like to share it with you today, just published in May 2020, "All Are Li's Mary."
If "82-year-old Jin Zhiying" is about the plight of women in the environment, "To Xiannango" is about love in the name of emotional extortion, then "All Are Li Yali" brings us to focus on dating violence, see the victims behind those subtle difficulties and pain.
Who is the big "Li Yali" on the seal of the book?
She's the average person you might have passed on on the road, a victim of dating violence, and she's the author of the book - the painting, all she's personally experienced.
And because dating violence, in fact, very ordinary very common very common, talk about this topic is particularly important.
- "All Lee" "Say Love Me First, Then Violence Against Me" Korean Dating Violence Episode
- The mother of my boyfriend, "All Lee," said to me, he's going to be beaten because you're too strong.
Photo: "All Li's"
What are the types of dating violence?
When it comes to dating violence (intimate violence), most people think of physical violence first, but in fact there are many forms of violence, which can be called violence if it causes physical or mental suffering to the victim.
Intimate violence
Physical, mental or financial harassment, control, coercion or other unlawful abuse by a partner who has been or has had an intimate relationship. It can be broadly divided into the following: physical violence, verbal violence, psychological violence, manipulation of violence, sexual violence.
In the book, Li Aly experienced a variety of violent, such as: restrictions on movement, emotional violence, physical violence and sexual violence and so on.
I. Restricting movement
He cleaned up the people around me.
If it's a boy, delete or block the other person's phone number.
Girls are no exception. He doesn't let me see friends who love nightclubs or drink.
He controlled my relationships, my whereabouts, everything.
He said, "Love."
"I love to be jealous. And Aryi's boyfriend said.
It's very common to limit you because you care. The other person may try to get you and other friends out of line, or take away your freedom to dress and stuff you into his ideal frame. The more your life begins to center on him, the longer you find yourself in a state of inability to escape, but it's too late.
Second, emotional violence
He came to my house as soon as he finished his inquest.
Clearly I was the victim, crying and threatening that I would leave the case behind is him.
"I've been left out of my life. I'm really afraid of what other people think of me? Leave a lifetime of case stain, you are responsible? How does it feel to kill your boyfriend and become a criminal? Are you happy? 」
Facing her boyfriend's straight-up questioning, Arya couldn't help but wonder: Did she go too far? Did I cause all this?
Physical violence
Whenever I think of the fact that he beat me in love, my world will collapse.
After her boyfriend always commits violence, she begs for Ellie's forgiveness. Formed a painful cycle, and Aryi herself could not get around.
At first it was verbal abuse, bad words, then smashing things and messing up the whole room; then pinching her neck, killing her, and finally, her boyfriend slapping Yali several times.
Gentle boyfriend, cruel and violent man, is it really the same person? Arya asked herself, but there was no answer.
Sexual violence
I may or'dn't want intimate contact. You don't have to deal with one person, you have to accept everything, does it?
After entering the public toilet that day, Aryi found her boyfriend sneaking in and starting to touch her body. She didn't like it, so she escaped instinctively, but was caught by her boyfriend and reprimanded.
"Do you have any trauma?" How did you shake it like this? I like you will be like that! If you hate it, you won't touch you! My woman, can't I touch it? 」
Picture . . . Source
Dating violence is not love, it's a crime.
"All Are Li's" is taken from the author's real experience. Although it is a simple illustration, but heavy to make people breathless, I first read, also shed tears several times.
It originally resonated with 2 million people when it was serialized on the Korean website. And in the book, but also interspersed with the reader echo, from these real messages, we will be shocked to find that so many people are also in the pain of dating violence.
I'm a victim of dating violence. And maybe I'm someone around you.
Kim Do-hyun, director of the Korea Dating Violence Institute, points out that many dating violence is carried out "backandly and implicitly" and that the image of the perpetrator is often very different from that of the victim and therefore less likely to be discovered by others.
"Dating violence is a step-by-step aggravation, and the perpetrator waits until the other person has completely fallen into a trap before taking off his mask, so when it is clearly aware of the violence, the victim is often already trapped in a sense of powerlessness and despair that can't be escaped." 」
How do you know yourself or your friends, are you getting caught up in dating violence?
"All Are Li's" book ends with a self-check, a type of restriction of movement in the early stages of dating violence, and you can try to answer as you think.
If you find yourself in an unhealthy relationship, try leaving or asking for help from friends and family around you, or if you are in serious condition or you are overwhelmed, call 110 or 113 for professional assistance.
- He'll limit my dress, no matter what I think?
- Will he check my phone, email, personal blog or community software at any time?
- Does he restrict me from community events or parties?
- Even if he knows that I am not convenient to contact at the moment, he will continue to find a way to find me?
- He's going to control and interfere with my schedule?
- He won't let me see friends, keep me away from friends and relatives?
- He's always trying to make sure i'm with whom I am now.
- Even if I refuse, will he force me to do what he wants to do?
- If I do things that don't go his way, won't he let me do it?
- He keeps suspecting that I'm meeting other heterosexuals?
Dating violence is not love, it's a crime.
If you're hurt in this relationship, you need to know that you've done nothing wrong, so don't question yourself. Such a wonderful you, of course, is worth a better relationship.
The story of Arya lee is not someone else's business, and all the things he went through could happen to anyone.
He exists by you and, if you find it, remember to give him support and love.