Interview with Yu Kailian next article, she talked about family together, talk about parenting, but also talk about husband and wife get along, she said if you can, want to create a woman not afraid to have children environment.
(Top: Interview with Kailian Yu: Be a leader, be real)
Yu Kailian, 55, is the managing director of Verizon Media International, in charge of other global market operations outside the U.S.-Canada market, she is also a mother of two children, this year her daughter first entered the workplace, she entered the industry for nearly 30 years, she smiled and said that her daughter
In the second half of the interview, the conversation opens up about being a mother - to be honest, too few high-ranking female managers in the workplace are willing to talk about it all, how to keep their time in the workplace and at home, how to spend time with their partners( wetime), about the occasional sense of guilt as a mother, about whether women have anything other than "must choose/sacrifice."
'Yes, it's true that 24 hours a day, there's no way to spend time with your child, but she'd prefer the child to feel that it's the mother's constant love,' she said.
I want to create an environment where I'm not afraid to have children.
We talk about many women in modern times, who are afraid of having children.
Yu Kailian nodded, "I know a lot of people think of having children, think of in fact, the birth of children to me personally did not add points, or think of all are sacrifices." 」
"But what I want to say is that being a mom was the best decision of my life," she said. Seriously, I doubt it, really? Why would I give up so much freedom? "Being a mom, I know how much I've learned because I'm a mom and I know I can be a better leader." 」
She remarried at the age of 40 and had children at the age of 41, within the plan. "I had a bit of a traditional idea at the time and thought, "Am I over the age of birth?" and I was lucky to have a very smooth production process. She says she sees a lot of good women who are afraid of having children, who are afraid of being deprived, who are afraid of losing their freedom, like seeing themselves.
"I was thinking, how to create an environment that is not afraid to have children, not to worry about facing the family and career "two choice one" environment, my God, two choice one is really too old-fashioned, right." Times are changing fast, says Ms. Yu, the CEO of Verizon Media is only 39 years old, and the future world is like this, where the younger generation is in power, and we have to answer an important question together - how to support a person and make work a rich and important part of his life, not eat up all of his life.
It's about how to make women who want to have a family and have children no longer afraid. She's right, "I don't think everyone has to get married and have children, or that having children is a complete female experience, it's not like that, it's a beautiful experience if you have the opportunity." 」
Ask her what it's like to be a mom, and she says it's hard to describe, probably like an epiphany, "When you do, you know you're completely different" (When you are, you know your life is completely different), she says she has a colleague, is also a complete control freak at work, has a baby, sees the child melt in the second," she told me. It's different from the point where you have a baby. 」
Perhaps also like this, the birth of a new life, both life, but also with the transformation.
My daughter told me, Mom, don't work so hard.
Yu Kailian had to answer the question, so we asked another classic question. Have many working mothers ever felt "guilty" about their family or children because of their busy careers? What do you think of this feeling of guilt? (Extended reading:Ding Lingxuan column: Make yourself happy is not a sin!) Refuse to be the perfect superwoman)
"I know I can't be a stay-at-home mom, and if I'm asked, I'm not going to feel guilty, and to be honest, I will, really will." For example, my family found an aunt to cook, aunt will take such a picture to me - a child at the table, a person eating, I see, of course, there is pain. Her tone was a little sour, "But what I actually believe is that as long as I really love him, my child can be a very healthy child." 」
She often wonders, what is my child's most vivid memory of his mother? "I'll always wonder how I can provide warm memories to my children. For example, pull them, hug them, and let the child know in my way that I love him. 」
When the mother is constant practice, she initially looked at the child's homework almost crazy, desperately want to give advice and solutions, "I would like to say, above is not the past has been learned, the following also want to remember ah." It turned out that I had become a nasty mother. I just think there's something that has to be let go. Later, she positioned herself as someone who looked for resources for her children, without evaluation, to accompany them to study, to experience, to create.
Son like animation, she will find experts around to chat with the children, "children have what want to understand, we will keep open, give them resources." On Mother's Day this year, she received a card from her daughter that read simply, "Mommy, you're doing great, don't work so hard." 」
Paper short, big is to say, Mom, you have been very good, you gave us a loving environment, and in love, people are not afraid.
My time, our time metime and wetime.
Do you work hard and enjoy being a mom, do you have your own time? Rose confessed that he had not had enough time. Usually in the morning, in the name of walking the dog, get along with yourself, walk along the community, power walk, a little slope, a little wheezing leisure time, let her enjoy, ah, even metime have the suspicion of workout.
In addition to her time, she says, couples also need time that belongs to two people. She gave an example, last week's husband's birthday, she asked for a day off, two people had a normal day: shopping coffee shop, playing ball, from Jianguo South Road all the way to Zhongshan North Road, only to find that the original two people never walked through these alleys together, super fun. "We all really need our own time and don't need to have so many meetings. She smiled.
Couples have good feelings, about the operation of marriage, there is no experience to share?
She laughed and said that she was a very anxious person, there is no conflict, often conflict ah. Will disagree, will also be because think that the other side did not understand, and the voice is loud, will be, very normal.
"The Bible says, "Don't be angry until sunset, we're all Christians, and sometimes things don't go well, and the best way we want to reconcile is to pray together." Sometimes it is, trying to convince each other, is no nough, it is better to rely on a common belief, "usually after prayer, we are at least 80% angry, you will reflect that you must have a problem." People in disputes and pressure, it is easy to see other people's problems, but this quiet process, will soon see that the only thing I can control and change is myself. 」
Very practical, if there are common values, will also practice is not always picking each other's problems. 'It's also important to have other partners and friends, to exchange with each other, to have life experiences, we're all practicing, how to be a better member of a family, ' she said.
Life is so wonderful that I can't help him decide.
"Your children are not yours, they are the children of life, and they are the desire of life itself. They were born of you, but not from you, they are with you, but they do not belong to you. You can give them love, but don't give them your thoughts too, because they have their own thoughts. Jiberon, "The Child"
Yu Kailian said, he often prayed to God, said this child is yours, he is not surroging, I think of Jiberon.
"If we take a step back and look back, life is really not a middle school, high school, college where to decide, life is very long, very rich, to a certain age to look back, in fact, but it is a process." She says she is increasingly focused on the values given to her children, "and I want my children to believe that their parents will support him in any situation." And life is so long, one day, parents can only support to one place. No excuse, she said with a smile, because "life is so wonderful, I certainly can't help him decide." 」
So the pressure of parents, said Yu Kailian, the standard should not be set so high, and not in the movie, "how to share the work of two people, how to take care of children, is an important bilateral issue, but also a common effort." This process often has the feeling of candle burning, so, remember to give yourself a little more certainty, less pressure, once the vision is negative, see is a problem, will drive themselves crazy. 」
You've done a good job, so remember to pat yourself on the shoulder and touch your head.
The best thing in life, she says, is you know.
Yes, You never know, seriously, life is really not climbing stairs, not only linear climb up or down, life has a choice, said Yu Kailian.