Good night story: How do I let you know that you don't have to get better, someone will love you

Good night, shall we have a chat before we go to bed?

Recently, a girl lost her life. Like many of the stories we've heard, she's in a mess of grief and anxiety. Sometimes she felt as if she was falling apart, as if she could never be complete again, and sometimes she would suddenly get anxious and try desperately to figure out why the relationship was over.

She was desperately reviewing herself.

"Why did he leave me?" 」
"It's supposed to be me who's not good enough, right?" 」
"Then I'll have to make a good change for myself!" 」
"Strange, I've tried so hard, but why didn't he come back?" 」
"Is that why am I not good enough?" 」

In this way, she entered a cycle of no answers. Her head couldn't stop, and the separation anxiety of lost love tormented her, and she wanted to find some answers so that she could stop losing control of her life. However, she was unwittingly trapped in place and could not move forward; she could neither believe that she would meet a better person nor escape from the trauma of the breakup.

Her behavior in the eyes of others may have a lot of confusion, clearly that is not suitable for your relationship, why do you so persistent? What few see, however, is that the break-up is not just the end of emotion, but also a profound evokes the pain of her abandonment.

Looking back back at her relationship with the past, she will know that she will always be unconscious to reduce her sense of presence, to please the other person or to cooperate, in order not to allow the person to one day have a chance to leave her for any reason. And that doesn't mean she's like an idiot in her relationship, doesn't know the truth about investment pay, her delicateness and sensitivity have long made her a smart girl; she's always got one thing - she wants to prove that she can finally get the love she wants from those who hurt her. (Extended Reading: Ruminating Negative Emotions, Rebounding Love, Need ingestive Healing: Confessions of Anxious Dependents)

Photo " Mom, will you always love me?" Inside page

To your bedside story: You don't have to get better to be loved

One day, a little bear in play accidentally broke the coat, he thought, mother will be very angry. He then walked up to his mother and said, "I'm sorry, do you still love me?" 」

Mother replied, "Of course I love you, how can I not love you because of this?" 」

Then his mother began to sew up his clothes, he still felt very upset, and asked her mother, "If I break all my clothes, you will still love me?" 」

My mother said, "I'll be angry, but I'll love you the same way." 」

The bear couldn't help but ask, "If I'm naughty, jumping around in bed, jumping out of bed, making a mess of the house, will you still love me?" 」

Mom said, "I'll be angry and sad, and I'll try to stop you." But I will still love you. 」

The bear thought about it and said, "What if one day I become big and ugly and full of bugs?" Then the mother hesitated, the bear immediately said, "Look! One day, you will not love me! 」

But the mother said softly, "Absolutely not, you are my child, I will always love you, this will not change." 」

" Mom, will you love me forever?" 》

Photo " Mom, will you always love me?" Inside page

Photo " Mom, will you always love me?" Inside page

Photo " Mom, will you always love me?" Inside page

Today, I want to 唸 lost girl's book, is "Yeah, will you always love me?" 》。 The story of the bear seems naive, but also a bit wayward, want to repeatedly confirm the mother's feelings, in fact, also want to confirm that they are safe. It's really our desire not to change no matter how big we are - you want to know that there is someone in the world who loves you just because you are you.

You're always feeling anxious and upset in your relationship, perhaps because you didn't get the sense of security you wanted when you were growing up. At that time, the big people make you feel that love was conditional, for example, you will get more attention today for what you did right, and you will lose the love you once loved because of what you messed up. (Extended Reading: Insecure? Identify 25 States of Anxiety Dependency)

So you start to get used to acting, and you'll challenge your partner without feeling like you're approaching that, because you'll want to prove that you can get love this time by getting close to the person who hurts you again. And after this pattern has been repeated a few times, you'll start to lose faith in yourself - am I just worth being treated like this?

However, when you start thinking like this, tell yourself to stop first. In fact, because you are naturally sensitive, so that you have a stronger desire to survive and introspection ability; perhaps you will meet similar people again, but this may also be your shallow consciousness is guiding you, you are stronger than the last time, you have begun to be able to cope with such a relationship.

It doesn't matter if we take it slow. Like the bear endless questions, again and again, you will begin to be patient with your life, you will grow stronger love, you will know that you are precious people, you will wait to return to their own.

If you accidentally start to doubt yourself, snuck you off and said, "You don't have to get better before someone can love you."

Say it to yourself every day before going to bed, starting today. Good night. (Same show:"When you were a child, what you want edged before you went to bed" Ella Chen Jiaxuan's Good Night Song: Good night, thank you for your hard work today)