If sex is a matter of making our bodies happy, why do we still have endless worries? Interview Xu Xiaoxu, we chatted about the size of sex.
"Sex is hard to talk about!" 」
Interview day, Taipei is counting how much this summer can break through the high temperature, everywhere is inexplicably hot atmosphere, and Song jie (xiao clarity) seems to come not to refuse, high temperature or enthusiasm. But she yelled, "My mind is very open, but my body is stubborn and honest, you know."
To chat feelings, chat sex, it seems relaxed and pleasant, but in fact, we take this matter very seriously, so that everyone inexplicably tied their hands and feet;
So, if sex is a matter of making our bodies happy, why do we still have endless worries?
I know I have sexual organs, but I don't know the emotional sensitive ness of the body.
Together we went back to what the girls had experienced, the chaotic puberty.
Teenagers, meet you not pink background love story, but bloated breasts, disorderly acne, never know whether it is the first or other inexplicable liquid-stained wet leggings.
Ignorance, body or emotion, you are in a world that is rapidly out of control, and there are a lot of voices that continue to appear outside; I felt like I was sitting in front of me with the pine sister who was now in the light-acquaintance stage, talking about the memories, like a panicked child living in an adult's body; you find that the feeling of comfort and pain would happen together, or that they were essentially similar.
But why? Sex education tells us what sex is like, but it doesn't say how to love, why you want it, how to find a gesture that makes you really happy: "At that time, you'll be told not to be too proactive and to suffer; But what's a loss? Indicates that you have a preset on it and you want to judge whether it is worth it. 」
Before we really know our bodies, we know how to write the three words of shame.
Is these, drag us down, you want to love but dare not love, want to say but dare not say, the heart is strong, but the spirit of the separation.
Self-intimate exercise: Start doing something that makes your body happy.
So, the after-effects of puberty, how to deal with?
"Well, there are three ways to go for everything, to accept, change, or to leave, but you know, the "body" question, you can only choose the first two. If you don't accept it, or you don't make it, and she's only going to get a little bit of it.
"Like I've been dancing recently, I'm going to be awkward at first, but it's going to last, you're going to be able to let go more and more, and you're going to think, yes, this is my body, why would N't i touch it?" Tearing down the framework that once placed this social value or education on you needs to start from the point of return.
'If you feel like you're a girl and you can't really accept or appreciate yourself, you've got to find something that makes you feel good, like hugging, gazing, exercising... and doing something that makes it feel good,' she said. 」
It's a long road, "but as I get older, I feel like all you have to do is accept your self and you know you're fine." No matter who ever tells you what your standard score is at the most critical moment of your physical growth, you need to know that you are now capable of slowly losing those things.
One is money and sex are the hardest to talk about in a relationship.
Of course, for the framework of sex, it is not so easy to get rid of things. And we often need to face, may be into the relationship after the communication and run-in.
When girls are taught to become passive roles, we are used to first cooperate with each other, sometimes side-knocking, in the end or wronged themselves. Song sister said, the relationship ah, the most difficult to talk about is money and sex.
For example, when the other party asks not to wear a condom, how can we communicate? If you don't like it in some parts of bed, how do you talk to each other?
"What you can think of is, do you think there will be consequences for what you think is going to happen to what you said?" What's going to happen to that guy? If you're afraid of hurting his self-esteem, you ask yourself if you want to be with a boy with a glass heart? 」
"You're just going to say it! Who's playing the little daughter-in-law over there? I immediately felt the spirit of sister Song, she wants to keep her mouth unsympathetic, said that today it is possible to wear a suit wronged, tomorrow is something else; 」
We talk about the "sted disease" this question, she did not think that this is a particularly sensitive thing, the truth is the same, "For example, if you are worried, you tell him you want to go to screen together; 」
'The love-up period is the best time to communicate,' she says. 'Sometimes you don't know how to adjust when you're together. Back in the end you can also think that if this relationship you can really talk about this open, is not very good? It's one thing to disagree, but whether I can talk openly and show that I care about how you feel, what you think, and then I'm willing to adjust for you, it's another, more important thing.
"As for the men who think you are so active and bad, if it is not too low self-esteem, if not too arrogant, this kind of person. 」
Dear girl, you want to have sex because you want to, you feel comfortable.
Song sister want to say, the so-called sex ah, it is a very instinctive thing. Man has a desire. So we're going to talk, of course we're going to talk, but the point is that what you really bother is not what you're supposed to be, it's yourself.
Today you want to have sex, perhaps because you want to pursue physical gratification, or you want to build intimacy with someone you like, no matter what, she says dear girls, do it because you want to do it, and you enjoy it: "You know you agree, so it happens, not for any other reason." Why do you want it? Because it makes you feel very comfortable. 」
You have to see your desires on top of the powerful person, "always focus on yourself, not on others." 」
If you think about this idea, maybe a lot of things will pass.
Back to the question of self-acceptance, she said, I know it sounds old-fashioned, but I really think that health is beautiful: "What it's natural to look like, but what you can do is, your best version." So, talk about so many entangled, complex emotional ah desire, she finally floated to say, in fact, I now feel that I should pursue a realm is, with companion can also be happy, not companion can also be happy. Life is to be happy!
Sex is good, the body is good, the essence is you, you are very important.
As long as you take care of yourself, the most honest with yourself, you will see that you are the best, she sits here today, has been through a lot of thorns, let me know that doubt and anxiety are true, but you deserve to be happier and more beautiful their own is true, there is a song sister in front, you still do not believe her.
About sex. Do you know what kind of animal you are incarnate about in sex? Point me to quiz!