Gender observation takes you from a gender perspective to see current events. PTT netizens tested and dated 19 girls to see how they reacted to the AA system, half of whom expected the man to pay, causing a heated debate among the villagers. AA system, is it good or bad? Is it the perfect dating model?
With readers who follow the PTT men's and women's editions, it should be hard to see that the most high-profile topic on the board is no more than "AA system" in recent times. There are dozens of related discussions, from May 2020 a moon center should be with girlfriend AA, continued to burn to date.
On August 7, a male netizen published the first meeting to eat the AA system actual test, said that he was for dating AA system test, he found 19 first-time meet girls, respectively, record the situation of dating checkout and the two people get along with the follow-up.
Photo . . .
Article immediately after the launch of the popular, there are netizens not surprised, but also netizens surprised - because according to this rough test, about half of the women are intended to let boys guest.
Since the article favours the "measure" of experience sharing rather than the carefully designed "experiment", we do not judge the results of this test, but simply discuss the role of AA and the relationship between men and women.
Is the AA system really fair? Or is it just a fake issue? Is it the most politically correct dating model?
Heterosexual men and women, someone to gain or lose?
The AA discussion is a glimpse of what the dating market in heterosexual values looks like.
Men chase women, women wait to be chased; boys take the initiative, take responsibility for contributing money; girls passive, just dress up, waiting for romance.
It may be the educational influence of childhood, or it may be that idol dramas and novels have always told the audience so that people's imagination of the opposite sex has always been very single. In the interaction relationship, which is purely binary, how boys and girls should be, have become rigid gender roles.
Wang Xiaodan, a professor of law at the University of Political Science, notes in his book "This is love and misogyny" that men and women are often influenced by the "romantic love" consciousness during their development.
However, romantic love also becomes a false consciousness, by shaping romantic but illusory ideals, the female limit into the rigid gender role of the passive, pursued, pampered side, and thus ignore the power of the wrong. - Wang Xiaodan's unlock, open a new era of emotional education
This matter is often directly reflected in daily life.
For example, the mother told her daughter that the dating requirements AA boys are very small, from this can see that he will not be too good for you in the future, for example, in some dating software dating options, only "pay each" and "boys please", there is no "girls inviting" possibility, some people say this is a patriarchy dividend, but in the long run, when girls are paid, girls are gender stereotypes constantly reproduced, is it really a good thing?
For boys, willingness to pay for all the costs of dating seems to have become a form of hassle. Fear that if the other boys do so and they do not, in the battle of love first was sentenced out;
Helping you pay the bill does not mean being nice to you.
Obsessed with the AA system to look at boys or girls, at some point, it is like just money to measure love.
Boys are willing to pay to express their interest in pursuing girls, and girls see if they are willing to pay for themselves.
Whether it is for boys or girls, follow the rules of the dating market to walk, at first glance seems to be relatively simple and intuitive, better understanding of each other's "meaning", but therefore limited in the intimate relationship in the mode, and even cause misunderstanding.
For example, the boy will feel that the girl is willing to make their own guests, it means that she is how much of a favor of their own? Will the boy expect anything else she can give herself on this date or in this relationship?
Want to maintain and support a relationship to go long-term, buy not pay the corner of the iceberg, others like the other side willing to spend time with you, do not support your life choices, can communicate with you, perhaps more important than who pays the bill.
Dr. Gary Chapman of the United States has proposed the famous "five languages of love" in the past, including positive words, elaborate time, gifts, physical touches, actions of service, and everyone's preferences are different - how you feel loved, only you know.
Following the hidden rules of the dating market is a quick strategy, but not the perfect choice. In the quarrel aA system in the end good or bad, who should pay, we should not try to loosen the system, open up other options?
The "AA system" can't destroy, nor save, relationships.
Write the first meeting to eat the AA actual test This article of the boys, and the netizens pushed the 15th girl together, can say it is all because of the AA system? Really want to talk about AA, the 15th girl spent the mind for the boys to make biscuits, birthday, how to calculate?
Photo . . .
Say it, whether or not a System A, is actually a very personal choice.
Can you talk on the phone every day?
Can you meet the opposite sex alone?
Can I be responsible for making money after marriage you take care of the housework?
Each dateor or partner is a completely different individual, without a set of 100 percent criteria for necessarily successful ness, to let you know how to fall in love with another person.
AA system, in the end is a matter of values, but also between the two people, as long as the two sides have a consensus, you love me, to achieve a balance.