Recently, Kaohsiung 14-year-old girl because of mobile phone software to meet netizens after being placed under house arrest, causing social uproar. Teenagers make friends on mobile phones, should parents care or shouldn't they? In the face of crisis, how to teach young people to be alert and self-insurance?
A 14-year-old chinese schoolgirl, 29 by high-speed rail from Kaohsiung north to Hsinchu, and then hitched a ride with a stranger after losing contact, anxious mother in Hsinchu major associations PO wenwen search, and exposed her daughter and netizens "strange dialogue." Police for many days using mobile phone signals, IP location co-location search, finally the police finally yesterday (2nd) in A suite in Hsinchu Zhudong in a secret room to find the girl and Luo surnamed main suspect, the whole case was announced to be solved. After 66 hours of horror, the girl has now returned safely to Kaohsiung; PTT netizens discussed that the whole case also has a neglected key figure, that is, august 29th, accompanied the girl on the high-speed rail north to Hsinchu students, if not the student machine police to write down the license plate number, and provided to the police, otherwise the girl will be imprisoned for a longer time.
The problem of mobile phone obsessing among teenagers is becoming more and more serious.
According to a Survey conducted by the National Development Council in February 2020, nearly 30% of the population admitted to be addicted to mobile phones, and one in two people in the youth community admitted to having an obsessing problem. Looking further at the indulging situation of different age groups, the rate of mobile phone users under the age of 20 who thought they had problems with Internet or mobile phone obsess, jumped from 29.3 percent in 107 to 54.0 percent in 108 years, while the use of mobile phones by all age groups also had the longest Internet connection time for internet users under the age of 20, and the time increased from 282 minutes in 107 to 312 minutes. The National Development Council admitted that it is difficult for young people to self-control the Internet, the problem continues to worsen, is a social issue that needs attention.
Teenagers have their own needs and psychology for online dating.
According to the Child Welfare Alliance, more than 37 percent of children have used dating apps in 2018. Parents often think that they have a child's Facebook or IG account number, in fact, the child's Facebook account is only used to receive dynamic information and powder news, and IG account is more "big account" and "small account" points! At the request of parents, large accounts are shared with parents, but small accounts are the children's own private and exclusive network world. And for the network dating software, but also a variety of choices, to promote new. Parents may not know what it is, even if they have the habit of checking their children's mobile desktop APPS. For example, Tinder, Goodnight, Sniffer, Grindr, Paktor, iPair, these are dating apps, have you ever heard of them?
Photo Source: Pixabay.
The author's family also has a daughter who is about to enter puberty, as well as a son who has entered high school. On the author's long-term observation of interaction, and further understanding can be summarized, young people's needs and psychology of online dating, mainly from three levels:
1. Seek cooler heterosphere recognition:
It is already common for teenagers to seek peer recognition, but in addition to using FB Messenger or IG to interact with classmates, students they know in cram school, or students they have known in the past, teenagers are actually more likely to want to see the world outside their peers and make new friends who are different from the current circle of life and the stratum. Whether it is for the purpose of online love, or simply to expand the circle of friends for the purpose of youth because of the growth of confusion, uncertainty, self-doubt, so that they feel that in the current circle of friends can not find the answer; They are eager to talk to the "big brothers and sisters" who are cooler, understand their moods better, and are more familiar with social realities and seek recognition.
2. Seek personal dating privacy:
Teenagers pay as much attention to privacy as they do to the need for external recognition, and students and friends they know in school, or in general real-world channels, are often subject to parental control and criticism. Whether it is from the tiger father tiger mother's "friendship qualification assessment": "a certain homework?" "What is something being done in a certain home?" "What was the result of a certain last simulated exam?" Or a passionate invitation from dolphin-like parents: "Would you like to invite someone to play at home?" For children, it is actually a great confusion and pressure. They want to make friends because of their choices and freedoms, not to account to their parents. For them, online dating is indeed a kind of personal controlled privacy network, free and autonomous dating channels.
3. The mentality of growing up:
In addition to being able to meet hetero-temperature friends on the Internet, you can also disguise your age, identity and gender. Be able to create your own Fantasy ID (Dream Account) and become a "grown-up self." In this dream account, you can have the respect and freedom that you have long wanted as an adult. In the past, there used to be a "only the majority can, and I just can't" discontent mentality, in the virtual world completely eliminated, nameless anger and unevenness have also been alleviated.
You should respect and teach crisis management more than restriction.
Through this week's series of 14-year-old Kaohsiung girls lost contact and claustrophobic waves, parents are bound to surge a confiscated children's mobile phones, strict restrictions on dating crisis management boom. However, the author still suggests:
In the face of the problem of online dating among young people, the reasons behind it should be explored and shared, rather than ingliminally prohibited and regulated. After all, the psychology behind the anonymous dating of teenagers online is originally derived from the expectation of being recognized and the desire to have personal privacy.
Five young netizens communication guidelines.
In respect for privacy, respect for young people's independent judgment and choice of friends, it is indispensable that parents should teach young people's online communication guidelines as follows:
1. Do not disclose a capital:
Contains personal information, phone, GPS location, location.
2. Do not transfer private photos:
Do not easily transfer personal photos, and in any case, never provide their own cool private photos or movies.
3. No money:
Never have money with netizens.
4. Not easily interviewed:
Must have a long network friendship process to consider meeting, must thoroughly grasp each other's identity, age, personality, family, school and other assets.
5. Do not meet in private:
No matter how trustworthy the other person is, as long as you meet, you should definitely avoid hidden rooms, sheltered places, residences, alleys, KTV, MTV; Also do not go alone, it is best to participate in the network gathering, or find a companion, before going out must tell each other the relevant information to parents or trusted friends.
Early warning teaching on youth crisis.
Parents to protect their children, thousands of control, are not comparable to the child's ability to deal with the crisis, you must teach your child's crisis warning principle is:
1. Do not use each other's vehicles alone.
2. Never agree with the other party's sudden change of meeting place, especially to a remote and secluded place.
3. When we meet, we find that the other person is not a person and must leave for the sake of it.
4. Never eat the original drink or food when you leave the scene and come back.
5. Never renew the stall.
6. Always carry anti-wolf supplies, such as sprayers, carrying chili water, etc.
7. Take your mobile phone with you and type it anytime, anywhere to report your whereabouts.
8. Trust your instincts, and if you feel weird and hairy when you meet, you should take the opportunity to leave.
Children are the heart of parents, the treasure in their hands. From the mother pregnant October, the landing, all the way stumble, pull growth, no stage without a special challenge. In the face of young people's dating problems, but also to be careful, patient, continuous care and observation. Children's safety first, self-protection awareness first, but parents also need to respect and care for the way to teach their children, give space for discussion, rather than one-way restrictions or confiscation of mobile phones. Looking forward to the family also have teenagers you, with wisdom and infinite love, to protect the child to a healthy and safe adult path.
A man of integrity takes a long time to see, and a bad man can recognize it in a day.