"The promised goal is great, but it is sloppy to do", you are also lack of willpower, can not insist on doing one thing people? Why is it so hard to develop a habit?
I like to plan my life.
I like to write down all the trips in my ledger at the beginning of the month, at the beginning of the week: running at 6:30, eating breakfast at eight, reading for an hour at nine, taking a nap at 3 p.m., doing half an hour of yoga at 10 p.m., well, life is perfect.
But that's what looks perfect.
The first two weeks can be properly completed, the third week but feel so tired, 6:30 can not climb up at all, the alarm clock down all the way to sleep to eight o'clock, eight o'clock after breakfast and want to sleep, back to bed to ten o'clock, alas, since all over the reading time, simply changed to a slippery mobile phone, read again at night; At the end of the month back to confirm the perfect plan written by hand, full of frustration, alas, sure enough, I am lazy, give up next month. Look at those online articles shouting "Ten habits of successful people, you can also do" Hey, even five habits can not develop their own, is not doomed to failure?
I don't know how many people, like me, had the initial momentum to change, but the execution rate plummeted over time. Why is it so hard to cultivate habits? (Extended reading:"Always three minutes hot" self-discipline psychology: because you don't know who you want to be)
It's not hard to develop habits, it's that you overestimate yourself: make your goals simple enough not to work.
James Kriel, author of the 2019 best-selling book Atomic Habits, has put the concept of compound interest in habit-making, accumulating huge changes through subtle advances day in and day out to save many people trapped by self-discipline. What exactly do you do? In How to Build a New Habit: This Is Your Strategy Guide (How to Build a New Habit: This Is Your Strategy Guide) simply mentions five concepts that upend our previous perception of habit-building.
1. Start with extremely small habits.
Most people always think they can't develop new habits because they don't have enough willpower and motivation, but they don't. In fact, willpower is like muscle, and using it throughout the day can be exhausting, developing habits, and starting with the simplest little things, which can be done without even any motivation.
For example, do you find it difficult to read for 30 minutes? So start with 10 minutes; Why don't you start with five, and the goal is simple until you don't do it.
2. Start with small things to improve.
1% power, have you ever heard of it?
James Cleary uses a diagram to explain the huge changes that small advances can make:
Make 1% progress every day, and you can grow nearly 37 times in a year. That is, when you're planning your daily goals for growth, don't look down on sitting up and doing 5 more readings, and as you get tired over time, your results will exceed your imagination.
3. Dismantling habits.
Dismantling goals is important, and if you have to read for 30 minutes a day, don't rush to get it done right away. Because willpower is like muscle, overuse can be exhausting. We've all had the experience of spending 30 minutes on the first day tried to get things done, the next day thinking of the pain of the first day, solving things perfunctoryly, and then giving up quickly.
Splitting 30 minutes into three parts, spread out in the morning, mid-night, will make the task easier.
4. When you fall, get back on track.
It doesn't matter if you're on a daily mission, you may fall, occasionally want to be lazy, or out of time, and it's okay to get back on track next time and get the task done. Many people may encounter the same situation: do wrong once, will give up to persist.
But your goal is not to make everything perfect, but to get into the habit, James Kriel points out, that a mistake doesn't affect your long-term plan, and more importantly, you can find the reason for the mistake and fix it early.
5. Be patient and keep your pace firm.
It's easy to make only a little progress a day, but it won't be as fast as you think, and it's likely to be three or four months before you see results. But the training habit is like this, need patience and time to verify, the focus is: do not give up, step steady.
The results of the test.
When the concept of establishing habits was subverted, I re-examined my past methods of developing habits and saw three reasons for my failure:
I overestimate the present situation.
2. I'm over-pursuing perfection.
3. I look forward to seeing results in a short period of time.
First, I miscalculate my physical strength and time, think that every day can get up on time to exercise, but often mentally unlucky, or stuck to work time, and finally because of all kinds of excuses fell; I want to see results quickly, with high expectations: a week can feel the body some muscles, a week can immediately use the knowledge learned, so too much effort, often feel pain, if a week did not feel the specific difference, immediately indoctrinate themselves "useless", give up early. (Extended reading: Why should you try to draw up a "do nothing list"? )
Later, I disassembled my habits according to the five methods mentioned above:
Originally listening to English Podcasts for 20 minutes ➔ listening to a 5-minute English Podcast every day ➔ listening to an English Podcast for 7-10 minutes a day, listening twice.
Originally doing yoga for 30 minutes a day ➔ 10 minutes of yoga in the morning or before bedtime➔ 10 minutes of yoga a week or 10 minutes before bedtime, and 20 minutes of yoga on weekends.
In the past, during my commute, I told myself to listen to podcasts that opened English news for only 5 minutes, not much, and turned them off after listening, telling myself that it would be nice to do so today. After listening to two weeks, found that they began to catch the speed and rhythm of the broadcast, then changed to listen to twice, gradually, I now just get on the bus, I am used to point open; Stretch, do not sweat the kind, physical strength is very just, ten minutes not much, a month later became very enjoy this kind of time, completely empty, so thinking that you can do more, the weekend will challenge 20 minutes of advanced yoga, feel very good.
I took the goal very small, reduced yoga time to no delay to work, if not awake in the morning to do at night, there will be no excuse to skip; listen to podcast time less, will not listen to English to hear asleep, because boring and changed to listen to music, these adjusted habits, I have maintained more than five months, all because the goal has become very simple. (As for whether it's working, I'm going to have a review in a year's time!) )
In addition, in the process of developing my habits, I also have two tips to share with my heart - don't do unhappy things, name the time to do things for you.
"Happy" is very important, if you do a painful thing, will greatly affect your willingness to continue to do, and even when you fail to bring you a huge blow, so whether it is listening to english Podcast or doing sports, I must first listen to the favorite theme, do comfortable action, which makes me willing to continue the next day.
"Name the time to do things" is my personal habit. Name a time slot and let me look forward to the future, for example, I will write in my ledger "8:00-8:30 Monday after listening to long knowledge time / 22:00-22:20 Wednesday shudding period/19:00-19:30 Friday free time", so every time you open the hand book to confirm the trip, you will begin to look forward to, at some point in the future, you can have a good rest, or learn great knowledge.
What about you? What habits do you want to develop? Feel welcome to leave a message below to share your own results and methods. Or what obstacles do you encounter in developing your habits? Also welcome to discuss together!