Each child has different learning methods and processes, as parents, can do is to be patient with them, believe in them, give responsibility, so that they have room to find life's enthusiasm.
Women fans are honored to have the opportunity to interview Esther, known as "Vossie". Esther Wojcicki, author of "Raising a Powerful Child."
Her three high-achieving daughters, who together have a fortune of more than $50 billion, appeared in Time magazine to endorse their mother's parenting philosophy.
In addition to raising three super-excellent daughters, She has taught the children of many American celebrities, such as Jobs's children, basketball superstar Lin Shuhao, and Elon Musk. Musk's mother is a good friend.
Through this remote interview, women fans asked about the secrets of TheWolsie's philosophy of upbringing
Don't be a tiger mom, or a helicopter mom or dad
Sister Waugh is very much against parents strictly monitoring their children's learning, because she has seen too many examples of this kind of monitoring and curriculum, which will make children "look" very successful in the early stages, but in adolescence easy to embark on a rebellious path, not only to lose enthusiasm for learning, but also to have a bad parent-child relationship with parents.
The method she uses is one she has learned from four decades of on-site teaching experience, constantly trying to revise it, which she has summed up into five core values: "TRICK" - trust, respect, independence, collaboration, kindness.
This is also the method that Ms. Woo has repeatedly emphasized in her interviews, in addition to the family and school are common, and now even enterprises have found the true value of this, but also gradually began to adopt.
So all the interviews run through the values that Vossie believes in all her life: trusting children, respecting them, developing independence and cooperation.
Finally, teach them to be good people.
Happiness is more important than excellence
"The child should be allowed to do what he is happy about, not force him to do something he doesn't like. " Woo said.
Think about it, when we're hungry or sick, we don't do what we want.
The same is true of small children, when parents force them to do something "parents think it is important", but "they do not like", then this "learning" will be how sad, it is conceivable.
Unhappy people, he will hate the corresponding study, and even more resentful of the world, hate parents - and this is really love children's parents, want?
Does that make a child a happy wasted man?
Parents have been asking such questions for years, and Voss smiles and begins to explain:
When a person finds his passion, he is happy and more like to learn, and when that interest is developed, there is positive feedback that makes him more like to do it - just because he will encounter difficulties.
And the aforementioned reference to "letting children be independent and develop the ability to solve difficulties" comes in handy. Children will become happy but distinguished in that field for their passion and for the joy of wanting to be in a higher state than happiness.
So, what about wealth? Ms. Waugh says she's seen so many millionaires that only a few are happy.
But a happy and outstanding person usually has enough wealth because their desires are restrained. Such a person will live a full life, the soul will be rich.
So rather than forcing a child to look great, it's better to accompany him in finding something that would make him happy. But happy things are vague, because there are too many, so will say: parents may most need, but also the only psychological quality needed, is "patient companionship."
What about special children?
For children with special gifts, such as Elon Musk. Elon Musk's mother once talked to Sister Voss about how little Elon took B or C in almost every subject at school, or even failed - because he thought the school was too boring.
In fact, many children are very clever, but the school system can not be found, or the family does not believe.
But the best way to educate such a smart child is to let him make his own choices, in which he will find what he really loves and devote himself to it.
Too good a child
Children who listen to their parents and are particularly good at school may have "fear" in their hearts, hoping to fulfill their parents' teachers' expectations perfectly, and fearing new things, or uncertainties.
The best way to educate such over-behaved children is to encourage them to try something new and tell them, "It doesn't matter if they do something wrong."
At a young age, failure is no big deal: "Family will always support you, even though you don't take the first exam, we love you as well. "
A child without self-confidence
Children who grow up under the authority of "helicopter parents" or "tiger parents" often lack self-confidence in themselves, or begin to resist orders in protest at puberty because they cannot find themselves because they have not been respected, Ms. Woo said.
Or another child with a bad family background, or a cowardly nature, who can easily lose confidence in themselves or even lose themselves.
Therefore, in order to help this kind of child, we should first listen to the other person's voice, let them know the adult in front of them, respect and trust him.
By gaining the trust of your child, you can deliver the appropriate responsibilities, give them the opportunity to choose for themselves, let them find out what they love in their hearts, and encourage them to build their self-confidence step by step in times of trouble, turning into a positive cycle.
Children have their own speed of study
"Parents are worried too much!" she said, as she has seen countless students and parents over the decades.
For children of a slower learning age, the most important thing for parents is to be "patient" - perhaps the only and most important psychological quality of being a parent, in addition to seeking professional help to ensure that there are no adverse external effects.
Although children are born to two people, but they are not a replica of their parents, genes are not, growing environment is not, interpersonal interaction is not replicable. So what's so strange about a child who can't do what his parents did when they were kids?
Each child has his own learning speed, as long as you give him enough nutrients, the next as long as patient waiting, this small sapling, will grow up slowly, and bear the sweet fruit.
The most famous example is when Einstein didn't speak until he was three years old, as did one of Vossie's grandsons, Ethan.
Ethan was almost three years old and didn't speak, but when he was ready to start talking, it was a complete sentence: "I want to take the elevator";
And Ethan grew up reading amazingly, even joining the debate society during his studies, and achieving great success as an adult.
Applying The five core values of TheWolse: "TRICK" - trust, respect, independence, cooperation, kindness.
We do not need to let children in happiness and excellence, can only choose one, as long as the right way of upbringing, we can all choose.
Start by yourself, lead your child to find what he really wants to do, what he feels interesting and willing to delve into, and accompany him to face the obstacles of thorns, not only to become an outstanding person in the field, but also to become a happy person.
(Episode I of this interview series: An interview with Silicon Valley godmother Esther. Wojcieschi: Children don't believe in themselves, you have to trust them first.
(Episode II of this interview series: An interview with Silicon Valley godmother Esther. Vosicki: Having a child doesn't mean sacrificing their love.