Raising children has never been easy - the well-known American high school teacher, "Woo Si", shared her 40 years of teaching experience on the ground and life perspectives in this interview.
Women fans are honored to have the opportunity to interview Esther, known as "Vossie". Esther Wojcicki, author of "Raising a Powerful Child." She teaches in the world's most competitive school districts and has accumulated 40 years of on-site teaching experience.
In this video interview with Woo Si, California,her book mentions her daughter's upbringing and the teaching of her students, in which she again emphasizes - as distinct from tiger-mother-style teaching - the five core values she has developed over the decade: "TRICK" - trust, respect, independence, cooperation, and kindness.
As long as the above five points, you can teach happy and outstanding children, and now more and more companies to these five core values.
In addition to her re-emphasis, we also asked questions not mentioned in her book, these exclusive correctional secrets, let's tell you
(Interview episode: Interview with Silicon Valley godmother Esther. Wojcieschi: Children don't believe in themselves, you have to trust them first.
Voss's regret
Although Ms. Worsies's three daughters were excellent, she regretted that her husband, a heavyweight physics professor at Stanford University, did not spend much time with her daughters when they were young, so they were raised by Ms. Waugh herself.
She therefore stressed in particular that children were two people, and that they were always the only ones, regardless of whose financial roles were placed on them, whether male or female.
Busy other half, although the usual time to care for children is less, please be sure to take time to talk to children deeply, let them feel - "despite the busy father (mother) work, but still very concerned about you and love you, if you are in trouble, I will support you behind your back."
The difference between father or mother
The first link between a child and the world is the mother. The bond between the mother and the child begins when the umbilical cord is connected in the belly, so the mother's intimacy with her children is quite different from that of the father.
But the second link between the child and the world is the father! And there are a lot of things a father can do. By the time the baby evolves from a baby to a crawling beast, the father's value will be perfect.
It is more common for fathers to play games with their children, in any form. And the game with the father, usually more than the mother play more changes and funny (of course, often accidentally hit the child's head, the child will cry to find the mother to report, but this is not one of the joys of life?) ）。
If dads are not good at parenting, they can take their kids to various sports, play baseball, basketball, ride a bicycle, skate straight wheels, or go green in the countryside, climb mountains and so on.
But most importantly, as the only father of a child, talk more with the children and listen.
In this way, the father can integrate into the family, become a part of the family, establish close connection with the child, become the child's "dear father", rather than a tool person who only makes money.
Photo | Photo by Jessica Rockowitz on Unsplash
Having a child doesn't mean sacrificing their love
Many parents lose interest or even love in their other half in the process of raising their children.
Take care of yourself in order to take good care of the children.
Ms Waugh said the most common situation was when the mother was too connected to her children and the father was not well involved in it, so the father broke off the line with the family. The strangeness among family members, if not trying to improve, will only push people farther and farther, and finally only resentment and complaints.
A family seems to have a father and a mother and a son, but only become a roommate living under the same roof, until the child leaves home as an adult, the husband and wife are more like strangers, and this, is really the home we want?
Even with children, you can't give up your obligation to be a lover - that is, to make your partner happy in good faith.
Couples need to develop a common interest, or have a fixed date time, to do something "couple" will do. For example, the occasional romantic dinner date, doing something interesting, cultivating a common topic other than chatting about a child, in short, you can't ignore the love interest between two people.
(Extended reading:"Tell him with your body, you love him" Husband and wife late at night: five ways to make him feel loved in bed)
The transition between teacher and motherhood
Ms. Waugh, a senior high school language teacher, says treating students differently is certainly different from treating her own children.
When she is a teacher, students can be treated more objectively, she will use their teaching majors to help students improve their needs.
Opposite low-confidence students, she will take pains to encourage them to find what they are good at, build their self-confidence;
But when her identity changed from teacher to "mother", things were different
Back home, facing her three biological daughters, on the matter of "cultivation", Watson confessed to answer: "I will have emotional impulses."
For example, if her daughter does not do well or makes a mistake, she will be directly affected: anger, breakdown, depression, regret, helplessness, emotions will emerge, affecting her sanity, making emotional statements, and making inappropriate actions.
These actions make the child sad, but also let her as a mother sad.
Benefits of teacher status
However, as a professional teacher, she found that she could use her "teaching major" to raise her daughter. That is, think of your daughter as a student in school and try to teach objectively.
Learn not, teach;
If you make a mistake, change it;
If you don't understand, let them understand in a different way.
When you can use the status of "mother" and "teacher" in different situations, you can not only reduce conflict with each other, but also sacrifice intimacy with your daughter.
Man is not a robot, man is a human being and needs to live a good life
If you use "tiger mother-style teaching" to force children to learn, usually children will not be happy, they will not be happy;
Children are not appendages, they are human beings, so as parents we can also make friends with them. Often chat with them, talk about the news, understand the unknown together, and marvel at the wonder of everything in the world
It is more important to let a child have a sound personality than to be a big man.
At the end of the interview, Vossie again emphasized "TRICK": trust, respect, independence, cooperation, kindness.
This is not only the way children are raised, but also our attitude towards life: how we treat others, how others treat us.
Ms. Woo hopes that these five core values can be implemented in society and become a beautiful positive cycle.
(Interview with the same show:"Educating children, who says happiness and excellence can only be chosen by two?" Silicon Valley godmother's parenting tips are widely publicized )
(Interview with co-presenter: Interview with Silicon Valley godmother Esther. Wojcieschi: Children don't believe in themselves, you have to trust them first.