Interview writer left light: in the sun-drenched world, there is a world we can not see

(Previous episode: The attitude of taking medication becomes as daily as "taking vitamins every day": an interview with writer Zuo Lu , "I'm fighting depression in a mental hospital")

At the beginning of the writing, is under what opportunity put on the network, or even out of the book?

In the first half of 2018, the long-term is in a state where it is too difficult to survive. I updated the only state in my circle of friends for half a year: "Will the sun be round in 2019?"

Hospital time, in fact, lonely and cold. To distract myself, at my dad's suggestion, I began to write about my experiences on the local bean-flap group. The local bean-petal group would not have been hilarious, and such an inexplicable record post was simply unsuspended. But I don't care, I just want to write, it has become the only way for me to vent my pain. 

It says that the few readers of this book have become few and far between. But during the period still received some support, encouragement, care, but I am always afraid to live up to their expectations.

Until later, a small reader suggested that I publish the book, I was even more frightened, as at that time, as timid as the general immediate weakness down: "impossible, casually written, impossible." 

Later, all kinds of APP's small partner representatives appeared, they want to move my record to the paste bar, hundreds of number and so on. I am also pleased to express my consent, on the way to their own knife or others to work for, the whole process is full of hope and sorrow. Hope is through their own words, let others feel the power - can bring strength to others, is always a great thing;

Photo | author Left Light

These scattered in the end of the world of the true story, weaving a world I once could not see. They exist so sharply and inscribedly that they beat the hidden pain of a lifetime on the altar of life. This throughout the life of the suffocation, must be very painful. 

At the end of new year 2018, another missile of my life landed, breaking the dark moment and shining brightly. The difference is that this is a prayer meteor, which has brought me the possibility of writing a book. I was contacted by the editor to ask about the intention to publish the book. 

People are very cheap, sometimes life is too shy, suddenly smooth up, the whole person will fall into a kind of confusion.

Every morning when I open my eyes, I ask myself, like a slogan, "MD! Can labor and management produce books? ! So that I always feel that God can not be so care for me, has been dragged to the press staff to urge, began to integrate the editing manuscript. 

What I most want to do, or "heavy-spoken", can be said to be "dream", at this moment realized. And whether the circle is not perfect, in short, don't doubt that this is the most satisfying and happy moment in life. How many times can a person's life have such a moment?

I'm still so young that I've tasted this sweet taste for the first time, and I'm presupposing that it will take years of luck to repay. But I do, it's worth it. As the dust settled on the issue of the book, gradually, criticism and resentment also poured in.

Many opponents criticize my reason: I am the author just love money. But I never deny it. Money! What a lovely money! People always hate it superficial, but still for its former servants, which is enough to prove that it is lovely.

I love money, and the language of this sentence lies in the adverb - "just". I can never agree with this "just", noble sentiment and vulgar material desire, selfish purpose and good will, all doomed to this "just" can not be established. 

In the past, my happiness was always cautious, for fear of disturbing other people's emotions. Now, I'm like a full-time child, jumping all the way, shaking the test paper to shout about my achievements.

After the news of the book was widely announced, many readers sent a private letter congratulating me, I know that they are always really happy for me. My happiness can accompany the group all the way to sing, this is my life has been looking forward to the beautiful scenery. 

Now, the Taiwan edition of "I'm Fighting Depression in a Mental Hospital" has also been published. Everything is going on step by step and in an orderly manner. After the "Big Bombing", my life really opened here, and began to perform a unique, exclusive to my own Chinese chapter. Time this big man seems to have finally let me go. Start running nonstop into 2021.

The first sun of 2021 will break through the horizon and rise in the bright red hajj Lyon, and it's not round, it doesn't really matter. The important thing is that we can all see it. We're all going to have the newest, brightest, brightest 2021. (Extended reading:"Little Yu into the column" don't call it civilized disease! Depression has been around for 4000 years )

Photo | author Left Light

What is the reader's biggest encouragement to you?

The greatest encouragement they gave me was to share their stories with me, to tell me that in this sun-drenched world, there is a world we can't see. I was like being melancholy suddenly dropped into a vast desolate no man's land, in order to keep warm, I lit a weak torch, self-pity to guard this belongs to their own little fire. But one day suddenly looked up, but saw the distant star dot response. There are too many people like me who are trying to love life.

Before and after the publication of "I Fight Depression in a Mental Hospital," I listened to many stories of depression. Encounter some interesting, strange, shake, it will be through their own language finishing, narrative in their own "human story" set, since then, began to live their lives, while slowly telling the story of others. The inscription of this story collection is to every kind and brave soul.

Sometimes I wonder what kind of personality I can call "lonely" until I see the story of a reader who calls him "to others".

A few days ago, the mother of the child because of depression, jumped to suicide. Through the description of others, I know that this is a loving, elegant, moving mother, she loves calligraphy, always like to stand on a stool to take pictures of their calligraphy works. 

And what struck me most was that after my mother left, she said to her, "Loneliness is me, helplessness is me, and I am at a loss." But he ended up saying:

"To prevent yourself from going through such a big change and not being able to walk out of the shadows is certainly not what mom wants." I'm trying to get more people to realize early how terrible depression is, and how easy it is to be ignored and hidden, to let patients, family, friends, face up to this disease. 

Perhaps, everyone will have the hidden courage to face a fate to give the fire, but few people can be like others, can be in the world after the devastation, in the aftermath of their own tragedy, struggling to stand up, to guard someone else's surviving bone - a person tasted the number of tricks and sorrow, but still pray that others to maintain the hope. 

He told me that his mother's pen name was called "To the people".