Reader's Letter: Would you like to delete a picture of your predecessor? Slowly decide that you always need some time to repair the heart full of sores

"What's it like to fall in love with someone?" 」

"If one day you're standing on the surface of the earth and you suddenly can't breathe, that's probably it." 」

- "Not In Love"

So, what does it feel like to be out of love? If one day, the daily travel of the street, you will hold an empty hand, as if there had been a temperature, and then bitter smile, and want to cry, I think, that is probably it.

A few days ago received a letter from the reader, the letter said: "Break up five months, read a lot of articles of women fans, thinking about to delete the former photo?" Whether it is photos, or chat records, I always force myself not to see, but can not delete, after all, are memories. Those, as long as look or sad, so far can not put down, also did not grow. Outside is to show light clouds, but the heart is so fragile, think will cry. 」

Photo|Photo by zhenzhong liu on Unsplash

(Extended reading:Single Diary: I don't mind being alone, it's more comfortable than loving you)

True expression inside, there are words can not carry a thousand words, there are outsiders can not see the touch of sad. Between the lines, I like to see a line of reason tightly tied to the young girl, she is thinking, while telling themselves not to miss.

After the break-up, found the most painful time, probably is not to say "we break up" that moment, the most painful, but invisible in the empty room, dried single cotton quilt, thrown in the Xuanguan another pair of keys, as well as, a person can not eat hot pot shop.

In order not to let oneself trapped in the memory pile, fortunately want to delete the photos in the mobile phone, blocked the way of communication, but always hard, reluctant to love their own traces. The film "33 Days of Love" has a saying: "Memories, memories, if nothing can be done without it, how light and clear the world becomes." 」

If you want to be bright, you have to give up. But dear, loveless as we, really have a way to say break on the break?

Don't delete can't change anything, why delete it?

Reader A: Delete will have a new story, delete can not go on is just reluctant. Don't delete, can't change anything, just a memory, unless this memory is the driving force to move forward, otherwise there is really no need to stay.

In order to reply to the reader's letter, we have several times in a row, in the women's fan Ig Story to collect readers to reply, of course, everyone for "break up, whether to delete photos or not" have different interpretations, one of them, think that since not delete can not change the fact of the break-up, it is better to delete it, on the one hand, put the predecessor behind us, on the other hand, to meet a new beginning.

Deleted, there is a kind of outrage to destroy the body, but also a kind of "old lady disdain" rebellion. If memories block the way, then I would rather give up once, after all, wind and snow moon, who is not injured forward.

Since there is no way to face it, it is better to delete it and save trouble

Reader B: Delete it. Deleted, not the old do not go, the new do not come, just because there is no way to look at those things, but can no longer close to a little, once those have become a part of me, sad and mixed.

Escape is not a weak decision, it is a determination to understand that there is nothing you can do now.

A friend S, who had broken up with her boyfriend of five years a few days earlier, told me that the moment of the break-up was in sight, that she was dragging her tired body home without touching the reality, and that her mother and sister had taken the lead in putting away everything about him in her room. "They're more thoughtful than I thought, " she said with a smile when she saw S again, even though I was still laughing at her and seeing her trying. But I can't bear to tell her, dear, really forget, don't need to work hard.

"Things are put away, I feel better, but I still can't delete the photos, just don't look, " S said, because there is no way to face, so choose to delete or not to see, are the same truth, in the final analysis, after the break-up, break up, have to hold their conscience, make their best decisions.

Photo|Photo by ELSIE ZHONG on Unsplash

(Extended reading:Single Diary: You don't still love him, you just miss the feeling of falling in love)

Now can't delete, let the memories lie there quietly, it doesn't matter

Reader C: I've been apart for five months, why am I so impressed? Because that day is my birthday, just got my custom-made marriage proposal diamond ring, but on that day, we finally broke up, perhaps I really can't go out, photos are good, chat history is good, are still retained, even diamond ring are placed at my bedside, occasionally their own hands cheap, will be unable to take out to see a few eyes, tears so silently fell down.

Reader D: I can't delete it, I'll think about it, and I'll cry, just like this reader. But I believe it's not time yet, is it? There should be a day when you never want to see it again, or even if you do, you don't feel much. Perhaps, delete or not delete it does not matter, I believe so, I am also waiting for that day to come. Keep, wait until this day, then look again, will know how beautiful in love at that time, how happy, so beautiful people, who do not know how to cherish?

Can you believe it? Sometimes when you're sad, you feel like you're the main character.

The film "33 Days of Love" is accompanied by a quote from the French writer Marguerite Youssena: "The dirtiest thing in the world is self-esteem." The protagonist says that even if he is dirty, he will have to live with this self-esteem for the rest of his life. But I think, in the category of love, self-esteem is the least necessary thing.

So ah, can't forget what, can't delete and how? Let the memories lie there quietly, at this moment there is no way to deal with, temporarily need sadness 醐 top, it doesn't matter, it doesn't matter, who called you deeply loved, who called love, worth a word of indelible. You always need some time to fix that broken heart.

Photo|Photo by zhenzhong liu on Unsplash

(Extended reading:"Single Diary" I don't regret being single, I just regret not having you anymore)

Why do you have to make a choice? Delete and don't delete, let it go

Reader E: Why do you have to make a choice? Naturally, it would be nice to be a part of the past! Like the former company you used to be in, does it need to be deleted?

Children make choices, adults don't.

After reading the reader's message and then going back to the question of "do you want to delete the photos of my predecessors" , I think the question itself has gone beyond right and wrong , so that the answers to the questions can vary from person to person . Maybe what you need, not who gives advice, what you need is to go back and ask yourself.

Want to delete, why? Don't want to delete, why? Reluctant to delete, and why?

Before falling in love, you think he is the person, such as the distant sun, to nourish you;

You think he's the one, so at the end of the day, the cliffs are lema, or you have to let yourself hang and fall down the valley. Such you, a panic can not be more normal ah, do not need to use rules to kidnap themselves, those memories, delete and do not delete, are you. Your pay, are worth it, you just remember this, it is very good.