Your attitude to gossip determines what kind of adult you are.

After each controversy, anger poured into the community to criticize it. But where does this anger come from and why do people think they have the power to convict others?

Recently, because of participating in the singing program "King of sound forest" and sports variety show "All-Star Games" red 22-year-old actress Zizi (the name Xie Tsai), broke the ambiguous message with the same program male entertainer He Mengyuan, because the two have stable contacts, so the incident immediately attracted a large number of netizens and media attention.

For the first time, Tsai and He Mengyuan vehemently denied their relationship and issued an apology statement on their personal Instagram on April 15th, the same day, He Mengyuan's girlfriend, 荳荳 (now known as He Zixuan), posted a message on the personal community refuting the two men's claims, saying that the two had indeed "split their legs", causing the plot to plummet.

On April 16th, the original sound brothers of the Zizi brokerage company issued an apology statement, stating that they would end their contract with Zizi, and on the same day, Tsai and He Mengyuan apologized twice, admitting that there was "an affair between the lovers".

Below the statement, there were more than 7,000 comments, including "Better than singer, actor or better for you", "disgusting", "skunk green tea", "split girl", "" and other speech attacks.

Seeing zizi's eyes scattered during the live broadcast, constantly apologizing to fans and the public, she said in a slightly trembling, sobbing voice, "I'm sorry for the people I hurt, the people I hurt, I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

She bowed and bowed deeply, with tears in her face, apologized to the "people" in the air, and finally left a sentence: "Say goodbye to all the people who supported me, goodbye, thank you, I am very sorry for all my actions, I was wrong." 」

Whether or not artists really have problems in their emotional personal morality, sometimes how to deal with relationships, right or wrong, hurt or not, still have to go back to the individual. Putting aside the "moral controversy", in this case, what we have to pay attention to is the farewell of the critics of public opinion, does it represent some kind of warning?

Network public trial, is it justice or bullying?

A sense of justice is an important concept, but some people are used to playing with excess sense of justice. Psychology writer 榎 Ben Bomin

When The Film Of Zizi Crying Goodbye To Fans And Family Members Came Out, There Were Several NoteworthY MessageS Under The Post, Someone Said, "On The Matter, It Is Indeed Wrong." It's true that everyone in this generation has freedom of speech, but how many are personal attacks unrelated to the event? How many people find it interesting to watch the play with the wind? I'm afraid you can't open some over-the-top messages. 」

Indeed, the masses seem to have the light, always love to drill to the hot spot, standing at the moral commanding heights, against the parties to fall down the rock, fierce criticism.

In response to the mass psychology of online public trials, Japanese psychology writer 榎 Ben Boming, in his book "Trump Society", mentioned that personal attacks are mostly caused by "over-reaction" after mishandling their emotions.

Overreaction, he notes, does not come from a calm cognitive response, but from an impulsive emotional response. An overreactive society is not only prone to inciting the majority to produce emotional reactions, but also allows the public's emotions to have a knock-on effect. 」

The phenomenon of "overreaction" in Taiwan society, from the past nine knives, Akishi, Axiang and other gossip news out of the state can be seen one or two, but when encountering the public figures emotional scandal surfaced, the masses in the life of a hundred boring, grabbed a glimmer of opportunity to show justice script, so the media reports plus the network public trial, to create again and again "over-reaction."

These "reactions" in the name of morality and justice often result in online bullying through meat searches, verbal abuse, and lessons learned from the parties concerned.

British journalist Qiang. In his book "The Village People's Trial", Ronson cites the experience of the victims of the internet public trial to demonstrate the powerful lethality of the network public trial, saying, "You think they (the villagers) want an apology, but that is an illusion." They want me destroyed, they want me dead, but they're never going to say that.

The collective repression of society can cause negative energy to explode in the anonymous world. Especially when a person in real life, facing the low sense of achievement, strong desire for power can not be stretched, more likely to produce a certain degree of aggression on the network, over time, but also narrow the space for social pluralism, rational dialogue.

The consequences of a public hearing on the Internet, you will not be able to bear

More than a week after the incident, the media is still tracking the report, the anger of the villagers has not yet subsided, but some voices, we really have to face up to the possible consequences of the public trial.

Under the video of Zizi's apology and farewell, a self-proclaimed sister-in-law's message accumulated 1,600 likes and nearly 40 comments, saying, "I'm surprised and sorry to know that you made a mistake, but some people's messages are no longer on the matter, I hope you can tell which words should be put in mind, which do not need to be ignored, I hope you don't give up your life because of this matter." 」

Internet public trials may be quick, but often with irreversible consequences.

Take South Korea, which has the highest suicide rate in the OECD countries, for Economic Co-operation and Development. In 2019, Shirley, a 25-year-old actress, gave birth to her own child, drawing attention from the South Korean government to online bullying.

Since quitting the women's league, Shirley, an outspoken and physically capable of taking back women's body autonomy, has become the focus of internet bullying, and she is arguably one of the most severely bullied artists in The Korean performing arts.

Some people say, "It was the whole society that killed Shirley together", and looking back at her Instagram posts, she could almost see the "close species" (welfare tactics, people who use various methods to get attention), "neuropathy", "" and other sexual insults and personal attacks that caused her to suffer from severe depression for years, and eventually decided to leave the world in an extreme way.

In the year of Shirley's death, the average number of suicides in South Korea was more than twice as high as the OECD national average, and in order to prevent the emergence of a second, third, and nth Shirley, the anti-cyber bullying law named after Shirley, the Choi Truth Act, was quickly spawned, with the South Korean government targeting aggressive cyberattacks and verbal bullying aimed at personal attacks.

Looking back at Taiwan from the social problems of South Korea, although in the case of Zizi and He Mengyuan, we can still see from time to time in the long string of messages, see rational and give others good intentions of the message, but on the whole, the public trial is still strong. Believe that anyone, no matter you or me, can bear the moral criticism that comes to you for days and weeks on end.

From the point of view of reason and empathy, whether we can put away our anger and see the essence behind it is the most important thing to improve the social communication mechanism.

Behind the emotions, are we all abhorrent of betrayal? Did someone else's event trigger its own past? Is it a transfer of anger? Or simply enjoy the thrill of the attack? Seeing our own motivation behind the behavior will help us digest our emotions, and it will also have positive significance for the rational communication of society and the development of people's physical and mental health.

(Extended reading:"Do you have to understand the weight of words until after a person dies" After Miyamura left, the Japanese art crowd complained of acid and cyber bullying)

The purpose of the dialogue is to clarify emotions and reach consensus, not to convey anger

A lot of people will ask, public figures should have been magnified, they are obviously wrong, can't I express my views?

Basically, as long as the two sides agreed to the emotional dispute, even if there is betrayal, outsiders have no room to judge and ignore. What can be judged by the public can only be judged by the public through the narrowness of power, the violation of the freedom of others, or forced sexual assault against the will of others without positive consent.

When you judge others in the name of justice, through malicious speech, this is not justice for granted, but to become a member of the victims of the internet public trial, through verbal attacks, to persecute a person who is not really similar to you, constitute a "cyber bullying" fact.

South Korea's "Choi Truth Law" has two important demands during the petition stage, one is to "change the message mechanism of large communities in South Korea to a "real name system" and not to make society irresponsible because of anonymity" and the other is to "stop journalistic qualifications and other sanctions if there is media coverage of content that lacks a sense of responsibility", although in the end, the real-name system's claims because they contain a financial problem can not enter the legislative stage, but can guide us to face up to the problems behind "anonymity".

When you put away your name and show your power through online abuse, it's not really a category of freedom, it's about life attacks and defamatory speech, it's violence, it's crime, it can be murder. That way you, just keep let people know, you have not learned to face their own life setbacks, to relieve emotions, so can only pass on to others.

(Extended reading: Taylors awarded the Women's Achievement Award!) Responding to acid: You will criticize because women's achievements make you uncomfortable)

So when you're angry about a cyber event, and you're motivated to attack, and that's probably the episode that induces a traumatic experience in your life, or violates the moral bottom line of your personal values, it's highly recommended that you put your comments down for a while and think, "Why am I so angry?"

You can clarify your emotions through the "4 Why, 1 What" method.

Photo | Women's Fans Energy Workshop

(Extended reading: Written after Shirley's death: This introspection is not just about acid, it's about women's aversion)

First, ask yourself, "Why am I angry about the pick-up?" What may be behind it may be that "I used to trust, like her, and feel cheated."

Then ask yourself, "Why does the feeling of being cheated make you feel so angry?" You may conclude, "Because I have had experience of being betrayed in the past, seeing her do such a thing reminds me of the terrible memories of the past." 」

In the end, you go deep into the understanding of why you are still deeply concerned about betrayal. And you'll find that "I can't afford to love someone, unlike I think, make me feel like my love is cheap, or I can't love or deserve to be loved at all." 」

After four whys, to clarify the essence, you can go back and think, "What to do?" (What can I do)" By converting the unknown to known, you can clearly see what reasonable actions you can take that will help things move forward.

Layer by layer, you may find that emotions come from your expectations of others and the world, and that behind every emotion, there is your own life and journey, and when things exceed expectations and are beyond your control, you feel anxious, that the bastion of trust is broken, violated, and, in turn, that you protect the values you believe in with the act of aggression.

Once you realize this, you are actually a more mature person, you know that you can really grasp, is yourself, other people's good or bad right or wrong, is subjectively brought in, is the translation of emotions, you really should expect, is yourself, and really can not let yourself down, only you.