After the break-up, there is resentment, pain, pain does not matter! But don't forget to help yourself regroup your emotions and stabilize your energy. Even in the face of darkness, I still look forward to the day.

It was destined to be a sleepless night.

Starting with the lights off, as if there was a projector to light the ceiling of my room, the past scene was shown by the brain, forcing me to look, watching my eight-year relationship, and the end is a tragedy.

The gentle voice that had calmed me to sleep had deteriorated into a chain that controlled me. We want to destroy each other's feelings, in the end because of too much love for each other, or simple hatred, I have been unable to distinguish, just like I can not distinguish the tears and snot on my face, can only helplessly look at the love running horse lamp, showing my eight years of life.

Reorganize my life

Turn around, can't sleep at night. Finally I can't stand it, want to open the phone, listen to your voice again, I groped to the bedside table in the dark, "Pop!" I accidentally dropped a stack of pieces of paper. I turned on the lamp and found a stack of cards strewn across the floor - a small card from the Energy Management Workshop I attended last Sunday!

The moment I saw the card text, I subconsciously read, this moment, I forgot the task of looking for a mobile phone, I just concentrate on reading the above words

That day's course, in addition to teaching, discussion and writing study lists, there are also sent these cards, as a memorial, a reminder. And when I got home, I left it at the bedside, and I didn't expect to meet them again in the middle of the night, when I was so sleepless.

I flipped the card with a little emotion, recalling the solutions Taught in class for different "low-energy states", and finding out what I thought I needed most now - the third: "First Aid Lighthouse"!

Photo| Photo by Pangaea on PIXTA

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The first aid lighthouse that led me home

Like catching a life ring in the vast sea, I was sleepy, but the anxiety flew away in half. I sat up, turned on the headlights, turned on the course and lecturers and students that day, a question after thought and discussion and wrote down the study list, full of notes, wake up my memory of class.

I found the page "AED First Aid Lighthouse":

  • A: Ask directly
  • E: Experiment
  • D: Look for external data

A means "ask straight" and find the person who can help me most! Looking at the names I wrote down on the paper, my eyes lit up and then dimmed, because it was midnight, how do I find them awake? But I was depressed not a few seconds, then started to lift the spirit, because since the class, is to learn how to apply, otherwise what is the meaning of class?

So I turned to another way: "D: looking for external information", I look for information entrance, is to accompany me through the ambiguous stage, the relationship stability of that period of time of the women's fan site, I hit a few keywords, began a browse, extended reading is very telands me to keep point open, so always look down.

Finally, I found a 2019 article: Relationship Psychology After Breakup: Putting the Past Behind and Pursuing the Future, suggesting that you make a "list of shortcomings" for your predecessor when you're still struggling to put it down, and I decided to follow the "E: Experiment" in "AED First Aid Lighthouse" to see if you can really cure yourself.

I think of women's fan lecturer Guo Fuzhi Merci said that by writing, feelings can gradually stabilize their emotions. So, I began to write in the middle of the night, an A4 paper is not enough, I also took a second! My hand seems to have its own will to tell the story of the past eight years in person.

Photo|photo by nine koepfer on Unsplash

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Dark night, I am no longer afraid

Finally, the first dawn of the morning from the curtain gap through, it turned out that I actually wrote all the way to dawn. From flipping around in bed, gasping for air in fear, crying for help in your heart, to getting up and turning on the lights, reviewing the lessons attentively, and following the steps to find resources and start experimenting

Originally suppressed in the heart of that thick dark resentment and hate, gradually dispersed, as if out of so much space, enough to meet the morning sun, let me start to breathe freely.

Yes, tonight was destined to be a sleepless night, but I no longer helpless, although still fragile, but I decided not to helpless sob. I know I've let go of the loss and am on my way to recovery.

I know there are ways to take myself through, and in practice, I know I can, I have a way, I have power.