What happens between two people when the relationship goes into a long, close relationship? What can we do when there is a conflict to make each other feel "friendly and caring" rather than a source of stress?
As the Covid 19 outbreak heats up, many businesses are working from home (Work from home, WFH). Many couples, couples, began to work together at home, mr. M and I are no exception.
Working with loved ones may sound fantastic, but when you get along with each other for a long time and up close, blurred boundaries and expanded emotional ranges are a test of intimacy.
According to an April 2020 study by Indiana University, 34 percent of partners in intimate relationships also see a sharp decline in intimacy because of conflicts over working from home together, with a significant decrease in the number of hands, hugs and kisses. More worryingly, as conflict increases, partners become the main source of stress at home and have physical and mental health problems. [1]
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How to resolve the fatigue caused by continuous and uninterrupted long-term coexistence? We put forward five proposals for getting along, and each couple can adjust the way they interact with each other to find the most comfortable way for both of them.
Five long-term guides:
First, the line between life and work
Everyone has different roles in different environments, but when working from home, it's easy to blur the line between life and work.
In 2020, there are many foreign media reports that couples because they work from home together, to see their partner and the usual completely different side, which is a warmer, lovely part, but also because of the other half of the emotional pressure of the catharsis, resulting in a constant conflict between the two.
In the face of this situation, it is ideal to be able to work separately from one person, if the conditions do not allow, at least try to separate life from the work space, and divide the commute and work time. Not only can you create a sense of ritual at work, but you can also let each other know what state they are in and avoid interfering with each other during office hours.
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Share family affairs
When both people are at home, they will use the kitchen, toilet and so on, M and I the first conflict is who is responsible for washing dishes, who is responsible for cleaning the toilet. There should be a consensus to solve this problem, either A cooking, washing dishes for another person, or B being responsible for toilet tidying and another person being responsible for the kitchen area.
In the process, the most taboo in the other side of the rest time to add: "You have nothing to do now?" Can I wash my clothes by the way? Hear this and make sure the anger value runs directly through the brain door from the soles of your feet.
It is important to share the housework, but also don't forget the separation of commutes, when the other side is still at work, don't ask each other to do by the way, the relationship between the two people is harmful and not beneficial.
Third, arrange to do leisure and entertainment together
At this point in time, all social activities must be kept to a minimum, space is compressed at home, and many people may begin to experience "very depressed" emotional feelings.
Try to arrange leisure for two people to do together! Simple can start with chasing plays together, listening to music, if you want more mood, you can even camp together in the living room, eat a candlelit dinner, let the home can also become very interesting.
If you really can't think of anything to add to the fun of the little fun, you can try "relationship sync card card" to add fun. The other day, M and I were like, "What can I do for you now that will be very helpful to you now?"
I took this to suggest: "Now the beauty salon is not open, can you help me cut my hair?" Don't bite like a dog (laughs). So we played the hairdresser and guests at home, although the technology is completely unprofessional, but the process is very fun and funny, and finally reluctantly changed a refreshing hairstyle, but let the home full of happy atmosphere.
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Four, "we time" chat about each other's status
During the outbreak, people are inevitably afraid, whether it is worried about physical and mental health, or fear of unemployment, cash flow shortage, may be in this period, into a state of emotional anxiety, energy downturn.
So when two people work from home together, try to create a "We Time" time for two people, either 30 minutes before bedtime or dinner together after work.
In this time, and chat with each other about the mood at this moment, partners understand each other's psychological state, more able to stand in each other's position to think. When we express our inner uneasiness, some emotions can be placed, alleviated, and felt understood and supported, which can also increase the stability of intimacy.
(Recommended reading: Why do you get together longer and the colder your relationship?) Give a long-term partner: love, let each other know)
Five, exercise together to maintain physical and mental health
In addition to the mental state needs to be well cared for, we also don't forget that the body also needs to be well detox. There is a book called The Poison of Emotions, Body Knows, to the effect that physical and mental states are inextricably linked, that emotions affect physical performance, and that we trigger certain emotions in certain positions.
In order to keep the two people in a state of physical and mental health, you can arrange together at home can do exercise. M and I like to do yoga together, stretching, soothing, through each deep suction, deep vomiting, let the body remove the tension, we start from the Japanese style to the end of the big break, with praise, let each other synchronize.
Close reminder, the severe stage of the epidemic, minimize going out, but if necessary, still want to let themselves bask in the sun, to maintain physical and mental health.
Above, for couples who work from home and suddenly become extremely close, when you feel your partner is about to become the main source of stress, try to use the above five points to adjust each other's mode of life, don't let the outbreak, become a break in the relationship.