Are you familiar with your body? Do you know your desires? When you are ashamed or uncomfortable with your lust, let's use the Blush Deep Bed Cardto integrate sex into your daily routine and get along with your body.
On the day of the interview, the sun was falling slightly and it was a clear afternoon. Taipei's summer afternoon, always with a wave of squealing heat wave, is in the autumn, but do not feel that the summer has passed, but also in the sweat line all over the deployment to combat the temperature state, women fans interview in order to simultaneously podcast recording, a group of people pulled the scene to the studio.
Just in time, the remote participation of Xiao Wei has been online, Audrey a few seconds late to push the door into the door, into the door, then with her as always bright voice, with the atmosphere of the whole summer, Say Hi.
(Blush interview here listen: Why don't we dare to stare at "naked" self? In sex, the knowledge of the body and the knowledge of the mind are two different things! ）
Girls can also, the sexual complaints and experiences, attributed to the daily
Summer chatty, expecting a cacophony of stubbornness, open up those who do not want to face the truth, but Audrey says that to open up, it takes courage, "in fact, I am a woman deeply troubled by sexual shame, until now to master, or I still feel a deep sense of embarrassment when I talk about my sexual experiences," she says, noting that the sexual issue initiative, in part, is about returning energy to myself and, while building communities, feeling that we share an awkwardness and uncomfortable feeling. So we can sit down and talk, and we're just as uncomfortable, and it's comfortable.
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In 2020, women fans will launch the Blush Bed Card project, taking the essence of the blushing operation for 6 years, starting with "Interactive Mutual Assistance", by creating a set of emotional exploration interactive games, leading users to engage in sexual dialogue with themselves, with partners, and honey, and to attribute sexual complaints and experiences to the daily.
"In fact, when I started this fund-raising project on the platform last year, my heart was full of hesitation, and women fans had a variety of themes, including gender, homecoming, blushing, and the least good at, least discussed, least aware of how to approach was sex." Audrey says that last year, because of the creation of the Blushing Red Bed Card, xiao Wei, who has worked on the issue of women's sexuality for a long time, seemed to touch an oasis full of flowers in the poor desert. "Strictly speaking, Xiao Wei has gone through the stage of sexual fear, and having her involved can help me in the process to find ways I can talk and feel comfortable."
There are many uncomfortable things about women's "experientiality", "enjoyment", "telling sex" and "demandingness", because of complexity, from puberty onwards, women and the body will be formed between the ambiguous beam, swollen breasts, disordered menstruation, exploratory self-touch, wet leggings and mother's constant instructions - girls must not casually, to know how to protect themselves. These, have become overhead your body's tight spell, as if you step forward a little bit, there is a risk of falling.
Thus, we are all under extreme protection, taboo contact qualifications, to promote confusion and confusion coexist.
Yours should have the same rights
"There is too much understanding of women's bodies and emotions, and there is always an established vision of what this society should look like about sex, " Xiao Wei said. "When a woman's sex is imprisoned, the rest is a male interpretation of sex. "So when the world doesn't fully accommodate the understanding of the female body, sex is likely to become too stressful and ignore the woman's most important sexual organs, that is."
Take orgasm, when a woman's "sex organ" is secondary to the narrative of sex, it greatly reduces her orgasm experience, while the sense of time throughout the sex process is in the hands of one side, and the needs of the other are easily ignored.
Xiao Wei shares, causing women to have difficulty orgasm in sex for three reasons, one is to ignore the external stimulation; Second, there is not enough time to accumulate, relax, open, surrender to experience orgasm state; Third, faith sometimes affects the degree of relaxation and enjoyment of women's sex.
What is faith? The simple idea of "I shouldn't be a woman enjoying sex" or "Hey, I might not really be able to enjoy sex" can reduce the current sexual experience, Xiao wei said.
For a long time, the society left snow-white pearls on the girls, one side of the ear said, girl ah, protect their own hold, that is the most beautiful things on your body, so restricted in the bottom of my heart grow into a climbing window grass, seize that enjoy the pleasure of sex window, so that the sun can not see in.
"With those restrictive beliefs, it's easier to limit our imaginations about physical possibilities, and when women don't believe that their bodies have infinite possibilities to experience different kinds of pleasures and intensity, orgasms are hard to come by." Xiao Wei's speed of speech is fast and slow, and she can feel the anxiety of her eagerness to bring her ideas to the language.
Honey, my orgasm needs a little more time
Even though the two have long since gone from being young girls to light-touch women, Audrey is generous when it comes to sex, and it's not so much ease as practicing, "I often feel that at this point in the orgasm, the comfortable starting and ending points for women are not obvious compared to men, and I often start long before I suddenly find myself in a very arousal state." Audrey notes that when our bodies are not as good as men's, there is a clear timing for erection (sexual excitement / erection) and no end experience, and it is difficult to estimate the time required.
"Yes, a lot of people don't really have the right idea of how long it takes for a woman to orgasm." Xiao Wei immediately answered the conversation, and this past, like honey chat, the topic will be bit by bit poked in the core, the interlocutor and receiver can have a great resonance from it, in between, that one finally "understood" resonance is very shocking, in the dialogue, can feel, all girls, need to have a Xiaowei, slowly, let you tell the true feelings of the heart.
"For girls, there is at least 20 minutes on the foreplay, don't immediately touch sensitive organs, let the body fully unfold, to knock open that desire to be touched, and then further touch, will be the best, " Xiao Wei said, of course, behavior technology can be adjusted to achieve balance, the most important, or adjust values: "You really believe that they really deserve that kind of time, do not use embarrassed, cause other people's trouble to influence the experience, you know, Your body needs this time, so you should defend and protect your body completely, which is the so-called, I stand with my body, and when you get to that state, you can really open it.
You should truly believe that your orgasm is worth the time, and don't use being embarrassed and causing trouble for others to influence the sexual experience.
(Extended reading: After an orgasm, is there always an inexplicable sense of guilt?) Relationship Psychology: Sexual Communication is also the Only Way to Intimate Relationships )
As girls, how do we get back our orgasm narrative?
But what makes girls feel guilty about the time they need to be physically?
"As Audrey mentioned earlier, there are a lot of girls who can't even notice that they're already sexually excited, and that's a very critical message." 'Usually we understand orgasms, we think with very thought experience, it has a clear beginning, a clear termination, and it is visible, just the differences between the sexual organs and the body, so that the physiological male and female bodies in the sexual experience, sexual excitement patterns have a very substantial difference.'
"Even the so-called college school, it is nearly a decade, began to think about our general imagination of the model of sexual excitement, as if too central, and when girls imagine orgasm, always take another body experience to talk about our body 'how should it', you may think: I spent too long, I can not orgasm at all?" Remove those preset patterns that are installed on your body and get back to what your body really needs, and girls will find that the time you think is "more" is inevitable and necessary for your body.
Going back to retrieve a woman's own orgasm narrative requires some deliberate management, behavioral transition, long communication, or, with the help of some tools.
"That's why we want to push the Blu-for-face card, hoping to break the single perspective of thinking about sex in the past and let these potentially male-leaning, western-leaning minds go away little by little, and eventually we'll have the possibility of seeing the sun." Audrey with the fear of the past to avoid talking, all the way to this, hurried pace, there is a kind of I want to talk about my fear of stupidity, more, I can, believe you can also be wayward.
"It's actually like when Blush was created, it's hoped that Eastern women, especially in Taiwan, can have a good emotional experience, discussion and self-understanding, " Audrey said. Hope to see that there are many kinds of sexual faces, and girls care about the kind, should also be included.
And to create discussion is to create communities. 'Community is a very important space, it's almost a way for mainstream society to recognize something, so it has a lot to do with the community if the "sexual discussion" is to begin to change, ' Ms. Xiao said.
"This community can be as small as 'between me and my friends' or as large as social networking platforms, the media, and even small societies, and how these communities support each person's sexual orientation and the sexual experience they want is about the extent to which this matter is being looked at, accepted, and cared about," xiao said.
On the other hand, when sex can be discussed, it can be normalized, and people have more channels to understand what makes "sex" happen better, and everyone can express themselves more freely.
Create a multi-mix card: we're talking about women, the widest you can think of
In 2021, women fans will launch the second generation of Blush Deep Bed Card, continuing the spirit of the first generation and adding more "games with themselves" connotations, with users to integrate sexual experience, into daily life, into their relationships with their own, to expand and their body really get along.
"This time with Xiao Wei on the red card, we conducted a lot of user interviews, including transgender women within the women's fan team." Audrey notes that in an age of diversity, many people are cold about talking about gender and always feel that because of political correctness, "but the truth is that the core of diversity is Heiner, in inclusion, and we realize that everyone is different, so whether it's content discussion or product building, we want to create spaces where we can be more comfortable with each other."
When it comes to female lust, it's easy to put ourselves in the perspective of heterosexual women, in which the sexual desire of same-sex couples? What about the lust of transgender women? What is the part of their fear and expectation to be seen? This part, whether or not it is well undertaken in the same narrative, is quite important for Xiao Wei and Audrey.
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"When the red card was first released, I was actually stuck with a problem for a long time, " Audrey shared, "the product itself is to break the stereotype of "sex", then how can I in the card design head, to accommodate different Gender identity, different sexual orientations, what do I say, do my pronouns use "she" or "he", and when I refer to an other partner, do the nouns I choose contain different possibilities, and at the same time, open relationships?
When the product itself is in a very contemporary topic, all discussion leads to an essential discussion, and when we talk about femininity and expect to embrace the greatest number of conventions that empathe with each other, is there a small part of the voice that is lost to those discussions?
"To avoid these situations, in the text and images of the Red Card, we want to be able to blur the gender boundaries a little bit, you don't see the image as a boy, a girl, or immediately fall into the heterosexual perspective, and in the process, we expect to create: there are all kinds of bodies in the world, you can play with women's bodies, you can play with men's bodies, and we want to talk about "women" is the widest you can imagine."
With such a beginning, Audrey and Xiao Wei interviewed transgender women on the team to see the product from his perspective: "If this card wants to include the needs of transgender women, what can the team adjust?"
(Extended Reading:The Story of the Women's Fan Team: Every Day Here, I'm Enjoying the Happiness of Diversity and Integration)
Audrey says that many times experiences are difficult to move from one body to another, so all cognitions stop at guesswork, and you only know that Heiner's "commonality" under the greatest convention of women's collective perception is more common than you might think.
"For example, you hear transgender women say that when they look in the mirror, they still don't know how to face themselves, and on the one hand you find this inner entanglement very moving, and on the other hand, you feel that it's the same thing as when I stand in front of a mirror and look at myself."
The commonality of experience occurs when the dialogue begins, only to know that in sex, where we hate ourselves, when naked, we are afraid to see our own parts, no matter where that part is, are our shared physical experiences.
"For me, seeing the commonality of women's physical experiences in interviews is the most precious gift we've ever received, and that gift is seeing the diversity and integration, and the same thing that's precious."