Lu Xinjie, who continues to promote the issue of equal rights, always gives the feeling of being straight and fearless, but when it comes to her own affairs, she admits that she is also vulnerable, afraid of the times, in the face of life brought difficulties, how did she cope?
Xin Jie gives the first impression, is shuttle in the social movement, fearless, tenacious spiritual figures. However, playing an important role in mass communication, for her, there are actually moments of fear.
"Sometimes I get a little unconscious, " many people might think in the course of the social movement initiative, when organizing campaigners are bound to be "politically correct" at times, but Xin Jie admits that she also has moments when she subconsciously creates stereotypes.
This is the norm for everyone. With the accumulation of life experience and the formation of the education system, most of the time our subconscious judgment will come with the presets of the social system, which often appear in the "unconscious" state when the brain needs to quickly judge the classification.
Xin Jie said don't rush to self-denial, "accept yourself first" because our experience is unique. When we realize this idea, we can think about the possibility of being exposed to different human things, and the brain will change its circuits.
Many times the most difficult is to accept that they have such an idea, Xin Jie mentioned that some people will emphasize that they are not biased, very objective, but no one can be completely objective. This is not to blame each other, but rather to see these unconscious thinking, so as to examine whether there is no room for greater communion and elevation to a conscious level.
Social movements are like sharing food and inviting each other to try it
When we can think unconsciously, change cognitive circuits, and reacquaint ourselves with the world, we can talk more softly to people from different growth processes and understand their growing background.
In practice, how to pass the idea to different people, Xin Jie said, "At different levels, different Key people are needed, but more importantly, communication is outward." She mentioned that when she first started to engage in social sports, it is inevitable that some romantic character, constantly to their ideal of the road, faith is only in the stratosphere. So Xin Jie realized, "To change the social movement, we need a group of people to go together. " Her metaphor is like sharing food, rather than talking to each other about delicious, it is better to invite each other to try to eat, such an experience is likely to have an impact on others, and even society as a whole.
This is also the concept of the Rainbow Equal Rights Platform, through different ways, the seeds of "communication" spread out. However, Xin Jie mentioned that after the implementation of the Same Marriage Act 2019, the number of partners in the initiative has dwindled, and more people are expected to continue to join. The platform currently has the Rainbow Citizen Initiative, which invites people interested in gay issues to participate in street visits and get to know the ideas of different people.
"What we want to do is not persuasion, it's understanding. Understand what people who are not in the stratification are thinking? We can't know the communication strategy until we understand. Society does not change itself, it needs everyone's efforts. In the process of sports promotion, it is not only unilateral output, need to understand each other's thinking patterns, the two sides can create intersection points. Such actions require open-minded listening, which Xin Jie says is an important exercise.
Through practical interviews, Xin Jie also realized that she and her partners may also be preconceived, such as the elderly are less receptive to gay issues. But after the conversation, it was discovered that some people, in fact, just did not have the opportunity to understand such a topic, or even accept it. Through dialogue, mutual views can be exchanged, and campaigners can be more aware of how to formulate action strategies.
Ask yourself before responding to expectations whether it's important to others or to yourself
After so long campaigning for equal rights, Xin said with a smile that she would rather have a rest than cheer herself on. Referring to her workaholic personality, she doesn't regret any decisions she's made, just wants to spend more time with her family and herself. Compared with the high intensity of participation in the past, Xinjie has had more time to take care of himself in the past two years.
From 2016 to 2019, she notes, there are many high-impact decisions to be made, often attacked by dissenting parties and even anonymous online abuse. Although she would tell herself to focus on the bigger picture, the wounds were still building up in her heart. At that time, she will self-doubt what else is not good enough, is not not to meet who's expectations, she will find a way to meet the expectations of the outside world.
"I was really stuck in that state and thought I wasn't doing enough, not enough, and I was going to try hard, try hard, and not have a day off." However, the surrounding differences of opinion, can not be satisfied at the same time, until the body and mind are exhausted, Xin Jie can not help but ask themselves: "What am I doing?"
She said it was only one day recently, sitting in front of a computer, that she suddenly realized, "The people who want me to do this and do that are actually the ones who think it's important, but hopefully I'll help him do it."
Before, she would be anxious to respond to these expectations, and now she would ask herself, "What about my expectations?" For example, the issue of equal rights, his expectations and ideas, what he wants me to do, can I do it? Or do I want to do it? Through the separation of subjects, we can clearly separate their ideas from the expectations of others, while maintaining their own stable energy output, not in the treatment of various issues, into a state of exhaustion.
And how do you restore your energy? Xin Jie smiled and said that he had a friend whose most important job every day was to tell himself, "I'm great!" after everything I've done. In the past she would think about where not good enough, but friends said, why are you so tired, you have to tell yourself first is great!
Sister's illness, let me know that life is not called perfect
Friends of the point of reference such as irrigation top, concerned about the outside world's line of sight gradually turned inward, Xin Jie said this, recommend that we do not be afraid to do psychological consultation, that is the same way, in a safe state, return to the emotions and injuries that have not known how to face, accompany themselves, from the expired self-protection fear, released.
Shinjie had a tattoo on her left arm, Love Sina Forever, Sina's sister's name, and her left arm was the closest to the heart.
Xin Jie's sister died eight years ago, and now she talks about her sister, who suffered from a rare complex heart attack, her eyes will suddenly turn red, "I have been learning this since childhood, my sister has a disease that will not be good, you can't just want to cure her, " this matter, let her realize that life is not called perfect, "life is imperverse, something you can not predict."
These insights are after the rectification of their own, once Xinjie also complained, avoided, "remember is high school, my sister in the ward blood test, because she is very small, blood vessels are particularly fine difficult to draw." I know it's not the doctor's fault, but the doctor is to tie her blood vessels, the child can't control, she has been crying, beside me I really have a kind of vertebral pain. She ran out of the ward in frustration, venting her emotions, until more stable, only to return to the ward and her mother to apologize for her disorder, did not expect her mother told her: "It doesn't matter you can run, but if I run, only my sister is alone here."
"I think it affects me a lot, a lot of things are very painful, you want to escape, but after you escape, it is still, " said the mother, let her gradually understand that escape although short-term useful, but it will not disappear, will not be because you escape, do not have to deal with this matter.
Of course, it is not to completely remove negative emotions, can only think positively, but learn to coexist with it, allow themselves to escape for a short time, but to find the courage to come back. 'It may sound like eight strands, but that's what she's learning, ' Mr. Xin said with a laugh.
Different stages of life experience, let us learn different views and angles of things, but it is not from this suddenly open-minded. It is a continuous and gradual process, from which no one can become no longer afraid, no longer afraid, but in the fear and fear, find the energy to stand up and become the next time to face the difficulties of nutrients. XinJie and we share, new topics will continue to come, but we can choose to believe in themselves a little more.