From the weekend to this week, Wang Lihong's divorce incident and Li Lianglei's declaration have aroused the energy of facing up to and discussing "housework" and "fake single parents", etc. Women fans do not make comments on individuals, we hope that in the limelight such as "fake single parents" and "gender labor" in the society, we will promote the initiatives of the issues that women fans have always cared about, and share and grow with users: what we care about together, our attitude, and which we think should reserve space.
After a weekend of Wang Lihong's divorce, Wang Lihong apologized on Monday (December 20): "Thinking left and right, men should still bear all the responsibility." It is always not easy to apologize, but regardless of personal difficulties, men or women of any gender do not have to and cannot bear all the responsibilities.
Men don't have to, and shouldn't, take "all the blame"
Feminism, in fact, has always spoken out for men, and does not have to fall into the traditional gender trap. It is those who fail to take responsibility, not one gender, who should be held accountable. Women are the same as men and are the same other gender that can/are taking responsibility.
In any case, no gender has to, cannot, and does not need to oppress itself within a gender framework. When a person oppresses himself within the framework of traditional gender oppression, he believes that this is the only reason for looking at the situation that is happening to him, and at the same time, he also oppresses other people of the same gender.
And we believe that our society is ready for a more rational and comprehensive discussion.
And "men should take all the blame" has always been a myth, not something that can actually be done or done. There is no gender that bears all the responsibilities. Nor is there any gender role that can actually take on all the responsibilities.
Gender equality or feminism, in intimate relationships, advocates discussion with partners and shared responsibilities. Feminism has always been about liberating all people from oppression and restriction under the framework of gender, and the intersection of women, men, transgender, different sexual orientations, different racial class cultures and genders is within the scope of feminism.
Feminism is no longer a return to dualistic opposition and gender naturalism, and gender roles are tied to death.
Discussions that do not take a dualistic approach, feminist care, non-binary individual antagonisms, you live and die, often return to the overall social structure with a broader perspective, look at systemic problems, and see how many similar situations are still happening, and people fail to take care of them.
Our attitude and position in this discussion
From a long article by a weekend woman fan ( Wang Lihong destroying herself , not Li Lianglei 's pen | Wang Lihong divorced: In Li Lianglei 's five-thousand-word long text , what do you see? 〉, we talk about the presupposition of housework, and talk about the mainstream media's "destructive bidding". From the descriptions of "mother-in-law problem" and "ma bao", we talk about the weakness and total responsibility of women in the Chinese context. From Wang Lihong's father's statement, we talked about the care workload of three children, and also talked about the "natural mother's surname/parenting tendon" that women are expected by pseudoscience. It is also pointed out that when public opinion analyzes Li Lianglei's "writing structure, smart writing", it is actually a clear praise and a dark criticism, and the real heart is a hope for women to be silent.
We also talked about the real hope that through the society's discussion of an event, we can begin to face up to the above system problems and no longer use the weakness of women in the context system.
For us, this incident can be a reflection and action in the context of a whole society, not entangled in the curiosity of Wang Lihong's gossip or emotional relationship, giving room for growth, putting the reflection force on the collective dilemma of women as wives and mothers, how to solve and open a discussion, that is the beginning of the growth of a whole society.
The thinking of women fans is like this: focus on the collective dilemma, and give content that has the value of intellectual views no matter what
- Focus on structural dilemmas: Point out social structural issues, talk about "how to discuss and view this matter in the society", do not focus on individual private issues, if extended, we hope to give thinking and action proposals.
- As a company with communication power, every move is to think ahead about this content/this community, "whether there is intellectual opinion value in any way". Content and community that lack the value of knowledge are easy to lose their value and position after the wind changes. We don't seek speed, we don't pursue a momentary reading touch. Reading is the means, the results we hope to make when we have what we want to say, not the goal.
Our caution, with what we don't do
- Not a man-made god: We don't put anyone on the altar, everyone who goes to the altar will fall heavily, we are talking about the "discussion" led by Li Lianglei, regardless of what kind of person she is. Without making man a myth, no one is a god, and the point is that the "discussion" raised is important in itself. Harris, the creator of women's fans, writes very well at this point, there is no need to idealize any individual, and in the lessons of Wang Lihong's overturning of the car, no one needs to get too close to the car. (Recommended reading: Psychologists see Li Lianglei and Wang Lihong divorced: do not idealize any relationship, in the face of unhappy marriage, no longer choose silence )
- Don't label people: We should not make Wang Lihong's "scumbag", "scum", "mom/dad" evaluation, nor do we make evaluations such as "Lei Shen" and "Lei Sister" to Li Lianglei, belittling or exalting, which is not helpful to any party in the long run.
- Not stepping on binary opposites: We're talking about "how society views/discusses this issue", such as the mainstream media using women's weakness in contextual language to try to flatten an important issue (and a person)
- No gossip: The emotional relationship between Wang Lihong or Li Lianglei or anyone involved in the event is their own private matter and choice, and has nothing to do with the public. Even if the morality of the masses is not the same, except for the parties, if they do not involve criminal acts such as violation of will, the public has no room for beak.
Among the women's fan community and users, we also see a tendency to positive discussion
Also in this incident, we saw female fans and users in the retweet sharing of community users, and the focus in this incident was on social discussion, rather than private gossip. In the housework, he exchanged views with his partner, invited his relatives and friends in community sharing, and re-examined the whole incident in such a way that he did not hunt and did not gossip.
We believe that starting from everyone's small actions and small invitations, this society can get better and better, more worthy of expectation, more powerful and freer every day.