No longer worried about the past and the future, the female fan editor invites you to reorganize your life and enjoy the present more consciously through writing and reading.

Have you been doing well lately? In the past two years, because of the epidemic, it has more or less affected everyone's lifestyle, which may be limited in mobility, or it may be that there is a shift from physical to remote to work.

At one level, people are less connected and have more time with themselves. And such moments, for me, are often panicked and powerless, because of the inner emotions, the unknown disorder, there is no excuse to escape.

Women fans have a tradition, "If you had to describe yourself with three keywords, what words would you choose?"

The first time I answered this question, my head was blank, and I searched the entire brain database, and I couldn't find any words to describe myself, so I used a few outsiders to evaluate me as my key words, but an intuition told me that it was not me. So... who am I?

Writing this, I also want to invite you who are reading, if you use three keywords, how will you explain yourself?

This soul torture has become my biggest problem this year, when I become a small frame of video footage, who am I? When I'm the only one in the whole space, who am I?

I tried a lot of ways to dig myself, including crystal healing, Mayan calendar, and cards, but there are limits to the exploration of tools, and for me, reading and writing can help me organize my thoughts and face my heart more consciously.

In the last month of this year, I set myself a new goal of writing down a thank you for myself every day in the Play with time handbook, no matter how small I will record, such as: thank you for completing your work, thank you for memorizing a few English words, thank yourself and others for saying your true feelings.

Daily gratitude diary in action. Images | provided by the author

Sometimes, you may wonder, "There's nothing to be thankful for, what's the use of writing that?" At one point I wanted to give up on my plan. But as I accumulated nearly half a month's worth of content, the words gradually gained power, making me more aware of what I was doing and more willing to encourage myself.

Occasionally, when frustrated, looking back at these contents, I may even be encouraged by my past self, "The past has persisted, how can I give up now?" Writing a gratitude diary has become the moment when I can maintain a stable output and be closest to myself after a busy day, and I can gradually grasp the way of my life.

Recently I have also read a few books on "getting along with myself", and I have always thought, I am what I am! Where else don't you know? It wasn't until endless exhaustion and melancholy struck that I realized that this body that I lived with every day was not familiar at all. It is always waiting until you are sick to "see" their existence.

Maybe that's why I can't find the key words to describe myself, because my consciousness is never in the present, not in myself, often worrying about the past, worrying about the future, and many moments are unconscious life.

Next year I give myself a key word is "repositioning", decided to know myself well, take care of myself, when I am closer to my heart, know the deepest desire in my heart, I have a way to accompany myself at the low point of energy.

"A person who knows what he is living for can endure any kind of life." - Nietzsche

If, like me, you have lived unconsciously for a while, in addition to writing a gratitude diary, I would also like to recommend five good books and invite you to read them together.

First, the low tide period does not require yourself to get better immediately

In the past, I didn't know myself because I had sealed most of my "self." No negative, no pessimism is allowed, and when you enter a low ebb state, you will wonder if you are "not working hard enough".

Annabelle. Gonzalez's 5 Positive Psychology Lessons on Bad Emotions, Becoming Good Things Started Me To Be Aware of Negative Emotions, and it mentions that we can observe: How do I treat myself when I'm depressed, depressed, or tired? Through such practice, I stripped myself of my own thinking cycle and changed the way I treated myself.

In the past, I just let myself panic and bite my fingers, and if the situation did not get alleviated, I would turn to blame myself.

However, now I try to take care of my own needs, the mood is low on behalf of me now that I am not in a good state, do not require myself to get better immediately, give myself a little elastic rest, such as: to exercise, listen to music, briefly withdraw from charging. Wait until your body and mind are ready before proceeding to the next step.

(Extended reading: What to do during low tides?) 7 Questions, Gentle Companion Yourself, Be Your Own Cheerleader )

Practice stopping the mind and returning to the present moment

Emotions are a reminder, but they don't represent our true selves, and sometimes we may be stimulated by too many external things, and our thoughts are constantly spinning. Therefore, it is an important exercise to get yourself back into the present moment, first explore the mind to stabilize the mind, and then try to write down your observations about yourself.

Peng Shujun's "Believe that Good Things Will Happen Today: The Fulfillment of Thoughts in Writing" is his record of meditation writing, which is different from the style of Duoduo Whisper, and is more of a deep dialogue with the soul.

I like him to write: "Meditation is to relax the body, to calm the mind, to let the mind rest, to contemplate the inner and outer worlds in the absence of thought, without the operation of the mind, without the intervention of emotions, without past and future, only with pure awareness of the present." So meditation is awareness."

On closer inspection, many people are shrugging their shoulders all day long, in a state of readiness, and physical relaxation can improve their mood.

(Same scene plus: Peng Shujun special text| meditation is the process of getting close to yourself, seeing the most beautiful flower inside )

Third, even if you fail, give yourself another chance

Audrey is one of the role models in my heart, and I first met him because of the interview with women fans, Audrey talked about his vulnerability, fear, fear. In the past, when I looked at the glittering people, I would always have a slight sense of inferiority, especially when the other person's age was similar to my own.

But Audrey revealed it to me how he became the Audrey he is today, not overnight, but a gradual accumulation.

"If the Ideal Life Is Still Halfway" records his observations of small things, and it is these cute days that make him. He practiced cultivating a leisurely heart in the chaotic life of soldiers and horses, enjoying eating and enjoying life, not only consciously contemplating himself, but also learning the wisdom of living in the world from his hairy child Hu Ji.

Audrey said, "All I have to do is learn tiger ji, take cat-like steps, and move forward steadily." It really doesn't work, it doesn't matter, just do it again." Yeah, why not do it again?

Photo | Photo by Ushico on PIXTA

(You'll like: Interview with Woman Fan Editor-in-Chief Audrey: You have the ability to take yourself to any far away place)

Fourth, change the angle and see different aspects of yourself

Many times my understanding of myself comes from the evaluation of others. Social norms and the expectations of others are often the standards by which we define ourselves, so sometimes "being ourselves" may be confused with "being an excellent self in the eyes of others" . I've always been such a person.

When I do something, I often think, "Will they think... or "OO may not like this, maybe I should..."

After reading Lai Peixia's "The Power of Transferring Thoughts", I realized that I had never asked myself: "Honey, what do you think?" Old inertial thinking limited my horizons. Sometimes the first instinct response may not be the most authentic self, and there are many frameworks in it.

In the book, through the real stories of Lai Peixia and the students, the actual practice of how to "change thoughts" in life, next time before acting, try to ask yourself, do you really think so?

(Recommended reading: Lai Peixia's special article | "The Power of Transmutation": Feeling that you are not perfect, is it true?

The wound can be a crack or a beautiful mark

Finally, I would like to share Matthew McConaughey's autobiographical novel Green Lantern. This is a life love letter that he has written to himself as he looks back on the past fifty years of his life.

I admired his attitude towards life, even if he was injured, but did not feel like a victim; I admired him for combing through his life and talking to himself at every stage. Perhaps there is pain and sadness in life, which have become his beautiful marks.

I was surprised that he looked at his life in that way, which meant that he had enough knowledge of himself and calmly accepted a different look of himself. And such a him, in the words between the lines to give people the feeling of richness and fullness.

He wrote a verse in the book: "Because there is no way to escape and are forced to face ourselves, our ugly daily repression is in turmoil, we find ourselves in the same room with the sense of repression, and decide 'enough' or 'let it collapse'" And then he writes: "Whatever the judgment, we will grow." There are only us and us in the world, and the ego will always be our only companion. We take care of ourselves and make friends with ourselves again." Befriending a different self, I saw matthew McConaughey so much better at being himself.

(Extended reading: Matthew McConaughey confessions: In this life, I got a few scars, but I never felt like a victim )

Invitation from the editor

Honey, do you like the recommended books this month? I hope that through these five good books, you can find the most comfortable way to get along with yourself.

If you have any topics you want to see and understand, welcome to the women's fans IG private message us. If this month's editor selects a book, after you read any resonance, ideas, welcome to share reading experience in your own community, and hashtag #迷人共讀, your content will have the opportunity to be forwarded to the women's fan IG, or included in the women's fan website articles!