For body anxiety, the way to give yourself self-confidence is not just a slogan, but a practical action. The Blush Deep Bed Card gives you two practices of reconciling with your body and finding happy sex together!
Have you ever worried about your body shape during sex?
This society gives the world too many definitions of perfect body, from advertisements, commodities, celebrities, we are indoctrinated again and again to be like them, no trace of extra flesh, smooth skin without fine lines, chest, waist, thin hips, tall and strong legs, big eyes, red lips and small face... is a perfect man/woman.
When we are told all the time what a "good-looking" body should look like, if we don't look like those people, it seems that the figure becomes inferior, flawed, and even the personality may be labeled, such as "laziness", "unhealthy", "lack of perseverance" and so on.
(Discuss more:[Gender Watch] "Small face, big eyes, red lips" Instagram filter: cookie-cutter beauty, are you tired? ）
But honey, is this really the truth? Do you wonder about this phenomenon and question it out loud – why are they defined as "perfect" the same as I am being defined as "imperfect"?
If you have also experienced this anxiety, the following scenarios may reach the peak of anxiety:
After getting closer and closer to the people we like, in addition to the honesty of the heart, we will also ignite the desire to kiss the skin. But after the clothes are faded, feeling the naked gaze of our partners, what we feel is not only shy, but also a little uneasy?
So we ask the lights to dim, we ask the other person not to look, we get into the quilt as soon as we take off our clothes, we hide it, we feel twisted...
When the anxiety about the body is like a snowball, it will make it impossible for us to feel the pleasure of sex.
Photo | Photo by Fast & Slow on PIXTA
What is extinguished is the anxiety of the body
If we take the microphone and visit the people who want to talk and stop talking, the words in the bottom of the heart between the beds, we will hear...
- "When I have sex, it's always hard for me to completely let go."
- "When my partner asks me how I like to be touched, I get confused."
- "My partner wants me to be more proactive in bed, but I don't know how to start..."
So in the awkward atmosphere of deep fear of doing something wrong, the ambiguous atmosphere accidentally disappeared without a trace. We even hear the words of some girls:
- "My sister is not pink, asymmetrical, fragrant enough..."
The color is not right, the shape is not right, the smell is not right... but honey, do you really know what it really looks like?
There is no perfection, only uniqueness; what is yours is yours, and "she" is unique.
Whether you like your own sexual organs or not is very much related to good sex
The body anxiety that plagues us often comes from inadequate and misinformation, that is, people don't know how to have a safe and fun sex activity.
For example, if today we truly like our outside, we will:
- Less worry about the shape and color of the vulva, and more attention to the subtle feelings of the moment.
- We can enjoy the pleasure of our partner for us more comfortably.
In the photo album "Sex Study Room", Jane, a sex therapist, introduces a website with a variety of female vulva illustrations (The Vulva Gallery) to help students accept what their sexual organs look like. As a result, the students made many cupcakes with different appearances.
Each vulva is so special that it deserves our appreciation and celebration!
(Extended reading: Labia left and right asymmetry good anxiety? Embracing a collection of authentic illustrations )
Tonight for you, two good exercises with the body
In fact, we can start with a very simple place: first reconcile with our own body. Because we believe --
When a person knows how to create his own pleasure, he also knows how to play with other people.
The original "Blush Deep Bed Game Card" for women fans is a tool for getting to know your body well:
1. Card 20: Vulvar Gaze Exercise
Before and after the shower, hold a hand mirror, gaze carefully at yourself, and then record the emotions you feel and the words you want to give.
This exercise is called "vulvar gaze" and helps us slowly build up our sense of intimacy with our own sexual organs.
The first time we practice, we can give ourselves 15 minutes, and then we can watch it for 2 or 3 minutes a day to feel the change in our feelings about "her".
Bring this habit of awareness into your daily routine and give "her" a unique time. Quietly appreciate, cheerful feelings. Gradually, you will find that "she" is uniquely cute and irreplaceable, so "she" becomes an inseparable part of you, loving "her", that is, loving yourself.
2. Card 7: "Naked, Take a Pen" exercise
Choose a comfortable environment and leisurely time, turn off the complicated message notification first, put on the relaxing music you like, and light the favorite fragrance candle.
Gently shed her clothes, naked, her hands moving on her side, touching and feeling every inch of her body.
Take a pen and write down your feelings about it on each part of your body and express your gratitude and love for "it."
At the same time, I also try to allow myself to feel anxious about parts of the body that I don't like very much.
When we are willing to take a moment each day to appreciate what we love and allow those uncomfortable feelings to exist, that's the way to get closer to ourselves.
Intimate focus review finishing: 5 questions and 5 answers
Q: What is body anxiety?
When the figure cannot meet the aesthetic standards of the general society, it will bring psychological pressure to the person concerned to think that his appearance is inferior to others.
Q: What are the effects of body anxiety?
Caring too much about your body shape will lead to the inability to focus on sexual pleasure smoothly during sex, and affect the smoothness of overall sex.
Q: How do I have sex?
You can start by knowing your own body, loving the body, every skin, and attaching importance to your own sexual pleasure, you can bring the matter of making love to a realm where you are happy with each other.
Q: What should I do if my sister (outside) is not good-looking?
Each exterior is unique, without a specific color, shape, or even aroma.
Q: How do you know your body?
You can do exercises through the "Blush Deep Bed Card", such as "vulvar gaze" and "naked pen", to better understand your body and love yourself more.