In Xu Ruoxuan's eyes, any form of companionship is love, do you think?
People in the corners of the city, because of loneliness and meet, accompany each other for a while, do not talk about love, is it also love?
"Love is broad, and companionship is also a form of love. Isn't it?" Xu Ruoxuan asked softly.
Willing to give, but also able to perceive the giving of others, such a person, the definition and imagination of love must be generous: love can be transformed into a variety of forms, do not always have to struggle fiercely, you chase me, the appearance of love, there is not only one answer.
Recently, Xu Ruoxuan starred in the movie "First Love Slow Half Beat", directed by Chen Junlin of "One Night in Taipei" and supervised by Li Yaohua. Xu Ruoxuan is very affectionate, "Li Yaohua is a filmmaker who loves movies with his life, and he has not cooperated for 12 years, of course, he immediately agreed."
"First Love Slow Half Beat" is the opening film of the 2022 Taipei Film Festival, the story touches on "sister-brother love", but also talks about the form of single mother-child interaction: one is a mother who is overly dependent on her son, and the other mother is the opposite. The two mothers are intertwined in the movie, the theme is rare, and Xu Ruoxuan also wants to try.
In the film, she plays the assistant manager of the hotel, the single mother "Lele", asking her what is the same as the character in the play, Xu Ruoxuan laughed and said that there are very few, almost none, and Lele has a kind of freedom that can be taken up and put down when treating children. "I can't do it, I can't do it."
Photo courtesy of Xu Ruoxuan |
When the idea is determined, there is no hesitation: I am pregnant at the age of 40 and bedridden for four months
Xu Ruoxuan was 40 years old when she was pregnant, and she wanted the child to be safe, so she received hundreds of injections and installed a fetus in bed for more than four months. But at the moment of pregnancy, I only have one idea, that is, to let the child be born safely. I did everything for that idea."
Xu Ruoxuan said that he was not too worried about small things, and where the goal was, it was right to move forward. "I don't spend too much time complaining, life is very short, if you are not happy you choose to leave, if you want to stay, you have to find a way to be happy." 」 This is the only thing she has in common with Lele as a mother.
Taking pregnancy as an example, he said, since the goal has been determined that the child will be born safely, bedridden during pregnancy is necessary, she will do it, not thinking about hard work. "Just think about it."
"At that time, I was waiting for delivery in Singapore, and the medical environment in Singapore was all in English, some professional terms such as 'contractions', etc., I actually did not understand, during this period, I put all the relevant English words of production on the wall, and in those four months, I turned the room into an English classroom, and there was also the joy of learning." 」
Stay, be happy. "But there is only one exception," Xu Ruoxuan stopped, suddenly a little serious, "in case of domestic violence, please be sure to leave." Everyone is a parent and a baby."
(Guess what you want to see: "The counselor also has fears, so he can accompany you forward" 4 transfer exercises: In the dark, companionship is strength)
The picture | stills of "First Love Slow Half Beat"
"Any companionship is love, love is great"
In "First Love Slow Half Beat", Xiao Hong, who is single in the mother's womb, and LeLe meet in the hotel, and gradually accompany each other, and the story between the two is both special and intriguing.
I said, the two are just with each other, aren't they?
Xu Ruoxuan gently shared: "In fact, any companionship is a kind of love, love is very large, and it is not easy to accept a person to accompany." She thought about it and added, "There are so many different loves to explore in this world."
Lele is lonely and does not believe in love, but when she meets a lovely, harmless, and undesirable person, she does not refuse. XiaoHong is like a warm light, illuminating the world's gradually different colors. And Xiao Hong's love for an independent, brave and attractive sister is not surprising. After all, sisters are always cute.
In real life, friends often say that Xu Ruoxuan is "Sister Qiao"--the Joe of Qiao's affairs.
"I love my friend so much that I like to help people," Xu Ruoxuan laughed. Willing to help, like to help, because she was once a person who was helped. "When I was in trouble, many people helped me. I know what it's like to be warmed up, so if someone needs help, I try to help."
When I was in difficulty, many people helped me. Knowing what it's like to be warmed up, I try my best if someone needs help.
Those who receive support can support others when they can. I can give because I have the power to pay, and if the power I have gained is not my own, I can share it.
(Same scene plus screening: "Lonely Taste" director Zhou Ji | I saw Xu Ruoxuan, all encounters are regarded as "their own people")
The picture | stills of "First Love Slow Half Beat"
In a single-parent family, the love given by mother and sister is much, much
Growing up in a single-parent family, Xu Ruoxuan talked about her mother's kindness, and her eyes were grateful, "The love she gave to her children is many, many, so we can become stronger and stronger, not broken." 」 Until now, there have been very close ties between the family, and my sister has given her great support along the way, "For 47 years, my sister is also my best friend, she is the one who knows me best, takes the most care of me, loves me and does not ask for anything in return." 」
Xu Ruoxuan said that she has been active since she was a child, "like a little boy, she will go outside to climb trees and fight with boys, and her sister is relatively introverted." When we were bullied in middle school, I tried to get to know the people in the bubble tea shop, it seems that there are very strong friends as backers, others will not bully me and my sister!" 」 While speaking, Xu Ruoxuan showed a mischievous expression.
At the age of 14, she began to earn money to support her family, Xu Ruoxuan likes to protect and take care of the people she loves, and in interviews she often says that she is the father of the family and earns money to take care of her family. She was in charge of making money, her sister took care of the administration and finances, these things, she said there was really no way without her sister.
Xu Ruoxuan's home is a division of labor, taking care of each other, and there is no rigid gender role. When she started her family, her tone was full of pride, pride to build together, and now, she is also learning to be a mother.
(Extended reading: "Must a single-parent family grow up unhappy?") Cultivating the 3 Consciousnesses: Rewriting the Letter, Seeing the Limitations of Parents, and Returning The Fate)
Becoming a mother is the process of finding your own answers
"First Love Slow Half Beat" presents two very different mother-child relationships, oscillating back and forth between excessive closeness and excessive alienation. Also as a mother, Xu Ruoxuan said that if Le Le and Xiao Hong's mother in the play were her friends, she would invite the two to read books about child psychology together.
"Parents have too much influence on their children, and they don't have enough knowledge, and they will use their own personality to educate their children." If luck is a brave, optimistic, powerful, and stable person, then the child is lucky. But what if it's not?"
During the time when she was pregnant and bedridden, Xu Ruoxuan not only learned English, but also read a lot of books related to mother and baby, especially psychology content, which allowed her to have some new perspectives to observe herself.
"I want to learn how to bring up children with wisdom, and in the process, I have also reflected and changed. After all, it is the answer that you find yourself, and you will change. Being a mother gives me the motivation and motivation to change myself and become a better person." When Xu Ruoxuan said this, there was deep love in his tone.
Photo courtesy of Xu Ruoxuan |
It is the answer you find yourself, and you are more motivated to change.
The birth of a new life is also an opportunity to rediscover oneself. Talking with Xu Ruoxuan, she found that she was unwilling to let go of any opportunity to let herself grow: every journey of life, she had to squeeze out nutrients from it.
The next part, "Interview with Xu Ruoxuan: Being loved will still be lonely, because we have never accompanied ourselves well", we talk about how Xu Ruoxuan accompanies herself through loneliness in different identities.