"Instead of calling on everyone to see how a person dies, it is better to witness how this person lives." Xu Yifei, Taiwan's first officially certified "send-off" in Japan, not only deals with the aftermath of the deceased, but also advocates pre-life experience and memory preservation - what kind of opportunity made her choose to step into the industry that is critical to life and death?
Have you watched the Korean drama "Hotel Druna"?
In the play, the hotel president "Zhang Manyue", played by singer IU, is responsible for fulfilling the unfulfilled wishes of the deceased moored in the club, which may be an apology that is too late to speak, or a love that has never been expressed well; When the wish is fulfilled, send them on the final journey to heaven.
IN TAIWAN, THERE IS ALSO A GIRL LIKE ZHANG MANYUE, IN ADDITION TO HER APPEARANCE FULL OF AURA, SHE ALSO HAS A HEART THAT KNOWS HOW TO EMPATHIZE AND EMPATHIZE - SHE IS THE "CHIEF" OF "HEGUANGLI HEKALI", CONCUBINE XU.
Less than 30 years old, with more than 10 years of service experience in the funeral industry, and is the first "send-off" in Taiwan to pass the certification of Japan's Coffin College, it is inevitable to wonder what kind of opportunity made her choose to step into the industry that is critical to life and death?
Having dedicated nearly 1/3 of her life to serving people, what new insights does she have when she looks at life?
Photo courtesy of | Concubine Xu
The girl first entered the black industry, determined to break the bad habits of her predecessors
In her first year of high school, Concubine Yi, who was studying at night school, watched her classmates join the eight major industries one by one, and she was not influenced by her peers in the slightest, but walked in a completely different direction. She knew she wanted to do something more challenging.
"The word 'adventure' is still too conservative for me, I am simply an uncontrollable person, with a soul that cannot be bound!" Concubine Yi, who has a lively personality, showed a sweet and bright smile.
Before entering the funeral industry, classes are required, and the teacher teaches everyone that before doing any service for the deceased, they must bow 90 degrees and tell him his next move. However, at the practice site where the body was washed and worn, Yifei saw a jaw-dropping picture.
The senior in charge of the implementation took a cigarette and chewed betel nuts, carelessly as if he were washing the floor. The male seniors not only did not cover and protect the private parts of the female deceased, but they also laughed and took photos in the clothes of the deceased, and finally threw the body into the coffin in a very rude way.
The loud sound of "jumping" shocked Concubine Yi, who was standing at the door of the morgue, and also struck into the girl's heart like an awakening bell, "It turns out that people's stereotypes of the funeral industry are playing out in reality!"
What made Yifei even more desperate was that such a situation was not a minority more than ten years ago, almost all. Frustrated, she asked herself: "Do you want to compromise and conform to the way you should do it for survival, or are you willing to bear the criticism and ridicule you may suffer in the future in order to protect the original intention of serving the dead?"
Within two seconds, a clear answer came to mind, and her willingness to treat the deceased with courtesy was also translated into practical action, "I am very proud, the aftersound of that bell ringing has been echoing in my ears for 12 years, and those bad habits in the past industry have not happened once in the thousands of corpses I assisted."
(Read more: How to face death? There are only 4 things that really matter in life! Life is never perfect, just leave no regrets)
Countless dead people were sent home, but they did not eat a bite Chinese New Year's Eve
After entering the funeral industry for many years, Yifei has faced many challenges, and the cold words of others have never stopped.
19-year-old cold winter night, in the funeral home and the deceased's home, three days and three nights without closing her eyes, after the end of work, rushed home to eat Chinese New Year's Eve, even forgot to change the black uniform on her body, did not expect to open the door, but was poured cold water by relatives and friends.
"Why don't you go back and change your clothes first?"
"Yes, what should I do if I take my children down like this?"
"You're a good girl, why do you do this?"
On that day, Concubine Yi assisted many deceased people to go home, but she could not eat a bite of Chinese New Year's Eve food, and drove the car with tearful eyes, she asked herself, did she choose the wrong job or the wrong birth?
"After crying, I told myself that I must make some achievements, let everyone know that my choice is not wrong, and this job can also make my family proud of me." With a spirit of not admitting defeat, Concubine Yi made a grand wish full of fighting spirit.
In addition to self-realization, she also aspires to bring a new atmosphere to Taiwan's funeral industry, "To accomplish what I want to do, the biggest competitor is not my peers, but religion and folk beliefs."
Burning paper money, folding lotus ingots, wearing linen and wearing filial piety, chanting prayers, she found that these seemingly red tape funeral ceremonies actually have a beautiful meaning behind them, but they have long been unable to meet the inner needs of modern people for spiritual healing.
"I often think that if I die one day, I don't want my family to have to worry so much about losing me, but I want them to say goodbye to me." Selfishly, I want Meimei's death, and I don't need someone I don't know to incense me."
Since in Taiwan at that time, there was no funeral business that he was willing to pay, it was better to take the initiative to learn and create, which was Yifei's solution.
(Guess what you want to see: "We don't learn to live, we learn to die" He listened to his deceased wife and listened to Mayday's concert)
The big and small things that happen in "Wako-ri" are all things that happen in the long distance
At the age of 23, Yifei came to Taiwan with a well-known Japanese send-off who had been following her in the community for a long time, and she did not know a word of Japanese, relying on Google translation, dancing body language, and even bowing 90 degrees many times to express her desire to go to the coffin school, successfully impressing the other party and making an exception for her non-Japanese enrollment.
Two years later, Yifei returned to China, and three girls, including her, started a business in 2020, the worst of the epidemic, and established "Wakori HEKALI", and she served as the "chief of the li" to provide everyone with "memory preservation" services before saying goodbye. We wondered, what is the meaning of this name?
"HEKALI MEANS LIGHT IN JAPANESE, AND THE BIG AND SMALL THINGS THAT HAPPEN IN 'WAKO-RI' ARE ALL THINGS THAT ARE LONG THINGS; I hope that the people who will come to me to deal with the aftermath are all people within me."
"Li" is a community, allowing people who know the thread of each life to take care of the aftermath, so that every farewell ceremony can be held as if the deceased were loved ones, and it is also the warmth and happiness they want to create for the traditional funeral industry.
In the past experience of seeing off the deceased, Yifei had heard many family members cry for help, and the experience of traditional funerals always immersed them in remorse and pain, but the deceased had passed away, and the living never had the opportunity to make amends.
"Behind the cumbersome funeral ceremony, there is actually a lot of love, if we can add a little happiness to the process, will it make the people who stay more courageous to face the days ahead?"
Prevention is better than cure, and there is no pre-mortem contract in "Wakori HEKALI", and every "Satori" participates in the "Pre-Life Farewell Experience":
In 90 minutes, look back on your life's footprints, leave greetings to significant others, and think, how will you live after being born again? How do you want to say goodbye after death? Any records in the process will be kept with the assistance of the director with the help of blockchain technology.
"We strive to promote the person's preparation before death, so that everyone can prepare 'love ok bandages' for those they value, because only the person knows what kind of comfort their loved ones will need after they are gone, and this preparation is a kind of happiness."
Listening to Concubine Yi's sincere sharing, we couldn't help but red-eyed.
(Same screening: Learn the lesson of "death"!) It's a blessing to be able to discuss the end of life together.)
Create a beautiful farewell to the world in a way that suits you
In addition to his pre-life experience, "Wakori HEKALI" also advocates "Japanese-style beautiful funeral", advocating a farewell ceremony without burning incense, setting up a tablet, and wearing filial piety, and promoting the earth's sustainable tree burial, flower burial, and sea burial, replacing the pain of parting with the celebration of the time they had together.
Instead of calling on everyone to see how a person dies, it is better to witness how this person lives.
This is the core value of "beautiful burial" and her important belief in promoting memory preservation.
Someone once asked Yifei how she arranged her farewell ceremony, and her answer was very impressive.
"Other people send obituaries, but what I send to my friends and family is movie tickets – I want to invite people to see a movie about me, and the material for the movie comes from my every day."
"I will also help everyone prepare popcorn vouchers and toilet paper rolls, no matter what mood they are in to watch the movie, I hope they can cry and walk out of the cinema with a smile after crying to finish their final goodbye to me."
From the twenty-eighth year to the near future, Yifei has the courage to challenge and actively learn, becoming a warm and gentle light in the black industry, shining into countless bereaved families, and also inspiring people's imagination about what happened after her death.
"I have a book in my bookcase called 'Creating Trends, We Don't Make Me Too.' When you encounter setbacks, just seeing it is a reminder, and I often tell people that you don't need to do Me Too."
We can always break the box and create the best goodbye between ourselves and others.