Why is it difficult to say about sexual assault? Men are also victims? Most of the perpetrators are acquaintances? Let's take a look at what Secretary General Wu Shumei said!
The second episode of "Talking with Xuanxuan" invited Wu Shumei, secretary general of the Taiwan Little Ant Education and Care Association, Shumei sister is committed to sex work, including issues such as child sexual assault law, sexual harassment, and sexual assault. She has been walking on this road for more than ten years, and her biggest wish is that the world no longer needs Sister Shumei.
Why don't you talk about being sexually assaulted?
Sister Shumei shared with us the example she saw, a lawyer on Facebook mentioned that because of the album "The Chosen Man", he received a letter from a female reader to tell him that she was forcibly molested by her neighbor's grandfather more than ten years ago, and later chose to tell her father, but her father did not believe her, and even told her that it was over.
So, why choose not to talk? The first, the evidence has been destroyed, and the second, no one believes and supports themselves. Then, Sister Shumei frowned and told another example that was also distressing.
There was a middle school girl, when she came out for help, she said that she was sexually assaulted by her mother's cohabitant, but when the cohabitant sexually assaulted her, her mother helped suppress her, because her mother said that she could not keep this man alone. Looking at the child's expression was very woody, but the tears fell gently, and Sister Shumei said that she was really angry that she made her tremble.
If we can't support and believe her, she will sometimes swallow it, and if it is incest in the family, many perpetrators will threaten and intimidate the child like this: "This is a secret between the two of us, I won't love you if you tell it; If you tell me I will be locked up, and you will be taken away; If you tell it, you won't see your mother or your puppy again."
For a child, a person who is responsible for upbringing, caring for and protecting him, but the one who harms him, will disintegrate his whole world. Do you think your mother will definitely protect her? If a mother wants to believe that her child is sexually assaulted by her cohabitant, or spouse, or her own brother or father, her own world will collapse.
(Recommended reading: Sexually assaulted by PUA and acquaintances, how to get out of trauma? Two ways to rebuild yourself, it's not your fault | Choose the song "I Give You My Youth")
Photo by Karolina Grabowska on Pexels
Therefore, in order to protect herself, the mother will choose the ostrich mentality and do not believe in the child. Speaking of this, Wei Xuan's brows are still deeply locked, and Sister Shumei is brought to Taiwan's recent MeToo movement, and some people may imagine the victim: Is he a reasonable victim? Did they take revenge? Is there any love and hate?
"It's not so good for the victim." Sister Shumei said.
"I want to say to all the victims, when you are willing to stand up today, you are willing to face it, don't condemn yourself for not being brave enough before, because you didn't understand before, you were too young before. Every time you are willing to stand up, you must first give yourself a round of applause, because when you grow up and mature, you can know that this thing is wrong." Sister Shumei said gently, and Wei Xuan also gave applause to everyone in front of her.
Many victims of sex crimes are men
"In fact, of course, most of the sexual assault cases are currently girls, ninety percent of the cases are women, and more than one percent are male compatriots. But there are really many male victims who don't know what to say, and even most people will say it's okay. If he is harassed or assaulted by a person of the same sex, he will enter into another mood." Wei Xuan said, then sharing an example she heard.
A friend once told her that he was abused by his uncle when he was a child, and that friend was a man. There was a time when he felt he had to become gay. If not, he would have no way to accept what happened to him.
Sister Shumei nodded in response: "Let's ask every boy, have you been in Aruba before when you were in high school, college, or even in the army?" Wei Xuan excitedly said that he could not accept Aruba, "Almost every boy has been subjected to Aruba, then you have been sexually harassed!" Sister Shumei continued.
(Guess what you want to see: Real Experiences of Men Being Sexually Harassed: Why Me?) Organize the mood of male victims, relatives and friends to cope with them to avoid secondary injury)
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Ninety percent are sexual assaults by acquaintances
Listening to Sister Shumei share a few distressing examples, in fact, many people only know what happened to them when they grow up.
"When I was in fourth grade, I had very good friends in the next class, and I would go to their house to play. One day he cried to me, and he said that he had a nightmare yesterday that a devil that looked like his uncle was pressing on him, and then he found a pool of blood." Wei Xuan choked and said.
"It was scary to hear this story, and when I went home, I didn't dare to sleep because I felt that a demon would come out. I went and told my mom that I couldn't sleep because I heard the story. I was really impressed, my mother just held my hand and slept that day."
"The next morning my mother went to the teacher to inform him of the situation, and the class teacher went to the teacher next door. Then that classmate, as soon as he came out, he scolded me and told me that he lied to me, what am I doing, and so on."
Wei Xuan couldn't hide his excitement and said, "Looking back now, this may be true, he may really be violated by his own uncle."
(Extended reading: "I have the same secret as Duoduo" Sui Tang walked into the campus to talk about the sexual assault picture book of acquaintances, and met more than 20 victim children)
Sister Shumei went on to talk about left-behind children, children will be left to grandparents, maybe neighbors, aunts, aunts, uncles, uncles and so on, so I believe that many people will suffer such things. Statistics from Taiwan show that the first population group in Taiwan who has been sexually assaulted is 13 to 17 years old, and the second population group is 18 to 23 years old.
Sister Shumei said that she did not believe at all, the largest case should be under the age of 12, especially 0 to 6 years old, just because he can't speak, doesn't know how to call for help, especially the people who hurt them are the closest people responsible for taking care of him. They often wait until the elementary school may be in the fifth or sixth grade, or even the middle school, to understand before telling the teacher or classmates, and then it is exposed.
Then Sister Shumei shared another example, this example is that her sister was sexually assaulted by her father for a long time, but her cooperation was because she felt that if she could sacrifice herself, she could protect her sister. Until one day, her sister vaguely told her what her father had done to her, and her sister exploded whole.
"I would encourage everyone to tell someone you trust if you feel uneasy and this thing is upset. If there is someone around you who I don't have a trustworthy person, then you can call 113, you can consult or report, or you can go directly to the police." Sister Shumei said.
The withdrawal of the case does not mean that there is no such fact
Sister Shumei once accompanied a child, and the child's 18th birthday gift was to go to the police to report that she was sexually assaulted by relatives when she was 6 years old. 12 years ago, no evidence remained, so it was difficult to collect evidence. Later, he found it difficult to return justice to him, and later withdrew the case.
Sister Shumei hereby appeals that the case is withdrawn not because there is no such thing, but because of the difficulty of collecting strict evidence, and do not tell the victim some cool words. "If you want to take revenge on your relatives, the best way is to live a rich life, so that he will not think that you are this type, and I am just good to you like this." Sister Shumei said seriously.
Wei Xuan also added that in the end of the judicial report, there is really a so-called justice, and when it comes to justice, the data is only 14%, and only 14 of the 100 cases are really the so-called wins, because our law adopts the presumption of innocence, strict evidence and personnel criminal law.
So, we want to encourage more victims to try to be brave in the moment. Don't blame yourself for these things, but you can train yourself to have the ability to fight back, and this needs to be practiced.
Most sex crimes are perpetrators of acquaintances
Sister Sookmei said that there should be no myth that "because he is a good person, he will not", these are two different things. The good people we think have some kind of social status that is good for him. Never think that if you say he is a magnate, a good man, or a good teacher, such a thing will not happen.
Sister Shumei shared that the case she handled was a doctor, who secretly took pictures with her mobile phone in the nursing station, and then secretly photographed one or twenty cases. He was fired from the hospital, but three days later found a job as attending physician at another hospital.
So don't think that social workers won't be perpetrators, or that doctors won't, or that teachers won't. An American expert named Evan Stark said that only about three percent of so many crimes are people you have never seen in your life.
"You don't have a sense of humor, you're too sensitive, and you don't lack a piece of meat." These are all very false myths. Many people who behave uncomfortably towards victims are actually people they know, and the line between is really difficult to grasp.
We need to cultivate our own consciousness so that we can see the power structure stored in this society, and then resist it, so that we can have the opportunity to create our world as we like. So, ask all of you, for your dear ones, to stand up for the rights of all our beloved.
Photo|[Don't leave the victim alone] signed the picture
I want to say to the perpetrator
Man is not perfect, man is not good, but the devil rationalizes his wrong actions. Stop rationalizing any of the sins you do; Don't blame your parents or childhood; Don't blame any environment or education for not understanding you, because you are against the will of others, harm another person, please face it bravely.