Is a sober love brain more painful than a love brain? Let's take a look at what a sober love brain is, and further learn to love and be loved!
Do you know what a sober love brain is? Perhaps you have already heard of lovestruck, which refers to the fact that as soon as you have a favorite object, your life will focus on the other person, lack your own opinions, and even because you can't see each other, you won't be able to eat and sleep well.
And the sober love brain is that you have seen the crux of the relationship, but you don't want to trust your own judgment, and you always feel that there is room for the relationship to turn around. You are afraid of losing, afraid of the unknown, afraid of not finding someone better than the other person, and even more afraid that you are not worthy of all the good things.
A sober love brain may be more painful than a love brain, because you know everything, but you can't do anything.
What is a sober love brain?
A sober love brain is not that love dissipates, but that it is still dependent on love. Even if you are not satisfied with your current relationship, as long as the other person can still meet some of your emotional needs, you will still have expectations for the relationship.
But at the same time, I also feel helpless about such a self, because I know that I still love each other deeply, but I am powerless to change the problem, and I can only keep expecting the other party to change. is like knowing that the other party has an ambiguous relationship with other members of the opposite sex, but he does not dare to communicate his thoughts with the other party, for fear of causing the other party to be unhappy and leave him;
Or convince yourself that the other party is just popular, and you don't need to be so careful.
A sober love brain is especially likely to appear in people who have a deep need to be loved. Being loved makes one feel secure and fills a void in one's heart, and hence the desire to increase or maintain the concentration of that love. But as long as the love offered by the other person does not satisfy him, he will fall into low self-esteem, blame, and complain.
The sober love brain points out the element that is easy to ignore in a relationship - the agency of love, because it is so eager to be loved that it forgets that it should also be capable of love. Many sober love brains will overly place the responsibility of love on their partner, hoping to repeat the experience of being loved, but such attribution will put you in a passive position.
When you can't examine the lack of your heart, how can you have the confidence to leave? Erich Fromm, a well-known psychologist, once advocated that love is a skill that can be practiced, so I invite you to read the following 5 selected articles about loving and being loved, no matter what stage of the relationship you are, you can find a place to settle down and "practice love" together.
Love Song 1: The ambiguity of evenly matched
In the ambiguous period, you want to rush forward in your heart, and you have to tightly tie your heart, for fear of making a mistake. Ambiguity is like entering a tug-of-war, wanting to explore more but afraid of losing everything, wanting to keep yourself but can't help but cater to the other party, how to control the main control is very important.
- How to stay awake in ambiguity? Master these 2 mindsets to refuse the love brain and take back the main control!
Love Study Song 2: What is left of fading love
When you are in love, your eyes are full of each other, and your smile is like honey, as long as you are accompanied by each other, you have invincible energy against the world. But after falling in love, I felt a sense of loss, and even doubted that the other party had changed his mind, why what he could do before, but now he can't do it.
Perhaps this is the time to take a good look at why the gap is formed, and what ways can make this love never deteriorate.
- Why do you feel lost after the love period? Understand the effect of expectation and reduce the misunderstanding between expectations and reality
- What should I do if I am past the love period? 7 Tips for Keeping Love Flowing: Accept that each other is different and have your own life
Love Study Song 3: The Complete Equation of Love
As you talk about relationships more often, you are no longer afraid of stumbling in love, and your resilience is much stronger. Being honest about acknowledging that you want to be loved, learning to love, learning to grow independently, and recognizing and owning the diversity of love is a powerful power.
- Pick a drama for you|"Soybean Field Permanent Son and Three Ex-Husbands": Although independence is also good, I still want to be cherished by someone!
- In those days, the anime that accompanied me|"Hidden Girl" Chihiro and White Dragon: Love is a gentle bond, and it is also the courage to grow independently
Before being loved, understand your own depiction of love
Some people say that a sober love brain is more pathetic than a love brain, and people with a sober love brain will blame themselves with the mentality of "seeing problems but not leaving", but you don't need to torture yourself because you have a need for love. It is precisely because you understand your own needs that it is so important to develop the ability to love.
We all want to be loved, and to be loved comfortably and appropriately, but if you are always obsessed with changing the other person to get the love you want, you will fundamentally lose the original intention of two people to love each other. Looking back, you can start by asking yourself, is there a way you can create love for yourself? Sometimes, instead of self-questioning that you can't anchor, it's better to lead your way through cards.
By customizing cards through the relationship between women, we can better understand the imagination and needs of love by drawing cards to ask questions to our hearts, and we can also get some practical psychological action suggestions, so that we can practice how to love in our daily lives.
A sober love brain is not sad, but it gives us an excellent opportunity to develop love power. When we are willing to face up to our need for love and take responsibility for creating the love we want, we can love more abundantly and tastefully.