"We got married because of love, why don't we love after marriage?" Have you ever had similar questions when you are married? Watch the analysis of the five golden sentences of the Korean drama "Queen of Tears" together, and find your definition of love and marriage!
The Korean drama "Queen of Tears" starring Kim so-hyun and Kim Ji-won tells the story of chaebols and commoners who get married because they love each other, but after marriage, they hurt each other due to the disparity in family background and values, and they come to an end.
There can be multiple dimensions of interpretation regarding marriage. From a sociological point of view, marriage is a kind of institution, the family is used as a unit to count the population, and those who enter marriage are included in the social norm and calculated on a household basis; from the perspective of economics, the family is a unit that shares resources and labor, so that people's living costs are reduced, and marriage provides a more convenient and economical way of life.
What is your interpretation of marriage? The editor of a woman fan will take you to review the five golden sentences about marriage and love in "The Queen of Tears", maybe you can find your own answer from them.
(Screening at the same time: Analysis of the Korean drama "Queen of Tears": What did the story of Kim so-hyun, Kim Ji-won's commoners and princesses flip?)
Stills from "The Queen of Tears".
Hong Hairen: The belief in happiness is given by Baek Hyun-woo
I know you must be doing well, you must be beautiful and healthy, and you must be the most successful.
Have you ever imagined speaking to yourself ten years from now?
In "The Queen of Tears", Hong Hae-in, the daughter of the queen group, at her wedding to Baek Hyun-woo, when asked to speak to the camera to her self ten years later, she said firmly: "Although I don't think you will watch this, but if you are watching, why do you want to watch it? Turn it off immediately and do your thing, I will not ask you the same old-fashioned questions as if you are okay or not, I know that you must be doing well, you must be beautiful and healthy, and the most successful." 」
Hae-in's belief in happiness seems to be self-confidence in herself, but in fact it is mixed with more trust in her husband, and she believes that if the other party is Hyun-woo, then she will be happy.
Maybe from Hyun-woo's point of view, Hae-in is mean and affectionate, but the audience who looks at the two from a holistic perspective must know that Hae-in, who seems to be ruthless and profit-seeking, is actually hard-mouthed and soft-hearted, and the reason why she is indifferent and ruthless in the eyes of her husband is that in addition to being able to only fragment memories because of illness, she is also because she is a doer who does not declare everything.
Her mouth is never used to say love, and although the words she says are sharp, they are really just because she doesn't know how to express what she cares.
(Guess you want to watch: Netflix's high-scoring love reality show!"Men and Women who are single again", "Love in the Mountains and Forests"Can you still have love after divorce??What does mature love look like?)
Stills from "The Queen of Tears".
If happiness isn't eternal and lasting, then am I going to continue?
It's just very occasional accidents, it's rare to feel happy one day, I just rely on that day to survive, this is marriage, this is life.
For you, if happiness is not always, almost, but sometimes, occasionally, evenly, and the rest is dull and even quarrelsome, then do you want to continue the relationship?
When Hyunwoo and his father talk about the pain of marriage, his father shares that he does not think that life must always be happy, not every day is happy, but full of misfortune, those lucky fortunes that happen in life, so they become the driving force to support his life, for him it is marriage, it is life.
Maybe you maintain the opposite opinion of Hyun-woo's father, thinking that happiness should occupy the majority of life, otherwise it will be difficult to permanence, and even think that Hyun-woo's father's idea is a kind of fate, it is a kind of surrender and choice, as if there is no way back when you choose a marriage partner, but the two have nothing to do with right or wrong, the definition of happiness is very personal, as long as we still have the ability to open our eyes to see those good things, we will have the opportunity to achieve happiness.
Stills from "The Queen of Tears".
Divorce is not a big deal, it is better than death
Divorce is not a big deal, you must feel that life is better than death to divorce, at least better than death.
In "The Queen of Tears", Hyunwoo actually has concerns about whether to divorce, and his mother's words are like an empowerment, which strengthens his determination to divorce.
Divorce may indeed involve practical issues such as property allocation and custody ownership, but if marriage buries love, we can think about why people can't bury their bones in marriage?
Compared with the past era when family ugliness was not publicized, people no longer rely on marriage as a permanent guarantee of the relationship, and a marriage certificate is no longer a binding relationship, let alone a guarantee that love will never expire, and the married relationship can be abandoned according to the situation.
Of course, people's questions about "why the divorce" may come one after the marriage certificate is torn up, accompanied by doubts, presuppositions, harsh criticism, and the obligation to explain, and the process may indeed evoke memories of getting along, and memories are stinging.
At first, it may be difficult for people to keep a distance and look at it, but later they may find that divorce allows people not to bear it, not to be wronged, and sometimes the end of the relationship can make people find their original selves.
Stills from "The Queen of Tears".
"Queen of Tears": Love is not sweet words, but endured together
The difference between you and him is here, you look at him when I'm in danger, he looks at me, I don't know what you think love is, but I think love is not to enjoy good things together, to say sweet words, but to endure together
When outsiders try to provoke the feelings of Hae-in and her husband, Hae-in firmly expresses what she thinks is love, which may be a little tingling, and may be a little uncomfortable, but because she is accompanied by her husband, she can endure it and feel the presence of love in enduring.
On the road of relationship, you encounter a hurdle in front of you, so you ask yourself, "Is love a self-deceptive fantasy, or is it a self-surrendered trap?" On the one hand, you take stock of each other's disagreements, but on the other hand, you are willing to indulge. Hyun-woo and Hae-in are similar to this.
In the relationship between the two, we see that although the former secretly rejoiced in the face of his wife's sudden illness announcement, he was able to subconsciously save his wife from fire and water, making people discover that language can be deceived, and while trying to deceive others, people may unconsciously deceive themselves.
In my opinion, Xianyou's act of rescuing each other is not like a person who has not swam for many years and suddenly falls into the water, and after fluttering twice in a panic, his body naturally stretches underwater, but it is more like getting along for a long time and slowly accumulating love.
Stills from "The Queen of Tears".
Marriage is an exclusive contract, and exclusivity does not require hard work
The reason for all the problems is that marriage is an exclusive contract, and exclusive does not require effort, then there will be disappointment and quarrels. Therefore, the system of marriage itself will make love unsustainable, and if you want to love each other for a long time, I don't think you should get married.
The establishment of a relationship begins with love, but at the end it does not guarantee that it will be good to get together and disperse, and you and I, who have experienced separation, have personally verified that separation is not an outlier.
There are many discussions about marriage or not, a common narrative is that marriage is the grave of love, after entering marriage, perhaps because of a long time together, all the contradictions are magnified, or marriage itself is carried by realistic considerations, feel more, but also bear those who need to run in, marriage is always better than two small guesses, as long as you and I are happy, it is enough.
As a result, you may be powerless to be like Hyunsuke, and have the question, "We got married because of love, why don't we love after marriage?" Regarding the frequent disputes after marriage, the explanation given by "The Queen of Tears" is that "marriage is exclusive, and because it is monopolistic, you don't need to work hard, then you will be disappointed and quarrel." 」
Maybe in the face of marriage and love, your understanding and your experience are not the script of a traditional love fairy tale, and they are also different from Hyunwoo and Hae-in, but everyone's story is written by itself, as long as you choose the one that is not painful, it is the best, it is appropriate. May all loved ones be able to stretch freely and feel their loved ones at their own frequency.