The topic of age anxiety has been talked about again and again, when you really reach the age of 30, 40, 50, etc., have you ever thought about what posture to use to face it? "Talking to Xuan Xuan" invited Xu Weining, an actor who performed "We Are Not Kind Enough", to talk to us about how she saw her twenties, thirties, and forties, and how she faced the anxiety of this generation.
From the age of 20 to the age of 30, youth seems to come to an abrupt end, and people may be anxious or open-minded about the imagination of standing in their thirties.
From the age of 30 to the age of 40, another decade has passed, and the leap of life stages, have people already established themselves and are they really not confused?
"Talking to Xuanxuan" invited Xu Weining to talk to us about how she views her here and now in her current life experience, and from a girl to a woman, when a woman enters middle age, how can she face all the choices of youth in the past when she enters the next stage of her life?
Anxiety of the times: Can I be an atypical woman who is not married in middle age?
"At the age of 20 to 30, the stage of moving away from the second word and moving towards the third word is impressive, but when you go to the fourth place, you will have a very solid feeling. Xu Weining defined it this way when talking about the 40-year-old generation interpreted in the new drama "We Are Not Kind Enough".
She thinks that between the ages of 20 and 30, there is a sense of momentary detachment, and she really changes from a girl to a woman, but now that she has passed the age of 30, it seems to have suddenly opened up.
She found that the change behind this is actually because she found that a woman's flowering season can be very long, from 30 to 50 years old, and has up to 20 years to bloom, and it is mature and substantial, because it knows how to make choices as it pleases, or is more able to take responsibility for its own choices, so it has to be stable.
However, even if you feel at peace in your heart, there will be many moments in your life, and there will be many people who will tell you in various ways about your inability to locate and your outliers.
Xu Weining's character Rebecca in "We Are Not Good Enough" is exactly like this - accomplished and celibate. It seems that a successful career and a single and independent should not coexist, otherwise someone will point fingers at them.
Wei Xuan responded, especially for girls in the workplace, sometimes they want to prove their worth, or when they really work hard to pursue what they like, they will always face harsh criticism, and when they are faced with blame, and even a pitiful tone, those efforts seem to be rejected together, as if a good woman only has one appearance - she must be happy, have a family and have children.
But in fact, another kind of thinking that we can have is that I take care of myself, and I have accomplishments, I can take care of the people I want to take care of, which is also a kind of happiness, a kind of celebration.
(Guess you want to see: 30-year-old workplace anxiety: can I quit naked? What is the monthly salary to be normal?Do I have to be a supervisor?)
How to face amplified anxiety in the era of community?
When it comes to the amplified anxiety, comparison, jealousy, and fear of the community generation, life seems to be always in the other direction, everyone has their own pursuits, and compared with others, it seems that they will always feel that what they want at this moment is not what they want, and they will always envy what they don't have.
In the face of these anxieties, Xu Weining admitted that although she shared this anxiety, when facing the community, she could firmly tell herself that the norm of social media is to share the best appearance, and the content is condensed and screened, which is not the whole picture of life, so in fact, you just need to withdraw yourself.
As for the language in the community, Xu Weining told himself that language is the biggest beginning of all misunderstandings in this generation, and sometimes what people say is not necessarily the real expression.
On the contrary, it may be a reaction of envy, and it is too tiring to live out the expectations of others in front of everyone, and to live the value of what others expect. If you can focus on living what you want, you will have less time and strength to criticize and even envy.
Picture: "Talking to Xuan Xuan"
Entering the 40s, I have not been fully satisfied, but I know that behind it is maturity and responsibility
In a changing world, everyone lives with a mask and strives to interpret their roles perfectly.
How to balance one's own anxieties with one's own anxiety in the pursuit of what one is looking for, and not change oneself because of the words of others, will make people understand themselves better, be more able to listen to themselves, and even accept that they are not good enough, even if it hurts people's hearts, it is normal.
"Are you satisfied with your current life?" asked Wei Xuan at the end of the interview.
"I should have 8 points, and the remaining 2 points are willfulness that can be said not to do it, and if I can have it, it will be a perfect score. 」
But think about it from another angle, the remaining 2 points may represent proportion, a mature and responsible display, and keeping those 2 points is like making room for people to have the expectation and margin to add up to 10 points when they are not satisfied.
Those anxieties that have not yet reached perfection can be gently put down.
(Screening at the same scene: "We Are Not Kind Enough" Five heart-piercing golden sentences: As long as one person solves loneliness, two people will give birth to a bunch of trouble)
Picture: "Talking to Xuan Xuan"
Behind the scenes: The conversation is comfortable, and you can feel that the words are trying to catch
At the end of the interview, Xu Weining talked about the conversation with Wei Xuan, her observation was very nuanced, in her eyes, Wei Xuan was shy and emotional, and the conversation with Wei Xuan made her feel comfortable and comfortable, because she could feel that Wei Xuan always tried to receive answers, and gave emotional and expressive help.
Wei Xuan also responded to this conversation with Xu Weining, in her opinion, Xu Weining knows her state very well, knows who she is, knows where she wants to go, and doesn't care about anything else, she has become a very beautiful and independent appearance, but this beauty is not just on the skin, but more professional, including the awareness and mastery of her own body, how to better understand her own expression.
This dialogue between 40 and 40 makes people see that at the age of 40, we can open our eyes to see the appearance of our youth, and after we have a more comprehensive understanding of ourselves, we can also learn to have no regrets.